1417Poly-english dictionary

[evile]

 

 

 

May 13, 2003

 

 

or: "Hello, I'm an idiot"

A POLYAMORY-ENGLISH PHRASE DICTIONARY
by rdb@blarg.net (plus two by Vamp)

Poly phrase: "I don't use primary/secondary terminology, since I
don't see my relationships as hierarchical."
English translation: "You're a secondary."

Poly phrase: "For me sex is about energy, so breathing and heart
connection are more important than ejaculation."
English translation: "I'm more sophisticated than the guy over
there, please sleep with me instead."

Poly phrase: "I see polyamory as being more about relationships
and intimacy, while swinging is just about sex, and sex without
intimacy is just not where I'm at right now."
English translation: "I'm more sophisticated than the guy over
there, please sleep with me instead."

Poly phrase: "The most important thing to me is keeping
agreements."
English translation: "If you start seeing someone else and I'd
feel unsophisticated just saying that I'm jealous, then I'll
reinterpret one of our agreements until I'm able to say you broke
it."

Poly phrase: "Even secondary relationships for me aren't just about
sex."
English translation: "Secondary relationships for me are just about
sex."

Poly phrase: "Right now the most important things to me are building
poly family and intentional community."
English translation: "I'm getting concerned that I won't always be
able to easily find new partners, plus I'm tired of driving from
place to place, and oh yeah, I'm more sophisticated than the guy
over there, so please sleep with me instead."

Poly phrase: "In our household the most important things are open
communication and open process." English translation: "Expect to
be abused with passive-aggressive 'I' statements."

Poly phrase: "I don't feel that we communicate on the same level,
and that you aren't supporting me emotionally."
English translation: "I'm tired of you but it would make me seem
less sophisticated and hence reduce my opportunities for further
sexual relationships in this community to actually say that so
bluntly, so I'll make this about vague failings on your part
instead."

Poly phrase: "I think we should each have veto power."
English translation: "I want to reserve the right to veto each of
your partners, no matter how much they respect our existing
relationships, so that you're de facto limited to monogamy while I
play the field."

Poly phrase: "I think that we should focus on each other for a
while."
English translation: "I'm having more trouble finding partners than
you are, time to clip your wings!"

Poly phrase: "I want you to always feel OK telling me what's really
going on in your life, and asking for what you need in this
relationship."
English translation: "Ask for what you need, and express hurt
feelings, at your peril."

Poly phrase: "I'm not angry at you, I'm angry at myself, for not
having recognized sooner that we weren't right for each
other."
English translation: "I'm angry at you for not making my life
perfect, but rather than taking responsibility for setting and
meeting my own goals I find it more satisfying to shift the blame
to you while superficially appearing to do the opposite."

Poly phrase: "Out of respect for our primary bond, we normally only
see other people together." English translation: "MAYBE THIS
TIME I'LL FINALLY GET TO HAVE SEX WITH TWO WOMEN AT ONCE OMG OMG
OMG THAT WOULD BE L33T!!!!! "

Poly phrase: "I think we need to process the end of our relationship
and get closure."
English translation: "I'd like to kick you while you're down."

Poly phrase: "We obviously need to work on our relationship."
English translation: "We're through, I just want to vent a little
more so that I can feel a little more self-righteous once you know
it's over too, OK?"

Poly phrase: "The idea of line marriage has always appealed to
me."
English translation: "The idea of having sex with people younger
than me has always appealed to me."

Poly phrase: "So, which conventions do you like to attend, what kind
of books do you like to read, what are your spiritual beliefs, and
what is your ideal occupation?"
English translation: "Which science fiction conventions do you like
to attend, who is your favorite fantasy author, what form of neo-
paganism do you ascribe do, and where in the computer industry
would you like to work?"

Poly phrase: "I'm needing to do some inner work, and instead of
dating anyone would rather just work on my relationship with
myself."
English translation: "I'm tired of you, but since I don't have
anyone else lined up right now I might as well get some mileage
out of the personal growth angle."

Poly phrase: "Well, I'm only theoretically poly, but I already have
plenty of firmly-held beliefs about how it could be done in real
life!"
English translation: "Hi, I'm an idiot."

Poly phrase: "Swinging would be way too crass for me, I'm more
about relationships and emotional intimacy."
English translation: "I've always wanted to go to New Horizons,
could someone give me a ride there and guest me in, as long as I
don't have to ask publicly?"

Poly phrase: "All of my partners are equally important to me, and
they're all primary."
English translation: "I'd rather not explicitly spell out what the
heirarchy is, but trust me - you'll know when you run into it."

Poly phrase: "Our friendship is more important than anything
else."
English translation: "Once you've told me that we're done fucking,
you'll never hear a word from me again."

Poly phrase: "I'm willing to take this slow as well."
English translation: "I intend to act like a SNAG (Sensitive New Age
Guy) and put as much pressure on you to put out as possible."