evile

Jun. 2, 2004

http://www.livejournal.com/users/wingsfromashes/187560.html

The Gab (wingsfromashes) wrote,
@ 2004-06-01 23:29:00

I don't know what I expected, from anyone.

I don't know what they expected, from me, either.

I get so goddam mothermcfucking tired of being this...this thing.

I'm a person. I have feelings. I have desires. Once upon a time, I
even had goals. And just because I don't feel very alive anymore,
doesn't mean I'm dead.

I don't want to sit here and cry because people who used to think so
highly of me can't even say hello.

I don't want to sit here and cry because a tiny person has come and
destroyed every chance that I, a big person, had.

I don't want to sit here and cry because I had thoughts and felt
strange crusted hardened things splitting, and now I wonder why.

I don't want to sit here and cry because I can't do anything right in
someone's eyes.

I used to be me. Whether that meant being miserable, being angry,
being alone, being hungry, driving around until I fell asleep at the
wheel, or drinking til I felt like I could float away, I was me.

I just want to be me. I'm lonely too, but I think being me is more
important.

Then again, what do I know?