EJ - Lyle hit Dee
Feb. 26th, 2004 04:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
evile
evilE
Feb. 26, 2004
Date: Thu, 26 Feb 2004 08:38:04 -0800 (PST)
From: "Dionne Ruff-Sloan" <goddess_dionisia@yahoo.com> Add to
Address Book
Subject: You won't believe what's happened
To: "evilE H" <eekatfreaksdotnet@yahoo.com>, "evilE Haynes"
<eek@buncha.freaks.net>
First off let me know which of these addresses gets to you quickest
or which you don't use anymore...
In the UNBELIEVEABLE column: My husband has lost his mind! He hit
me....that's right HIT ME; I was doing yoga and asked him to check
Josephine's homework while I finished up well she had spelling
sentences (which I'm sure I've told you of her learning difficulties,
my fight with the various schools she's been in etc) well for some
reason the longer he attempted to correct her the more irriated he
became. She never learned phonics and he's having her sound out the
words then expecting her to be able to remember what letters are in
those words after she had struggled through sounding things out! So
I finally intervened after he yelled at her for not remembering how
to spell a word that was 3 sentences above the last one telling him
that he wasn't being helpful to her to which he replied that "Even a
goldfish has more than 3 seconds of memory (a fact that he only
learned the night before from a television show!) At that point I
was furious and told Josephine to bring me her things I'd finish yoga
later. He insisted that she stay and finish working with him. So I
called my mom cuz I was 2 seconds away from kicking his ass and the
more I talked to my mom the more angry I got until I finally told
Josephine to come talk to my mom on the phone. While she talked to
my mom I went and got her things from Lyle telling him that he was no
better than that 2nd grade teacher that she had that chastized her
for her inability to read in a group setting and if I had to schedule
my life around helping Josephine with her homework he would NEVER
work with her again. I told him that he was supposed to be an adult
and if another adult told said something similar about him he
wouldn't like it and he would be outraged if a stranger said that
about Josephine. After saying my peace I left him in the pc room to
stew while I went on to finish correcting 'Phine's work and talking
on the phone to my mom. So after about 5-10 minutes he came out of
the room and stood next to me which I knew meant he wanted to talk.
Well by that time I had calmed down and was on to the next topic with
my mom so I told her I'd call her back. I walked him back into the
pc room and shut the door behind me and then he just started red
faced screaming at me telling me that the only reason he said that
(about 'phine) was because he was frustrated after having to argue
with me from several rooms away to which I said that was the
stupidest thing I ever heard that he was frustrated with me so he
calls Josephine names that would be like me being frustrated with
something that happened with the school and then calling him names
because of it. After that it just kept escalating with him yelling
in my face and me yelling back and then he hit me. I told him he'd
crossed the line and we were through that he better go get the
divorce papers started because he was through and would never touch
me again and that he needed to leave. He did and called me later
that evening to say that he was at a hotel and to apologize. I
didn't call the police because he did leave voluntarily and at that
point I thought it would be worse for Josephine although she didn't
see what had happened. The sad/scary thing is I don't remember how
he hit me. I know he hit me on my jaw and my neck is sore because of
it. I went to fill out the report with the social worker yesterday he
turned himself into them Tuesday morning so now the military is
involved and after those Ft. Bragg wives were killed and it came out
that those guys were reported they aren't taking any chances. They
have to assess what the plan of action is before they allow him to
come back here.
I finally had a full conversation with Lyle last night and he doesn't
know why he did this...there was no reason for him to do this, we
weren't arguing prior to that, we had finished working on a piece of
furniture we're refinishing. The only thing that makes any sense is
that he was made at me for defending Josephine but even that is
flimsy. After talking to him last night I get the impression that he
doesn't feel that he did anything wrong to her and at this point the
only thing he's remorseful about is hitting me.
Well that's been my week. These last few days I've been just as
angry as I was back in high school and channeled the Goddess Kali to
see me through this. Call me if you can...I'd love to hear a
friendly voice on the other end since I'm alone in this place. (706)
364-2529
Keep me in your prayers
D
I am a reflection of Goddess an aspect of the Divine. I am She as She
is me and together we are one.
=============
me to D:
*GIANT HUGS*
Honey, I'm so sorry that happened, and I agree that
there wasn't anything going on that made Lyle do
that.(and NO EXCUSE for it, at all, even if there had
been a screaming match before the physical violence.)
There's something in his own head that needs fixing.
You are so brave and so right to end it before it gets
worse. I know it must be scary for you right now. Mama
Kali will take care of you, and I'm right there with
her!
I love you _lots_. Please let me know if there's
anything I can do. I am getting my IRS refund soon,
it's yours if you need it. One of my credit cards is
recently paid to 0, too. Do you want me to book you
and 'Phine a flight to SA? Think about what needs to
be done & I'll call you tonight. We can talk then.
*big hugs to Josephine*
XOXOXOXO!
=E
PS: I use yahoo the most because it's the one I can
check from work, but the other gets checked every now
and then, too. A lot of spam gets through to freaks.net.
=======
I forwarded to J-Law with this:
And why exactly do we _WANT_ men in our lives?
*sigh* This puts the petty shit into perspective for
me.
I'm going to call Dee after work & see what needs to
be done. Thank heavens I've paid one credit card to 0
and have an IRS refund coming. Everything happens for
a reason...so they say.
This is so sad. I really liked Lyle & thought he was a
good guy. :(
------------
J-Law's thoughts:
Oh, Jesus. I am sitting here crying, and I don't even know her and
Josephine, except from what you have said. That is just awful.
They, and you, are in my prayers.
Of course he wouldn't, but if Sweetie ever hits you, I will kill him,
that is, if your folks don't beat me to it.
--------
me to J-Law:
I couldn't wait, I had to call her & hear her voice.
She was calm and I cried. GACK, I'm sure she didn't
need that.
But...I am a wuss.
I am thinking of plans & ideas for what we can do. One
thought I had is that sineater's out of work now, so I
might fly him to GA, and he can help her pack up &
drive a moving truck back to TX & also be around in
case Lyle comes back and tries to cause any trouble. I
really can't picture Lyle being like that, he's such a
normal, nice guy...I blame the military. Seriously.
They totally fucked with his head to turn him into a
soldier.
Ulterior motive: sineater can hear from a strong &
spirit-centered woman what SHOULD be done when facing
an abusive spouse.
so...I'm a wuss, but I will try and be strong for D
when I call tonight. So wierd that she was calm & I
lost it when I heard her voice...
============
Me to sineater & Brother A:
Dee is divorcing Lyle, he hit her last night.
I am going to call her tonight and see what she needs.
I am working out various thoughts & ideas right now.
One thought I had was to fly one, or more, of my
able-bodied brothers (who aren't working & can take a
few days to do this, hopefully, yes?) to GA to help
her pack & move & drive a moving truck to San Antonio.
I can't talk on the phone right now, 1) I'm at work
and 2) I might cry.
I'll call you as soon as I know what's going on, what
Dee needs, and as soon as there is any kind of
tentative plan.
Love ya's.
XO!
=E
Reply
Delete
evilE
Feb. 26, 2004
J-Law:
--- Jennifer DeWitt <jendewitt2000@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Girl, YOU ARE NOT A WUSS. Your reaction is totally
> normal, and an expression of how much you love and
> care about her, and - she knows that and doesn't
> think less of you.
>
> Taking sineater sounds like a good plan.
==============
me to J-Law:
I talked on yahoo messenger with D over the lunch hour & she says
she's alternating between angry & crying. So I guess I caught her at
an an 'angry' point.
I gave her what I'd thought of so far, which is 1) flying her and
Phine to Texas for a few weeks to let Lyle simmer down, get some
anger management classes, etc. 2) moving her and Phine back to TX for
good
She says the military is involved & they've assigned counselors to
both of them. There is also a court order to keep Lyle from coming
home for now. the Army may jail him or discharge him. Apparently they
take domestic violence very seriously now, because of something that
happened recently at Ft Bragg. She thinks a discharge is unlikely
because he only has 1.5 years to go in this rotation or tour of duty
or whatever its called.
*sigh* So...that's where we are now. She is more mad at him for
yelling at Josephine than she is about being hit. That's the mother
lioness for ya.
Anyhoo. Thanks for being there for me :) I love you!
=E
