1744The Real Mr Rogers

[evile]

14 Nov. 1:07 pm

 

 

http://www.beliefnet.com/story/135/story_13567_1.html

The Real Mister Rogers
His widow gives the inside scoop on the Man in the Red Sweater.

By Joanne Rogers

Fred Rogers and his wife Joanne met in college and were married for
50 years. She was the person who early on recognized his talent,
witnessed his efforts to overcome shyness, and loved his humor,
kindness, and understanding of children. "Fred was more in touch with
his own childhood than anyone," she writes. The following is
excerpted from a new book, "The World According to Mister Rogers"
(Hyperion).

There were always quotes tucked away in Fred's wallet, next to his
neatly folded bills, or in the pages of his daily planner book.
Perhaps he liked having words of wisdom close to him, as if he wanted—
or needed—to be constantly reminded of what was important in life.
The outside world may have thought his qualities of wisdom and
strength came naturally to him, but those close to him knew that he
was constantly striving. He was as human as the rest of us.
His early work in TV was all behind-the-scenes, as puppeteer and
musician, and that was quite comfortable for him, because Fred was
basically shy. Someone once asked which one of his puppets resembled
him the most. It was, of course, Daniel Striped Tiger—an
uncharacteristically shy tiger.

The person Fred became in his later years came out of growth and
struggle. As he got older, it seemed as if the nurturing of his soul
and mind became more and more important. He read with pleasure the
works of friends and others he admired and respected, and he began
each day with prayers for a legion of family and friends and, in
general, for the peacemakers of the world. Reading the Bible was also
part of this early morning routine—before he went for his daily swim.
He worked hard at being the best he could be. In fact, it seems to me
he worked a lot more than he played. Discipline was his very strong
suit. If I were asked for three words to describe him, I think those
words would be courage, love, and discipline—perhaps in that very
order.


A quote he loved especially—and carried around with him—was from Mary
Lou Kownacki: "There isn't anyone you couldn't love once you've heard
their story." There were so many times I wanted to be angry at
someone, and Fred would say, "But I wonder what was going on in that
person's day."

Mister Rogers' Words of Wisdom:

On Childhood Influences
All our lives, we rework the things from our childhood, like feeling
good about ourselves, managing our angry feelings, being able to say
good-bye to people we love.

On Love
Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like
struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly
the way he or she is, right here and now.

On Parenting
I received a letter from a parent who wrote: "Mister Rogers, how do
you do it? I wish I were like you. I want to be patient and quiet and
even-tempered, and always speak respectfully to my children. But that
jut isn't my personality. I often lose my patience and even scream at
my children. I want to change from an impatient person into a patient
person, from an angry person into a gentle one."

Just as it takes time for children to understand what real love is,
it takes time for parents to understand that being always patient,
quiet, even-tempered, and respectful isn't necessarily what "good"
parents are. In fact, parent help children by expressing a wide range
of feelings—including appropriate anger. All children need to see
that the adults in their lives can feel anger and not hurt themselves
or anyone else when they feel that way.

On Heroes
When I was very young, most of my childhood heroes wore caps, flew
through the air, or picked up buildings with one arm. They were
spectacular and got a lot of attention. But as I grew, my heroes
changed, so that now I can honestly say that anyone who does anything
to help a child is a hero to me.