2994icq w/A

[evile]

Mar. 1, 2005

 

 

evile: *hugs* Hope you're feeling better today.
SkyeDS: some, thank you. I am sorry for being curt yesterday.
evile: No problem. Thank you for expressing your needs clearly
SkyeDS: outside of the immediate situation, I learned an important
lesson that I should have already known before anyway.
SkyeDS: I *always* need to check with the source, whomever it may be,
before I react.
evile: Some lessons have to happen a few times before we 'get' them.
At least in my own experience...
SkyeDS: I did a good job of that with J/[MIL], more than once, so I
knew this. Sometimes I guess I forget.
evile: *nod* It happens. Don't be too hard on yourself.
SkyeDS: I hope I stopped myself before I flew off the handle
yesterday.
evile: I hope so, too.
SkyeDS: I meant with you.
SkyeDS: with the birth, this is the LAST thing you needed yesterday.
evile: With me, for sure. Like I said, you stated your needs to me
very clearly and that totally worked.
evile: There was no name calling, there was no profanity, you said
you didn't feel like talking, and that is fine.
SkyeDS: if I'm going to go to war over words, I need to make sure
those words were spoken first, and that they were spoken with the
intent/understanding that "dem is fightin words"
SkyeDS: he has always had problems with his memory
SkyeDS: carpal tunnel, memory loss, and depression, are all symptoms
of thyroid problems too
evile: Whatever happened between you and sineater is between you and
sineater. I have said and done plenty damning in RL without anyone having
to make anything up.
SkyeDS: I really want him to explore both behavioral (psychological)
and chemical (thyroid or whatever else) roots of stuff.
evile: I do hope he gets whatever help he needs.
SkyeDS: he's more likely to do so with you and others encouraging him
than with just me. thanks.
evile: You're welcome...I really hope so.
evile: Scorpios have that very independent, private streak that will
make it hard for him to share the extent of his troubles with anyone
else...
SkyeDS: nodnod yepyep
evile: I think there's less stigma attached to a biological problem
than to a mental health one...so maybe if he can approach it that way
it will help him to be more open and unashamed.
SkyeDS: well, if he has a thyroid problem, we know it's "subclinical"
because he had a thyroid panel done already
SkyeDS: so that's the same situation I may find myself in if I test
in low-normal range
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: once we have insurance again, we either find a doctor to
treat our symptoms
SkyeDS: or we treat them ourselves, which I know can be done
SkyeDS: regardless, he still needs a psychiatrist to talk to.
evile: *nod* I can't believe I didn't think of this yesterday, but
the Human Potential Center also has counseling available.
SkyeDS: I will make a note of that and mention it to him when he
comes back online.
evile: http://www.humanpotentialcenter.org/
SkyeDS: he has a second interview with a job we'd both really be
happy for him to have today at 1, via phone.
evile: *fingers crossed*
SkyeDS: it did him a lot of good to talk to you yesterday.
evile: I hope so.
SkyeDS: although it was the absolute worst time for you with the
baby :(
evile: *shrug* I do'nt know what people don't understand about these
three one syllable words: "I DONT CARE"
SkyeDS: I went to pieces yesterday, I don't know how I got through my
work day.
evile: Yeah, I was definitely unproductive yesterday.
SkyeDS: speaking of children.
SkyeDS: so a couple of weekends ago, we discovered this bbq place
that we've driven by for years now right that's been hiding under
Klingon cloaking device.
SkyeDS: and we rode up to it, and would have eaten, but my wallet was
in the truck on the far side of the park, so we got driving
directions and drove there and ate instead
SkyeDS: and got permission to keep the horses tied up in the yard in
future
evile: cool.
SkyeDS: so this past Sunday, we take them up on that
SkyeDS: put the horses in the yard, and rearrange some of the wooden
chairs around them by way of "demarcation" so to speak
SkyeDS: two of us go inside to order food at a time, leaving four
adults outside with the girls and Arthur at all times
SkyeDS: and there's this big birthday party there, very little kids
evile: oh dear...
SkyeDS: and while we're in line ordering, somebody comes and
complains that they want to let the kids play in the yard and they're
scared they'll get kicked
evile: oh for gods sakes.
SkyeDS: the manager ( I presume to be because he was the only one
wearing red, everyone else was wearing white, and the girl who
reported it to him was wearing white)
SkyeDS: said, so?
SkyeDS: and I said, sir, those are my horses, and I'm very sorry for
the complaint.
SkyeDS: the manager last weekend said it was ok to put them in the
yard
SkyeDS: there are four adults out there supervising the horses and
the bird
SkyeDS: and we've barricaded off an area
SkyeDS: the horses are my school horses, they're entirely child
bombproof
SkyeDS: and I didn't think the children out there would be an issue
because they've got sufficient (like I saw 7) adults out there with
them
evile: and what the hell happened to the fucking parents watching
their fucking kids when they're outside playing? Oh, heavens, let's
not have parental responsibility! foam pad the world!
SkyeDS: and he said, "I don't care, I'm not asking you to move your
horses, I don't give a damn"
evile: rock on.
SkyeDS: ya know, if the party parents had played it right, they might
have gotten a free birthday party ride or so out of it
SkyeDS: since we're also in the birthday party/wedding/special event
bidness.
evile: *nod* instead of being asses.
SkyeDS: I think next time instead of eating on the patio and tying
the girls to the railing right in front of us, which I thought would
be sufficient at the time
SkyeDS: we will drag a picnic table in the yard over to one corner
SkyeDS: and eat down in the yard, with the girls tied to the table
evile: I would say ask management before moving furniture too much....
SkyeDS: we always put everything back where we found it. everything
in the yard is movable.
evile: *nod* OK
SkyeDS: I was wondering why they have this yard for kids but it has
no playground equipment in it
SkyeDS: now I know why
SkyeDS: or think I do
SkyeDS: gives parents more to complain about/sue over, if kids go out
there and get hurt on playground equipment.
SkyeDS: and then they have to have signage like the fast food places
do, "play on the playground at your own risk" etc.
evile: sad that the world is like that.
SkyeDS: goddamn litigious society
SkyeDS: share whatever resources you have to share out of the
goodness of your heart, and you risk getting sued.
evile: no good deed goes unpunished.
SkyeDS: Hugh says that all the time.
evile: it's totally true.
SkyeDS: I know medical providers don't stop to help people on the
road anymore because they get sued.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: the continued sunshine keeps my spirits up, and cheerful
music, when I remember to keep it playing
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: I really do want to go to the melting pot when I can afford
it. And we want to go to Vivo too. very cool website.
evile: it's nice. You'd like the patio. It came up in a 'dog friendly
austin' article, so I'm sure Arthur would be fine. the parking lot,
not so much room for the horse trailer, but...oh well.
SkyeDS: not unusual for us to have Arthur and not the girls in
various places.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: may be the situation more often than not, I think
evile: yup
SkyeDS: that was pretty funny actually, the people who went in to
complain said something about the kids wanting to play with Arthur.
SkyeDS: I laughed and said, well, then they have a problem. The bird
is mine too, you see.
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: pays better to treat everyone like duchesses than flower
girls (My Fair Lady), because, you never know when you're going to
treat someone like a flower girl and find out afterwards that she was
a duchess and you didn't know.
evile: makes sense.
SkyeDS: sometimes I think Texas in general and Austin specifically
are much smaller than they appear
evile: absolutely.
SkyeDS: besides the concentricity of all the circles we run in
SkyeDS: on our treks through the park in GT now, if I don't have
Arthur on my arm, I get asked where he is, by kids I don't know (but
who obviously remember us)
evile: heh. that's cute.
SkyeDS: and it isn't unusual for us to run into Important Personages
while we're out with the children
SkyeDS: and the Importance of some of those Personages is not readily
apparent to us (like the Mayor of Milano)
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: Important Personages don't always tell you who they are, some
of them are not tied to their egos at all.
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: when I met Scott Hamilton at a skating rink in Little Rock
AR, he introduced himself to me as Scotty and asked me if I'd like to
dance
SkyeDS: the only clue I had was the nagging sense of having seen him
somewhere before, and it was quite obvious from watching him skate of
course that he was Really Good (tm)
evile: wow :)
SkyeDS: first husband was working on being a paramedic/rn, and most
of his CME for the year came from the convention in Little Rock (for
AR you know)
SkyeDS: so I took the opportunity to go skating while we were there -
no ice rink in Txka.
SkyeDS: went Sunday afternoon, 2 - 5, most rinks of any kind are
fairly empty then, this one was COMPLETELY empty
SkyeDS: except for one man in serious competitive gear, and me
evile: wow :)
SkyeDS: I was there first, all by myself, and then the serious sports
guy comes in and they change the music
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and start playing Tzaichovsky Nutcracker Suite, which I love
SkyeDS: and so I'm trying to stay out of Serious Dude's way
SkyeDS: and I'm waltzing like an idiot around the very farthest
perimeter, by myself
SkyeDS: Randy wouldn't put on skates, he just sat in the stands
scowling
SkyeDS: Serious Dude is in the center doing backflips and triple
jumps and shit.
evile: wow!
SkyeDS: and he comes over, and I figure he's about to tell me I'm in
the way, and he says, "Hi, I'm Scotty, and you look like you could
use a partner, would you care to dance?"
evile: aw :)
SkyeDS: then proceeds to lift me almost completely off my own toes,
waltzes me around like I"m nothin, and I had the time of my life
evile: I bet!
SkyeDS: this is like the second time I've ever been on ice as opposed
to wheels
SkyeDS: and Randy got all pissy about it
SkyeDS: and I think it was quite some time after that before I
realized what Scotty's last name was.
SkyeDS: I was watching some ice show, and thinking
SkyeDS: and then it was like...well duh, you stupid witch
SkyeDS: as in "Scott Hamilton Drive"
evile: hehe.
SkyeDS: the address of the rink
SkyeDS: this was before he started cancer treatments and lost all his
hair, although it was already thinning on top
evile: aw...
SkyeDS: but see, a lot of important people are like that, they aren't
going to announce to you who they are
SkyeDS: Ann Richards is very charismatic that way (although I did
recognize who she was immediately, to my own dubious credit I suppose)
evile: I saw Governor Ann at a play at Zach Scott. Didn't say hi or
anything.
SkyeDS: when sineater got laid off from Dell we had to attend a mtg at
Paine Webber in the ofc building there at 98 San Jacinto to deal with
the disposition of his 401K
SkyeDS: her office is in that building
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: thankfully we were dressed business formal. They wouldn't
let Arthur in (after he'd been in that very building about a million
times before, but oh well), and so it was a gorgeous day just like
today and we sat outside
SkyeDS: and I was walking around and playing with him and I heard
that voice behind me and I thought, it can't be, and it was
SkyeDS: and she called him a macaw and not a parrot
SkyeDS: and then she wanted to hear him speak, and I cajoled him
with half a dozen pieces of candy and he'd only do half his full riff
evile: aw. Oh well.
SkyeDS: I wasn't going to give him anything because he didn't do what
he was supposed to, not entirely, and she folded her arms over her
chest and said rather imperiously, I do hope you're going to give him
some candy for that
evile: she's a grandmother, you know...
evile: grandmas are a soft touch :)
SkyeDS: I never took any interest in her until I actually met her.
And whatever differences I have with her politics, I have to say,
that woman is just Something Else (tm)
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and then there are the family members I can't ever remember
names nor faces from one July to another
evile: hehe.
SkyeDS: who have seen us out at one event or another in garb with the
children, and they remember us
SkyeDS: and at Nana and Poppy's 50th anniversary party, where some of
their friends ended up knowing my parents and family
evile: very small world...
SkyeDS: and the people from Texarkana that we met sitting on the
patio at the Taco Bell in either Giddings or Elgin, eating with
Arthur, who knew my parents
SkyeDS: Austin is a big city to be as small as it can be, and Texas
is a damn big state to be so small
SkyeDS: "OH you're Mr. Drake's / Professor Drake's little girl!"
SkyeDS: well, I'm not exactly a little girl now, but yeah.
evile: heh.
evile: Nikiyoy has run into friends of her parents both at poly group
and GWNN
SkyeDS: at GWNN must have been very interesting. Did it weird her
out?
evile: She is pretty unflappable.
SkyeDS: my parents I think just barely understand the poly, pagan and
renny thing, I don't think they could handle the bdsm thing, at all.
evile: probably not.
evile: It's always a good idea, in my experience, to err on the side
of not giving out enough info, rather than too much.
SkyeDS: "you can't handle the truth" ~ Jack Nicholson
evile: It's just not polite to violate people's boundaries for no
good reason..IMHO.
evile: if there's no reason someone needs to know something, then
they shouldn't be told. If they bring it up first, by all means, go
for it, but there's just a lot that people don't need to know, aren't
interested in, and shouldn't have to know about me.
evile: sort of how some people like to trade horrific childbirth
stories...if you've been through that and you're interested, that's
fine, but don't tell ME that stuff.
evile: Then again, I think I have traded my Freak Magnet for a TMI
magnet--I met rei_kun in RL a couple weeks ago and got to hear all
(and I do mean ALL) about his vasectomy experience. Omg..
SkyeDS: gramma likes to say "you don't tell everybody you know
everything you know all the time"
evile: smart lady.
SkyeDS: she turned 82 yesterday
evile: wow!
SkyeDS: says she got presents and sweets, and I said, well that's
what it's all about ;)
evile: absolutely :)
evile: I think sineater's grandmother is right at 80
evile: I sent sineater the link to the Human Potential Center, too, btw.
I am hoping they will have some resources he can use.
SkyeDS: tyty
evile: I think it's an excellent sign that you're communicating and
willing to keep working on this.
SkyeDS: I am torn.
SkyeDS: logic tells me one thing and my heart tells me something else.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I'm going with my heart, and i hope I don't get burned
(again).
evile: I admire your willingness to try
SkyeDS: thank you for your support it is truly appreciated
evile: You're welcome. I do care.
SkyeDS: did they find a good caretaker for Nana?
evile: I hope so. I think Kate had a litle freak-out after they
decided on everything but hopefully that worked itself out.
SkyeDS: that's good.
evile: It's scary, I'm sure, to have to depend on a stranger to be
in your family home, with such a large responsibility.
SkyeDS: no doubt!
SkyeDS: I don't remember how long it took Mom to do the same thing
for Gramma and Grampa
evile: I was glad that Stephanie was able to step in and do some of
the daytime caretaking. I know that's a great blessing for the
family.
evile: Mom mentioned her idea: that sineater, me, and [brother A] take turns
visiting Nana on weekends. I figure she would be fine with the rest
of us visiting, but [brother A] and rubber_pig and the rugrats would just be too
much stress. Mom wants Nana to have 'a relationship' with 'the
grandchildren'..urgh
evile: My sundays are usually free. If transportation wasn't so iffy,
I would not mind committing to that.
SkyeDS: I completely agree
evile: Nana is not that far gone. People keep talking about her, and
making arrangements for her, but she's not to the point where she
can't make decisions for herself.
evile: then again, she spent so much of her life being responsible
and taking care of everyone else, maybe she really enjoys being taken
care of for a change.
SkyeDS: nodnod
evile: I'm not as good at keeping up with people as I should be....
evile: oh wow! did you see Pace's pictures? Too cute.
SkyeDS: I haven't been on LJ or newsgroups at all yet today
evile: Oh, OK then. They're adorable. April did a great job.
evile: april=ample in LJ. She has a naughty bbw website. She's a
gorgeous girl. :)
SkyeDS: :D
evile: (I can't look at her website at work, of course..)
SkyeDS: lol
evile: I never know how seriously to take our IT agreement. better
safe than sorry I guess.
SkyeDS: better believe it
evile: I see a good number of appeals across my desk that are people
who got fired for doing stuff online at work.
SkyeDS: nodnod
evile: TX is at will anyway, so job security is an illusion, but what
the hell. why make it easy for 'em.
SkyeDS: friend said recently that stability is an illusion
evile: yup
evile: You have to take a lot for granted and make a lot of
assumptions just to get through a day.
evile: I just got a sweet email from one of the people at Sharjinka's
housewarming. That was really a fun time.
SkyeDS: had the weather not been the way it was I wanted to go
evile: yeah, it was yucky.
evile: Sharjinka was worried that she wasn't going to get anybody to
come, because it was on such short notice, so I felt like I had to
go . I got there about 11, it was packed. I left the party at 5 am.
and there were still people having fun.
evile: Prophet called me a "kitchen dominatrix"..heehee.
SkyeDS: ROFL
SkyeDS: Jinx and Prophet sound like they have a lot of fun together
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: Prophet is someone I would like to cultivate when I am a little
less stressed
evile: He has a good combination of qualities: smart, nice, and cute.
SkyeDS: very rare
evile: *nod* that is.
SkyeDS: I told him and Sharjinka I wanted to authorize them first for
mounted combat
SkyeDS: Jinx told him, you can have the white horse
SkyeDS: ROFL
SkyeDS: poor Prophet
evile: heehee :)
evile: Lisalotte was at the party too. It was really nice to see her and
thax together. Their body language suggests things are going well
between them.
SkyeDS: :D
evile: They are both wonderful people. They deserve as much love and
happiness as there is in this world.
SkyeDS: time to go home
evile: Pretty much. 6 minutes.
evile: *hugs* have a good evening. Take care.