2345icq w/A

[evile]

Jul. 6, 2004

 

 

evile: howdy :)
SkyeDS: hola :)
evile: Not a good day to come to work without my willpower--someone
brought chex mix...

SkyeDS: ruh roh
evile: yeah.
evile: If I can just stay away from that area of the room, I may be
OK.
SkyeDS: with me, it's smell
evile: we have microwaves all over, so I have had to kind of learn to
ignore smells. People usually burn stuff, so it's not hard to be
grossed out instead of hungry when I smell their food.
SkyeDS: I can't think of much worse than the pervasive smell of burnt
popcorn
evile: it's nasty. I go home with headaches some days.....oh well.
better than eating the entire 4th floor.
SkyeDS: I always feel guilty about the smell of anything I put in the
microwave because Tonya and Eugene are subjected to whatever I eat.
evile: *shrug* it's to be expected if you work near the break area, I
guess. I've temped in places where there were rules about what you
could and could not cook in the microwave.
SkyeDS: old man Mersky got upset one day when in the kitchen I made a
shrimp stirfry
evile: I can see that, I guess.
SkyeDS: and he stunk us out of the office one day because he had a
little kitchen area all to himself and he microwaved three day old
salmon
evile: ew.
evile: we used to only have 2 microwaves in the actual break room,
but then someone brought one from home to put by her desk, then my
unit went in on one to put back by the boss' desk, et c etc, and now
we've got em everywhere. And nobody ever cleans any of them.
SkyeDS: I loved the kitchen at the law library
SkyeDS: full size fridge, two microwaves and a full size stove with
oven
evile: nice.
evile: Little e is driving me crazy trying to get together when
SHE wants to and see a movie SHE wants to see...I keep telling
her "I'm doing __ on that day, want to join me?" and apparently she
will have none of it. I dont' know why...
evile: And this month's plans are even more eclectic than usual, so I
don't know why none of them are of interest.
SkyeDS: apparently one of my acquaintances in #politics on IRC owns a
cafe on the lake. He invited me to bring the bird out to eat. He's
close to Emma Long, where APD told me I could go riding.
SkyeDS: looks cool
SkyeDS: http://skishores.com
evile: cool.
SkyeDS: I'm still growing accustomed to this having plans months in
advance for every single weekend
evile: *nods*
SkyeDS: I don't know why, it was always like that growing up,
fronting a band and doing various academic and/or music competitions.
SkyeDS: guess 10 years of being sedentary
evile: After July I'll probably go back into Hermit mode again...I'm
already freaking out thinking about all the people/places/things
evile: I know i actually left myself plenty of quiet alone me-time,
but it just doesn't feel like it at the moment.
SkyeDS: I don't even know what i'm going to do with myself once CRW
is over
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: ride in Georgetown on Sundays, I think, because that's one of
my favorite parks
SkyeDS: explore Somerville eventually
SkyeDS: and there's Emma Long and Pace Bend
evile: *nods*
evile: Been to Emma Long, it's nice.
SkyeDS: my friend's restaurant is like right across the road
SkyeDS: his website is cool
evile: that's handy.
SkyeDS: he has a pet policy right on his webpage
SkyeDS: and pictures
SkyeDS: and movie nights and live music
evile: nice :)
evile: woops...I just posted something to the poly group that I meant
to send to one person. It wasn't anything snarky, thank heavens :P
evile: Was trying to send blake the wierdo a lead on a house.
SkyeDS: some of us took up sign language in grade school
SkyeDS: was an effective way to talk in class without passing notes
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: we thought we were clever
evile: I wish I'd studied sign when I had the chance.
evile: Well, I pondered some more and I guess maybe e is not
interested in doing anything with me BUT the movie she wants to see
anyway.
SkyeDS: my mother once pointed out to me that I would have more
friends if I actively cultivated them more
evile: I was laboring under the apparently mistaken idea that she
wanted to get together to spend time with me, but once I got that out
of the way, it's clear that the point is to see the movie.
SkyeDS: and then pointed out when I was trying to improve that, that
I only did things I was interested in doing.
evile: it's a 2 way street...
SkyeDS: I'm not entirely like that.
SkyeDS: I operate under the assumption that if we are friends, we
have common interests, and if you do something you like, chances are
if I try it I might like it
evile: Well, look, within your sphere of interests, there are only a
few choices a person can make if they want to spend time with you:
HFS, SCA, Horses, Movies, Camping. And that's the options. If they
dont like any of that, too bad for them.
SkyeDS: actually, if we do things that I can do after work and not
during the day on the week, I can be divorced from the rest of my
baggage ;P
evile: And, really, you find plenty of people who are interested in
one/more of those things, so why go hunting in areas that don't
interest you for more people to hang with?
evile: you told me you are too tired after work during the week.
SkyeDS: I like going to see the dancers, and perfectly happy if the
boys and the children aren't there.
SkyeDS: I am very tired.
SkyeDS: but things like watching dancers isn't tiring. Skating,
though, for example, is out.
SkyeDS: I wish karaoke wasn't on a "school" night, would like to do
that.
evile: Me, I have about a bazillion interests and I find it
difficult/impossible to believe that e can't find something in a
list of 8 *completely disparate* things that she is interested in.
evile: So the only conclusion I can come to is that the point of the
getting together is not for the friendship but for 1 very specific
movie that she wants to see.
SkyeDS: that does surpass understanding. granted my understanding is
limited and simple.
evile: In which case, why keep trying to gte ME to go to it with her?
Why not find someone else and just go to the movie....
evile: *sigh* she hasnt' done or said anything egregious enough for
me to justify blowing her off for the rest of our lives, but it's
just so damned annoying to deal with her sometimes.
SkyeDS: I annoy everybody on a regular basis.
evile: I can see someone not being comfortable being invited to a
group activity--like I won't invite her to NK or poly dinners but why
the reluctance to do something with me one-on-one that I had already
planned on attending all by myself, anyway?
SkyeDS: dunno?
evile: I labor under the delusion that if I can understand someone's
behavior rationally, it will all just make perfect sense and be less
hurtful. It really is a delusion.
evile: And then after endless back & forth & various convolutions,
she'll likely as not end up flaking out on me at the last minute,
anyway. so what is the point. argh.
SkyeDS: I don't deal well with people when I can't figure out their
internal logic, when it isn't consistent even with itself
evile: *nods* me too.
evile: Or if I can't figure out what they want...that makes me fairly
crazy.
evile: For example, a friend saying "I haven't seen you in a while,
we should spend time"...and then turning down/ignoring every
invitation I extend.
evile: come to think of it, e's not the only one of those...
SkyeDS: which has happened a lot lately it seems like
evile: WTF.
evile: oh well. when all else fails, you drag your family kicking &
screaming... :P
SkyeDS: actually when all else fails, I take the keys and leave them
at home
evile: Just kidding. I would not invite family to something if I
didn't really want to see them & spend time.
SkyeDS: and when I get home, I get to listen to choruses of "but we
wanted to go..."
evile: heh. I get that too.
SkyeDS: mmhm. bullSHEET.
evile: heh.
evile: Oh well. It seems e & I may have a 'date' after all. Now
she wants me to assure her that the movie will still be playing by
then. what. ever.
evile: Yet another reason I can never see myself doing the poly thing-
-too much of a logistical nightmare. :P
SkyeDS: well yeah.
SkyeDS: particularly if multiple SOs refuse to behave like family
around each other
evile: hard enough just to juggle life & friends with only one
Sweetie in the picture.
SkyeDS: for Valentine's I took sonar0m and sineater out to a movie. asked
kaleon if he wanted to go, he said no.
SkyeDS: so I slated time for him the next day.
SkyeDS: and he was upset that it wasn't ON Valentine's day.
evile: nice.
SkyeDS: shrug
evile: I can totally understand wanting 1-on-1 time with someone. But
not demanding it every time you spend time with them...
evile: "Enjoy what you can, not what you can't" as my friend Don so
wisely said.
SkyeDS: well, being obnoxious is not the way to induce someone to
want to spend time with you at all, much less alone.
evile: heh.
evile: the bi womens discussion group is tonight. I know I know
people in the group & would like to go just to say hi...but no real
reason for me to be at that meeting. bi is pretty much a moot point
with me anymore ...
SkyeDS: Sweetie has not the average male fantasy of watching two women
and/or participating?
evile: nope.
evile: he is very hetero mono vanilla.
SkyeDS: sometimes people think they'll be ok with something, say
they'll be ok with it, and then when they actually get to crossing
that bridge, it doesn't work that way.
evile: *nods*
evile: that is why I suppose so much of poly relationships end up
being talking instead of fucking :P
SkyeDS: all longterm relationships eventually end up that way - when
you get too old to be interested in sex anymore for example
evile: well, but you don't have to constantly negotiate & renegotiate
mono. the rules are pretty well instilled from a young age.
evile: I don't distrust Blake, but I am kind of amazed that people
are so trusting with their location info.

evile: especially in the unsteady political climate we live in.
SkyeDS: you're not supposed to have to negotiate and renegotiate.
however, there are a lot of people who don't seem to be able to play
by the rules no matter how well instilled they were.
evile: But what if, like you say, you say "Oh, I won't mind you
spending the night with so-and-so" but when it happens, you feel sad
& jealous & upset. Does everyone just ignore your feelings and go on
with the original agreement as written?
SkyeDS: nope, have to renegotiate
SkyeDS: just like you do when someone says "I'll keep myself only
unto you" and then doesn't.
evile: exactly. And I personally like it that poly has room for that
whereas mono does not.
SkyeDS: do you take them back or don't you
SkyeDS: if you take them back
SkyeDS: then you're renegotiating.
evile: In mono, it seems that the incident is covered over and never
spoken of, in most cases.
SkyeDS: they say "men marry women hoping we won't change, and we
marry men hoping they will" and we're both wrong.
evile: heh.
evile: I don't marry nobody.
evile: have made a few dumb assumptive mistakes anyway. Oh well.
SkyeDS: Kaleon said that I don't want him or sineater or sonar0m to find
someone else, I want it all one way.
SkyeDS: he feels that little details like playing by established
rules are not worth discussing
evile: he likes to push boundaries.
SkyeDS: he should have been a lawyer
SkyeDS: a trial or criminal defense lawyer.
evile: too much work. you already told me how lazy he was in college.
SkyeDS: he'd have paralegals to do his research for him
evile: never would have made it thru a JD program, much less study
hard enough to pass the bar.
SkyeDS: well there is that
SkyeDS: he would have to find a drive through diploma mill law school
evile: even online classes aren't too slouchy. I had an online
paralegal class kick me up one side of the street & down the other.
SkyeDS: really?
evile: indeed.
SkyeDS: do tell?
evile: *shrug* nothing to tell. signed up & paid for part 1 of a 6
part class, failed miserably, sold my books on Amazon.com, The End.
SkyeDS: I suspect the courses are getting harder because established
paralegals are trying to shut the door behind themselves.
evile: probably.
SkyeDS: in other ways besides creating quasi-certifications through
the two national organizations
SkyeDS: what they'd really like is for a paralegal to have to pass a
bar.
evile: *nods* makes sense
SkyeDS: right now, paralegal and legal assistant are catch alls that
could mean any combination of experience, schooling or possibly none
at all
evile: yup.
evile: I read an article a couple years ago that said TX was going to
be hurting for paralegals & legal secretaries. Then came to find out
that TX pays the lowest of any state for those services. duh.
SkyeDS: and in Texas, Austin is even worse
evile: If your paralegal cert. isn't like a state bar that keeps you
practicing in one area, why NOT go where the money is?
SkyeDS: paralegals here are lucky to get 40K and in Dallas we get 70K
SkyeDS: yours truly is making less per hour than Kelly driving school
buses, but oh well.
evile: your boss seems very cool & you get a lot more flexibility
than Kelly. Or me, for that matter.
SkyeDS: yep
SkyeDS: and I don't have the burden of a paralegal all day either
evile: life's a series of trade-offs it seems...
SkyeDS: I get to play paralegal now and again but mostly I'm not even
legal assistant, mostly I'm secretary and receptionist
SkyeDS: and underpaid for those things too, but I have lots of other
compensatory perks
evile: *nods*
evile: Man, I am so ready for my nap!
SkyeDS: I'm going to dump tack in a bucket of oil and go to bed the
minute I get home
evile: sounds like a plan. I don't know why Tuesdays are so much more
tiresome than Mondays, but they are.
SkyeDS: I haven't made up the sleep I lost Sunday night/Monday morning
evile: *nods*
evile: "John & John"...that's some bumper sticker.
SkyeDS: grin
evile: Edwards made a pretty strong showing in hte primaries, not too
surprising.
SkyeDS: lot of people thought it was going to be Hildebeast
evile: I just saw a yahoo news story about a magazine that published
Kerry/Gephardt. heh. oops. so much for scooping the rival press.
SkyeDS: saw that, lol, too funny
evile: yup :)
evile: I went looking t the Krav Maga class schedule. no way I can
get to an earlier class & go to m yhair appt and go to poly dinner.
feh.
evile: They have a level 1 at 5:45 a.m. on SAturdays, supposedly.
jeez, that's hardcore...
evile: well, it's about time for me to make my rounds
SkyeDS: hugs, ciao bella :)
evile: drive safe & get good rest tonight :)
SkyeDS: thankee. you too