Icq w/A May 6 2004
May. 6th, 2004 11:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
evile2181ICQ w/A
May 6, 2004
evile: howdy :)
SkyeDS: how do :)
evile: Can I ask a giant favor? Do you still have the UT schedule
book handy?
SkyeDS: oh no :( I took it home :( alonng with the pretty purple
chimes (thank you)
evile: Okeydoke. You're welcome. I think there's probably another UT
Schedule book lurking at the PO box, just have to go check the mail.
UT called me this a.m. and said I paid them the UT rate rather than
the non-UT rate. I checked the website, and it does not seem to have
the same info I remember from the catalog.
evile: It's only $14 different, but if there's a typo, I want to mail
a copy in with the check.
evile: ANd of course there's always the remote possibility I may have
fucked up. Which NEVER happens, of course. :P
SkyeDS: :-/
evile: Oh well. Poly dinner last night was cool.
SkyeDS: did you see the divine Mouser
evile: Yup. He was being monopolized by the divine Kili and her
divine laptop
evile: Actually, the laptop was like a giant vortex of suck which
distracted all the geek boys at some point or another, usually in the
middle of an interesting conversation
evile: Kili was technically still at work & needed help doing
something or another...so I should not be so snarky.
evile: Did you get my email re: onyxlynxx?
SkyeDS: have not checked it today yet
evile: Oh, okay then. Turns out 'my' new friend onyxlynxx is the same
person as your old friend onyxlynxx--SMALL WORLD! :P
SkyeDS: Austin is very small for its size
evile: Yup. She seemed really tickled at the prospect of touching
bases with you again :)
SkyeDS: surprising, but nice to hear
evile: Anyway, she gave me permission to give you any of her contact
info that I have, but I wanted to wait & get your OK before I gave
her any of yours (even though you have a website with everything on
it)...just in case.
SkyeDS: I hope she is healthy and happy?
evile: Seems so. I just met her recently, so it's not like we're
super close, we've just chatted a couple of times at poly dinners.
And of course I read her LJ. :)
SkyeDS: would be nice to hear from onyxlynxx, ty
evile: cool :)
evile: She & I might start doing skate night regularly in the future.
That would be cool.
SkyeDS: nods
evile: It was kind of funny/sad. I posted in my LJ about how I'm
always doing stuff by myself and it makes me sad, and turns out most
of my female LJ friends feel the same. So we are all going to try
harder to think to include one another & not automatically assume
nobody wants to spend time with us :)
SkyeDS: good idea :)
evile: After Kulilinei has her baby, she and I are talking about taking a
glass bead making class in the fall...it's $expensive, BUT all
materials & equipment is included. So that's good.
evile: We'll see. I have a lot of garbage to unlearn from
X's 'friendship'--I need to take the doormat sign off and not be
so eager to do all the work, pay all the bills, and generally behave
in a slavish manner just to 'keep' the friend
SkyeDS: <doormat and yesperson if I'm not working very hard not to be
evile: It is very very hard to find a good balance. Every friendship
has give & take. One friend has more money, the other friend has more
of some other resource...as long as they are equally willing to share
what they have with one another, it works out.
evile: And as long as each friend is willing to be appreciative and
grateful for whatever the other friend brings to the table, and not
just take it for granted.
SkyeDS: nodnod
evile: "Oh, evilE will pay for lunch, she always does", "Oh, skye_ds
will let everyone at my kid's bday ride her horses all day, she
always does"...its one thing to do those things from the goodness of
your heart and be APPRECIATED, ti's another when it's expected/taken
for granted.
SkyeDS: too true
evile: When I like people, it's just my nature to want to feed them,
take care of them, do things for them, buy things for them...but I'm
trying not to do that to such a degree that it ends up making me feel
bad....balance. Trying to let other people do and give to me, too.
It's hard.
SkyeDS: very
evile: Harder when coming from a toxic friendship that took up so
much of my time/$/self for such a long time. On some level, I don't
think I'm worth anyone's kindness, or that people will like me unless
I am doing, giving, or supplying them with people more interesting
than me...
SkyeDS: nods
SkyeDS: makes it hard to say no
SkyeDS: for fear of displeasing
evile: yup.
evile: Oh well. I had originally thought I needed to just stay the
hell away from people I might like to spend time with & be friends
with until I had scooped all that garbage out of my head. Now I'm
realizing I will have to actively *practice* healthy friendship
patterns in order to eradicate the bad sick stuff.
SkyeDS: nods
evile: modeling it on establishing healthy eating/exercise habits,
rather than quitting a substance habit. I'm very good at cold turkey.
Not so good at learning moderation.
evile: Unfo, when I fuck up on eating or exercising, the only person
getting hurt is me. If I fuck up on a new friend...I could hurt them,
too. So it's tough.
SkyeDS: crashes <sigh>
evile: yuck. Sorry!
evile: Are you doing your b-day campout on your actual b-day weekend?
SkyeDS: since it is a weekend I had thought to
evile: cool. I'm updating my calendar & writing stuff down ;)
evile: That next weekend is [sister H]'s. I have no idea what her summer
plans are.
evile: I guess we can talk about that next week when we're in MT! :)
evile: You wouldn't happen to be using an additional ICQ #, would
you? I just got a contact req. from 216654671/skye_ds. is that you?
SkyeDS: not me at all
SkyeDS: <doesn't use skye_ds
evile: okeydoke.
evile: Tomorrow is 'no pants day'. Also Van Helsing is coming out.
Decisions decisions :P
SkyeDS: does VH look good?
SkyeDS: I also have not see SEcret Window or Hidalgo yet
evile: 2 words for you: Hugh Jackman. VH doesn't have to be good...I
can just watch Hugh for 2 hours.
SkyeDS: OH, ditto.
SkyeDS: Kate & Leopold (drool)
evile: I think Secret Window is at the discount cinema now.
evile: J-Law _loved_ Kate & Leopold, watched it like a zillion times.
Once was good for me.
evile: I liked Hidalgo, but it was pretty long. Another "once was
good" movie :)
evile: If I liked Viggo more, I might see Hidalgo more than once but
he just doesn't do anything for me. ditto if they'd given the English
Beeyotch, the hottie Sheik's daughter (or the Hottie Sheik, for that
matter) more screen time
evile: I totally dug the English Beeyotch. great costumes &
corsets ;)
SkyeDS: :)
evile: I love Johnny enough to see secret window more than once. :)
esp. at the discount movies
SkyeDS: Man Who Cried was also good
SkyeDS: as was Chocolat
SkyeDS: our movie rental place in rockdale sux
SkyeDS: starting to consider nnetflix
evile: J-Law swears by Netflix.
SkyeDS: I have a friend who does too.
evile: I'd rather go out for movies, when I'm at home I'd rather be
doing something besides sitting & watching movies :)
SkyeDS: I'm just tired of sendign sineater to rockdale and not getting
any of the movies I wanted
SkyeDS: when I want to watch movies at home
evile: yup
SkyeDS: drumline was good what I saw of it
evile: Probably one of those things you like because you relate to
it :)
SkyeDS: Bobby Fischer was like that.
SkyeDS: <related to it.
evile: I don't think I saw that or wanted to...it is just such a SAD
story!
SkyeDS: true story too
evile: I know..too sad.
evile: I will probably not get to Van Helsing on Friday. I can do
that another time, but the "No Pants Day" festivities are only on
Friday & I haven't seen the B. Bards in ages. Since TRF in fact.
SkyeDS: I like them :)
evile: Maybe I'll try & get a group to go see VH on the 21st for my b-
day.
SkyeDS: matinee probably out?
evile: I dunno. If I wanted to do it the 21st, no possibility of
getting to a matinee. If I moved it to the 22nd or 23rd, no problem.
SkyeDS: brb reboot
evile: OK
evilE
May 6, 2004
SkyeDS: bk
evile: hey :)
SkyeDS: puters can be very annoying for allegedly useful tools
evile: yup.
evile: LJ is so educational. Maybe not in a good way. I thought last
nights polydinner was great fun. Apparently we had drama & I didn't
even notice!
evile: I think I prefer being oblivious. All these nasty
undercurrents. bleh.
SkyeDS: what drama?
SkyeDS: it is not one of my better qualities that I am intensely
curious about gossip
evile: Oh, apparently people were being snarky in/to/near someone
else's new friend
SkyeDS: I don't take pleasure in bad things. I just want to know
(good bad otherwise0
evile: *shrug*
evile: I am the same way.
evile: I mean, if I am oblivious and don't know I'm missing anything,
I don't worry about it. But if there's something going on, I wanna
know what it is.
SkyeDS: am just too curious, enough to kill many cats.
evile: Basically a guy was talking with his ex and his current GF,
who are friends. The guy's new friend approached and started talking
to him. The GF felt snubbed by the new friend and rolled her eyes at
the ex. the guy saw the gesture and got pissed at the GF and ex GF
for being 'snarky' to to his new friend.
SkyeDS: interesting
SkyeDS: most men don't catch such byplay between wome
SkyeDS: and don't understand it
evile: The whole situation being solvable, in my eyes, by maintaining
Victorian standards of politeness: "Hello, new friend, you remember
my Ex and my current GF, don't you?
evile: Thus including all parties in the ensuing new conversation.
SkyeDS: for example, sineater completely missed X's insulting me while
she was sitting in his lap.
evile: I missed that too
evile: :P
SkyeDS: I didn't.
SkyeDS: and you know, I don'nt care if she's in his lap
SkyeDS: I don't care if she's in his bed
SkyeDS: (I would'nt be in his bed again, personal preference)
SkyeDS: but I do think it is badly done to sit in a man's lap and
insult his wife in front of an audience
evile: Oh well. good riddance to that skank.
SkyeDS: women are mean.
SkyeDS: children can be very mean.
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: I don't know if men are capable of the same kind of mean.
evile: if I were some kind of hardcore feminist I would say that the
cruelty of women and children comes from knowing they have no power
in the real world, so they create smaller worlds in which they wield
power very cruelly indeed.
SkyeDS: I have no clue.
evile: Or I would suggest that males engage in power struggles which
are life-and-death and therefore have no room for casual cruelty.
evile: the rules of "polite society" create ways in which some kinds
of cruelty are socially acceptable and some are not... but I think in
general humans are cruel and most of us get off on hurting others on
some level, in some way.
evile: [Cousin B] videotaped that decemberween party, but then all of hs
stuff got stolen by one of his little druggy freinds. I wish I'd
gotten to see the tape before it got ripped off. I missed a lot of
stuff :(
evile: If it's any consolation, I never heard from anyone else about
X sitting on sineater, just about her sitting on Pace...
SkyeDS: I don't remember her sitting on pace
SkyeDS: I can't even picture that - she is very delicately built
evile: *shrug* I wasn't there, I don't know. That's the one that got
mentioned to me, along with your 'get a room' comment :)
SkyeDS: I was about to say I don't understand why women keep trying
to make me jealous
SkyeDS: but if I think back, I remember
SkyeDS: that once, I did somethign that could be construed the wrong
way
SkyeDS: more than a decade ago
SkyeDS: but I'm not even sure if it's even still general knowledge so
who knows
evile: No tellin. onyxlynxx was saying that's why she tries to be good,
because Austin's such a small town, things eventually get around, no
matter how long ago they happened.
SkyeDS: for a city this size it is very small.
SkyeDS: and the circles we run in are small and concentric.
SkyeDS: apologies for being slow, I'm up and down a lot.
evile: I think of it this way, I'd rather have X crawling all over
Sweetie than all over me, just because if he got bored with her he could
stand up and dump her on her ass, AND I got to the point where I was
pretty sick of all the PDA and the rumors/questions/assumptions it
generated in the aftermath.
evile: "so, you and X are lovers?" "Can we watch?" "can I take
pictures" "how long have you been lovers?" "do you also sleep with
her husband?"....UGH.
evile: Plus, it makes me look like a liar and/or h ypocrite when I
say "I am currently in a hetero/mono relationship" and then have
someone leading people to believe otherwise in order to make herself
look/feel sexy & interesting.
evile: In my experience, people take "no, I don't sleep with ANYONE"
better than "I sleep with everyone but YOU"....which is what she was
making it look like to people.
evile: Anyhoo....good riddance to that skank. Hopefully I'll
eventually get over all the nasty stuff she did/said....I do try. am
trying...
SkyeDS: the popular perception re me seems to be among many - she
sleeps with anyone who asks her, any time
SkyeDS: which couldn't be further from the truth
SkyeDS: so I have found the following quite useful:
SkyeDS: "Yes. I am poly, pagan, bi, sex positive and frisky. No I
won't fuck you. Run along and play in traffic like a good boy now,
won't you?"
evile: yeah, but I actually want people to like me & be my friend
after I'm done explaining to them that I'm not sexually available.. :P
evile: Oh well. Now that I've realized the Austin Poly group (with
the possible exception of Mouser & Apple) are not godlike perfect
beings, the End is Nigh.
evile: I met a really unenlightened individual at Poly Big fun last
yr who told me I had no right to be there since I wasn't looking for
people to fuck/date. Turns out he was from Houston or something & I
was assured that no Austin Polys think this way.
evile: Through the Miracle of LJ, turns out that indeed at least one
of the Austin Polys (somone I recently met & like & would like to
know better) thinks this way too...
evile: wierd to be rejected from 2 groups for totally weird &
different reasons. the rennies don't like me without Sweetie because they
think I'm going to sleep with their men. the polys dont' like me
because they think I'm NOT going to sleep with their men...WTF.
evile: Large generalization. More of the rennie/vanillas fit the
generalization than the polys. I just dont' want it to be an issue. I
dont' swing. I wouldnt swing if I was single. it's fucking dangerous.
If I had the right people (& enough free time!) I might could do
poly-fi, but I still wouldn't be sexually available to anyone who
asked/wanted.
evilE
May 6, 2004
SkyeDS: there are a great many women who feel threatened by me
SkyeDS: for the life of me I can't imagine why
SkyeDS: I closely resemble a cross between a water buffalo and the
pillsbury doboy
SkyeDS: I'm old. And even if it is an open marriage, I'm still
married.
evile: You are way too mean to yourself. But you know that.
SkyeDS: so I'm not openly hunting.
SkyeDS: are there many polyfi's in Austin Polys?
evile: Not sure. Seems that all the poly relationships are pretty
stable & no new partners in sight. but, I don't go to their bedrooms
and I don't ask...none of my business. Might be a good topic for the
yahoo group?
SkyeDS: I used to belong to a general polyamory group
SkyeDS: and then found I was too polyfi for them
SkyeDS: so I left them and joined the polyfi group.
SkyeDS: I have so many groups now I read them very rarely, and
they're all on web only except for one
evile: I think there may be a lot of people who cross the line
between swinging and poly freely & muddy the waters...
SkyeDS: that reminds me I need to post my rent opening
SkyeDS: poly is a big word. one that many vanillas assume means
swinging and nothing else
evile: yup
evile: End of May the deadline for your current tenant?
SkyeDS: yep end of May
SkyeDS: had to reboot boss's puter
evile: cool. That will be a load off your minds, I know.
SkyeDS: I came up with an $8 solution to the printer problem yesterday
evile: excellent :)
SkyeDS: and isntalled the mouse he wanted today
SkyeDS: so he should be happy.
evile: awesome.
SkyeDS: this morning the occupational med dr decided not to do the
MMI on my neck
SkyeDS: he thinks PT 3x week and no collar should fix it.
evile: Wierd.
evile: Hope that works :)
SkyeDS: me too.
SkyeDS: I do not want surgery and I do not want to wear the collar to
work the rest of my life.
evile: yeah.
evile: hopefully the PT won't be too yucky.
SkyeDS: anything to be rid of the collar.
evile: this is true!
SkyeDS: be my luck that she decides not to leave at end of month.
SkyeDS: got news for her, she's leaving whether she likes it or not.
evile: You've given her notice, so yeah...
SkyeDS: if she doesn't go, I'll have to evict her which means going
to court and will take at least a week
SkyeDS: if she doesn't fight it at all
evile: sounds like a hassle. Hope it wont' come to that.
SkyeDS: I did'nt know Austin POlys was moderated.
SkyeDS: need to look into what sca yahoo groups there are besides tir
medoin's
evile: I don't think they moderate too hard-core, just the 'looking
for sex' and posting dirty pictures folk
SkyeDS: I hate those.
evile: So do Sam & Mouser.
evile: I don't know if Mouser is a mod again or not. He gave away all
his duties when he left for FL and doesn't seem to want them back...I
can't imagine why (cough*herdingcats*cough)
SkyeDS: lol
evile: Gee, Yahoo only has 1,371 SCA related Yahoogroups! And that's
the ones that are -listed-
SkyeDS: goodness.
SkyeDS: I probably just need to start with Ansteorra's.
SkyeDS: (that's the TX/OK kingdom)
SkyeDS: adn then worry about national.
evile: yeah, i'm sure there's a way to narrow down the group search...
SkyeDS: also need to see if I can join Bryn Gwlad's, so I can post
the house.
SkyeDS: (that's Austin)
evile: Looks like all the SCA groups are 'member only' and suchlike.
SkyeDS: yep
SkyeDS: just submitted to ansteorra equestrian
evile: cool
SkyeDS: found two bryn gwlad groups but not their general list
SkyeDS: still lookin
evile: LJ has an 'austin for sale' community that seems pretty
productive
evile: and also an 'austin community' community that I've seen 'for
rent' notices on.
SkyeDS: I haven't joined LJ yet
evile: A lot of people do seem to keep an account just for the
purpose of reading friends & communities & not posting. I dont' see
how they can resist the urge to write, but they do.
evile: Well, time for me to shlep stuff from here to there & then get
on outta here.
SkyeDS: <hugs> wind to your wings, bella
evile: *hugs* see ya later!
