2877ABUSE help: Stay Safe Goals

[evile]

Jan. 30, 2005

 

 

from
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-
/1572240660/qid=1107143874/sr=8-
1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/103-9728272-7958202?
v=glance&s=books&n=507846">It's Not Okay Anymore: Your Personal Guide
to Ending Abuse, Taking Charge, and Loving Yourself</a> by Stepdad Enns
and Jan Black

<center>STAY SAFE GOALS</center>

Staying safe is as important as getting safe. The Stay Safe Goals
listed below will strengthen you in areas that could sabotage your
efforts at abuse-free living. We suggest you begin work on these
goals immedately, whether you remain in your relationship or leave
it. They will improve your life and jump-start your well-being.

<center>ECONOMIC GOALS</center>

Economic Goal #1. A safe place to live.

A safe place for me to live is ____________________________

If "home" is your answer, under what condition is home a "safe"
place?

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

Economic Goal #2. A source of income.

I have an adequate and stable source of income. Yes/No

If "no," my task is to identify an assessment and training center
that can help me prepare for, and find, a job that I can enjoy doing
and do well.

Employment placement service: ____________________ Phone:__________
Training center: (ex: Jobs Council, Job Corps, Community College):

________________________________________ Phone: ________________

________________________________________ Phone: ________________

________________________________________ Phone: ________________

Economic Goal #3. Childcare arrangements, if necessary:

A safe and healthy place for my child(ren) to be cared for:

___________________________________________________________

My FREE childcare options include: _________________________________

Emergency childcare options include: _______________________________

Written instructions for care of children, especially if child has
medical needs, prescriptions, etc.:

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

Economic Goal #4. Transportation.

I have ready access to safe transportation.

I have my own car (in good working condition).

I have bus fare and know the bus schedule in my area.

I have taxi fare put aside for emergencies.

Other transportation readily available:__________________________

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

<center>RELATIONSHIP GOALS</center>

You have many resources to help you develop your relationship skills.
In addition to books, videos, cassettes, and some television
programming, you can receive help from your doctor or nurse, most
domestic violence shelters, community colleges, YWCA's, and
counseling centers. Check to see if your employer has an employee
assistance program. If these groups cannot help you themselves, they
may know where to send you.

Relationship Goal #1. Self-nurturing skills.

I know how to effectively communicate my affection and respect for
those I care about (including myself).

<i>If this statement is not true for me, then my plan to develop this
skill is to: (Example: Select a book from the Book List in Part
Four, under "Loving Yourself." Begin using the suggestions.)</i>

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

Relationship Goal #2. Parenting Skills.

I know how to give my children consistent love and attention, see
that they receive the guidance they need, show them appropriate
behaviors by the way I act (including not hitting them), be
consistent about rules and discipline, limit exposure to violence,
and teach them ways to avoid becoming victims of abuse.

<i>If this statement is not true for you, then your plan to develop
this skill is to: (Example: Attend local parenting classes, support
groups, read books on parenting, watch parenting videos.)<i>

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

Relationship Goal #3. Refusal Skills.

I know how to say "no" to people, places, and things that violate my
set personal limits (boundaries).

<i>If this statement is not true for me, my plan to develop this
skill is to: (Example: Complete the action steps in the "Boundaries"
section of this book.)</i>

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

Relationship Goal #4. Assertiveness Skills.

I know how to get my needs and reasonable wants met without becoming
dishonestly compliant (saying "yes" when I think and feel "no"), or
becoming hostile or aggressive.

<i> If this statement is not true for me, then my plan to develop
this skill is to: (Example: Rent a video at the library, practice
with a trusted friend.)</i>

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

Relationship Goal #5. Conflict Resolving Skills.

I know how to settle disagreements and fights in a positive way.

<i>If this statement is not true for you, then your plan to devlop
this skill is to: (Example: Enroll in a class on conflict resolution
at the YWCA.)</i>

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

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