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evile4 Nov. 5:45 pm
A:
skye_ds (skye_ds) wrote,
@ 2004-11-04 15:38:00
Current mood: bitchy
Current music: Rush ~ Tom Sawyer
To Lil_Lamb: You GO Girl!
This is a response to the following post from lil_lamb:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/lil_lamb/150217.html
She has not friended me, hence I cannot post this in Comments where
it more appropriately belongs.
Hey there :)
I don't know if you remember me, I'm bramblekite's monster (sister)
outlaw (inlaw) and sharjinka's friend. We see each other at SCA
events. This subject is near and dear to my heart, and is one of my
biggest pet peeves. I've not said anything yet, but this seemed to be
the appropriate time and place.
I have an undeserved reputation for being combative, because I am
confrontational, and people use the two words interchangeably, when
they are not. Confrontational means, I speak to someone's face, not
behind their backs. I speak politely, reasonably, maturely, and then
I listen, politely, reasonably and maturely. Reasoned and mature
adults can exchange views and debate amicably and still sit down to
break bread or drink adult beverages together at the end of the day.
I am NOT combative. I do not like getting IN people's faces. I don't
like fighting. I ABHOR ill will and personal attack. Last night I was
in the company of a group of people, a great number of whom attacked
me, personally, viciously, en masse, because I am no great fan of
Kerry's.
WHY do people feel the need to attack personally, verbally and near
physically, just because others don't agree with them? We are NOT
stupid. We don't call them stupid (even if we think it inwardly).
Your thoughts here are well-written, well-thought-out, reasoned, and
mature. You GO Girl!
/rant
Respectful Blessings,
Skye DreamSinger
======================================================
sineater:
Thu, Nov. 4th, 2004, 06:18 pm
Too little, too late, but needs to be said.
One who attacks my lady is no friend of mine.
I want this to be known: Do not attack Skye and expect me to be your
friend. She is a part of me, and I of her.
I am especially upset when people attack her and are nice to me, or
cattily say they are not attacking.
(K, this part does not apply to you; I know you feel like you were
attacked even though you weren't, you were honest about attacking,
and I don't think you were thinking clearly.)
I can't trust someone who will be nice to me and then treat my lady
badly. I feel as though this is dishonest, a breach of trust. When I
see this happen, I know that knife is there, and I expect it, again
and again.
I am very tired of people, friends, relatives, acquaintances being
nice to me, and attacking Skye. She is my wife, my lady, and my love,
though I do not deserve her.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-11 09:33 pm (UTC)From: onyxlynxx
Subject: question?
To: evile
Hey,
What is sineater babbling about on LJ? Did someone offend her highness?
You can tell me if it is none of my business but curiosity got the
better of me and I didn't want to wait until Monday.
hugs,
k
me to onyxlynxx:
Apparently there was a heated political discussion at that end of the
table and people disagreed with skye_ds. She perceived it as
an 'attack' and a 'physical threat' and sineater got upset because of
that. Kili and sineater are off one another's LJ friends list.
That's about it. Not worth the drama, IMHO, but whatever.
*sigh*
2626Re: E & A's posts re: whatever happened at polydinner
Date: 2022-06-11 09:40 pm (UTC)5 Nov. 9:38 am
Comment to sineater's LJ & his response:
honehe
2004-11-05 00:56
What happened? If you don't mind me asking? I just argued with
someone for a similar reason. More of an attack on my character than
Skye's, but it upset me nonetheless.
===============
Nutshell,
sineater
2004-11-05 16:58 (link)
We went someplace we have not been in a while, to see friends we have
not seen in a while. Someone took issue with Skye's views on some
things, and attacked her repeatedly over it, and other people joined
in. What's more, I had gone down to the other end of the table and
stayed there too long, leaving her undefended, because I was not
expecting some presumed friendlies (acquaintances, or at least
presumed harmless) to get so vicious. I don't see any point in seeing
these people again until if/when they can grow a little. Heaven
forbid someone have an opinion other than your own; why, they must be
stupid, or evil, or both.
2627Re: E & A's posts re: whatever happened at polydinner
Date: 2022-06-11 09:40 pm (UTC)5 Nov. 9:48 am
My comment in sineater's LJ:
=============
It's sad to see you cutting an entire group of people out of your
life because of the bad behavior of one or two.
No group of people, especially a bunch as diverse as this, is going
to agree with one another 100% on everything. Mostly we agree to
disagree, or don't bring up topics that we know will offend a person
we're sitting next to. Occasionally a hot button gets pushed. It
happens & it's going to happen anywhere and everywhere you go. People
are not always their best.
When I first started attending gatherings, I thought they all walked
on water, and I've since come to find that some people in the group
are boors, jerks, and duds. But at First Wednesday, especially, there
are so many people that I sometimes don't even get a chance to say
hello and visit with all the people I *do* like, so it's pretty easy
to avoid the boring, unpleasant, or just plain uninteresting folks.
It's your choice, and I respect you and love you no matter what, just
sad that you want to throw out the baby with the bathwater, so to
speak.
Re: 2628Re: E & A's posts re: whatever happened at polydinner
Date: 2022-06-11 09:44 pm (UTC)5 Nov. 12:56 pm
me to sineater:
Date: Fri, 5 Nov 2004 12:23:44 -0800 (PST)
From: evile
Subject: Quick correction to an assumption:
"A lot of other people were perfectly lovely, and we
both still want to see them; they are all friends of
yours, so we can see them at your gatherings too."
No, you won't. Because I threw my last party this past
summer and I won't be throwing any more ever again. I
don't want to talk about why. I'm just telling you so
that you don't ever start to feel like I'm excluding
you from something.
The E Bar and Grille is closed. The Bank of E. is
closed. The E Hotel is closed. We dun went outta
bidness.
Love ya.
=E
==========
Subject: RE: Quick correction to an assumption:
Date: Fri, 5 Nov 2004 14:40:52 -0600
From: sineater_
Oh. Sorry to hear it. :( Well... We know how to get ahold of the
people we still want ot keep in touch with at least.
Not a big deal, really, and on massive brain-scarring occurred.
Kilsharion (whatver her real name is) was twitchy and bitchy all
night. When she came in, she insisted she had to sit at the end of
the table because of something peopl did which she was not specific
about. She was visibly on edge pretty much every time I looked at
her. When I came over to talk to you, she apparently started going
after skye_ds over politics, started telling her that no sane person
would ever vote for george bush, she must have been stupid, etc.
knighthorse and some others down there chimed in in a "me too" fashion. I
heard enough when I came back over to really piss me off. I went over
to a) tell her to stop it and b) try and find out what the hell was
wrong with her... She was either really -really- pissed about the
election (like well beyond the point of reason pissed), had something
else really serious going on additionally, or is just a wee
schizophrenic... She had this look in her eyes and on her face, and
was reacting as if everything said within her earshot were about her,
and everything in the world were aimed at her. I mean, she could just
be a hideous nasty bitch, but I think there's something more going on
there. At any rate, she's not the only one at Poly who's nice to
someone's face and trashes them behind their backs, and goddammit,
this high-school lunchroom shit annoys me. Apparently other people
have had similar incidents with her. One person who I didn't think
had a nasty thing to say about anyone dislikes her to the point of
refusing to speak her name. I just get tired of this shit, is all.
At any rate...
Re: 2629Re: E & A's posts re: whatever happened at polydinner
Date: 2022-06-11 09:47 pm (UTC)5 Nov. 1:15 pm
Well, Kili is a vivid personality with a lot of opinions, some
thoughtful and some more emotionally-charged. She's a strong woman
with a mind of her own, of course she's going to rub people wrong.
She rubbed me wrong the first time I met her. Other times she's been
fairly charming and interesting. I'm not willing to write her off
completely but it's not like I want to be her best friend, either.
One example of 'touchy' people who still manage to get along that I
thought of after I posted to your LJ is the freindship between Terriblelynne
and ladydreamtime. I saw you talking with Terriblelynne out front as thewordnerd & I were
leaving polydinner. I don't know how well you know her, but she is
very touchy on a LOT of subjects, including BDSM. Due to some
childhood stuff, it really distresses her. And if you know Ladydreamtime, you
know she is a Domme and somewhat of a "Celebrity" on the local BDSM
scene. Ladydreamtime knows that is a boundary with Terriblelynne and telling her
about a play party or a new toy would upset her, so they don't go
there. Terriblelynne is a bigtime pro-life mommy-wannabe, and Ladydreamtime is
staunchly childfree and pro-choice. Despite these things that could
be 'deal breakers,' they have other interests in common and enjoy one
anothers' friendship, but have learned to stay away from certain
topics for their mutual comfort.
I think people need to learn that if they're going to voice opinions
on touchy subjects in mixed company, to frame their words
respectfully and not get too upset if other people disagree and/or
get offended. It's something I think we could all stand to work on a
bit more. Either refrain from making controversial statements or be
prepared to don asbestos underwear and deal with consequences.
*hugs* I hope you have a fun, safe weekend & kick some ass in any
competitions :)