2687icq w/A

[evile]

Dec. 6, 2004

 

the LJ entry she refers to is this:

http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=skye_ds&keyword=%
2A&filter=all
===========================

evile: hey :) How was Friday?
SkyeDS: I can't remember the last time I saw so many children in one
place at one time, it rocked
evile: cool :)
SkyeDS: how was your weekend?
evile: I was mostly sick & at home.
SkyeDS: sineater too :(
evile: I went out to the bellydance show on Saturday night, and that
about did me in.
SkyeDS: :(
SkyeDS: we didn't do anything all weekend but sleep and read
evile: *nod* yup, me too.
evile: I was tremendously hungry all weekend too..but I think that's
a 'hibernate for winter' thing and not a 'sick' thing.
SkyeDS: I think I'm in hibernate/hunger mode too.
SkyeDS: that my GI tract still wants to run away from home is not
good in conjunction
evile: nope.
evile: I did the monthly weigh/measure thing this weekend, I've
stayed the same weight but lost inches everywhere but calves & upper
arms.
SkyeDS: :D
SkyeDS: scale thing is good when people keep asking how much have you
lost...but it's the inches that make you feel better, I think.
evile: fitting better into clothes is always a nice feeling.
SkyeDS: amen
evile: I'm getting a waist again, thank goddess.
SkyeDS: :D
SkyeDS: talked to K yesterday.
SkyeDS: sineater is more than happy to try to make Houston and Austin,
but he's not enthused about San Antonio.
evile: ?????
evile: K my mom k?
SkyeDS: ya
evile: I have no idea what any of that is about. Assuming it's going
to be something while I'm in Vegas, rather than a deliberate
exclusion.
SkyeDS: Sineater's father is going to give us an itinerary of where they will be
and when, and I said, as far as I personally was concerned, that we
would attempt to day trip as many stops on that itinerary as we could
SkyeDS: however, sineater is not real keen on going to SA.
evile: *shrug* I have no idea what any of that is about, I haven't
heard anything.
SkyeDS: G&K are going to be visiting Houston, Austin and SA over Xmas.
SkyeDS: sineater is happy to daytrip Houston and Austin but he isn't
thrilled about SA.
SkyeDS: but then he was waffling about TG all the way out the door
and all the way there
evile: *shrug* wouldn't go to San antonio on a bet at this point.
SkyeDS: nods. and I don't think G&K will be surprised or put off if
we don't.
evile: nope.
SkyeDS: I still have to figure out when we're going to Txka too
evile: *nod*
evile: Did you tell me at some point that Mike B., sineater's work bud
from Dell, married a woman named Crystal?
SkyeDS: ya
evile: She might have been one of the dancers on Saturday---Z Helene
had one number that was all of her students, from all levels, doing a
dance to drum accompaniment.
SkyeDS: nice girl, seems to have a good effect on him from what
little I know.
evile: Is she tallish, long dark hair, very pear shaped?
SkyeDS: I know his mom used to dance professionally, I don't know if
Crystal would. She's very self conscious about her body
SkyeDS: not much taller than me, dark hair, don't know how long now,
I'm not good with shapes, I can' t say whether it's pear or not :-/
evile: It would be interesting if that was the same person, then.
SkyeDS: it would be good for her self confidence, if it were.
evile: this girl was *definitely* bigger on bottom than on top, it's
pretty noticable.
evile: but then if she dresses in baggy stuff when she's not in
bellydance clothes, you might not see it...I guess.
SkyeDS: I've never seen her in anything that wasn't baggy
SkyeDS: but she has a pretty face
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: somewhat crooked teeth if I remember correctly
SkyeDS: but very porcelain doll like other wise, big eyes, wide
spaced, high cheekbones
SkyeDS: I've only seen her maybe twice in my life
evile: hm. could be the same person. I was sitting across the room
from her family & friends, so I didn't get a good look to see if I'd
recognize Mike. Only met him that once, so probably not.
SkyeDS: sigh.
SkyeDS: I have done tole people and tole people, I am not here until
noon on Mondays.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: so I come in at 11 today, and my renter has already come by
here and left
SkyeDS: "you weren't there, I guess I'll give you the money tomorrow"
evile: dang.
SkyeDS: and bet me she comes by before I'm here tomorrow too.
SkyeDS: I'm about tempted to stop by there on t he way home from work
today even if it does make me late for a lesson
evile: That's a hassle, either way...
SkyeDS: weather doesn't look good for lesson anyway
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: these people aren't the sharpest tools in the shed
SkyeDS: hopefully we can manage to get through five years together so
I can just give them the home when it's paid off, and be through with
it, and them
evile: eh, it's monday, we're all a little rusty on Mondays.
SkyeDS: and then they can continue to be not very bright to their
hearts content.
SkyeDS: they waited two weeks to tell me the roof may be leaking and
that the a/c is making funny smells
SkyeDS: so sineater and I go over there
SkyeDS: the a/c smells funny because there's standing water (and
therefore mold) in the ducts
evile: ick
SkyeDS: there's water in the ducts because they didn't report a roof
leak for two weeks
SkyeDS: AND
SkyeDS: the pipes in the bathroom are leaking, and have been for over
a month
SkyeDS: so the drywall both in the bathroom and in the bedroom
(adjoining wall) will have to be replaced
SkyeDS: so I told them this.
SkyeDS: 1) call the C ity of Austin and get them to come out here and
do a free weatherization. They will weathercoat the roof (we
couldn't find any holes), check the windows, give you a new door, all
for free
SkyeDS: but YOU have to do this.
SkyeDS: I can't do this for you because I make too much money.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and, what I was told more than a month ago about the bathroom
was, there were "minor repairs" and Fabian wanted my permission to
repair them himself, which I gave.
SkyeDS: no mention of leaky/busted pipes, drywall needing
replacement, etc
SkyeDS: so I said, look, no point in me paying to have the ducts
cleaned, until the sources of water are taken care of.
evile: wow...
SkyeDS: so you call the City of Austin and get the roof weatherized
SkyeDS: and you make the repairs you said you would to the bathroom
SkyeDS: and THEN I'll pay to have the ducts cleaned
SkyeDS: and not before
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: because it's a waste of my money to clean them and have them
get moldy again
SkyeDS: and they haven't cleaned out the inside a/c filters and such
since June.
evile: ooh, yuck.
evile: our thermostat tells us when the filter needs to be
changed...otherwise we probably never would.
SkyeDS: maybe sineater and I ought to make a list of what they need to do
on what kind of basis
SkyeDS: like we ought to be talking, but they're worse than we are
(and that's bad)
evile: *nod* a list couldn't hurt...maybe they really don't know..
evile: e was asking me about some house stuff that I had NO clue
about: when to de scale the water heater and when to re caulk the
tubs.
SkyeDS: he's in construction, so I don't know what he does and
doesn't know
evile: *nod* building isn't hte same as maintaining, really
SkyeDS: true
evile: I just got my daily quota...with 2 more hours to kill.
SkyeDS: yay?
evile: I guess...I just have to look busy somehow until 4
evile: i already went to the post office & mailed cousin B's bday prezzie,
that took 45 minutes...
evile: I stopped by Waterloo records & got him a CD on my way to the
bellydance show.
SkyeDS: :)
evile: I got aunt L and Mom CDs too. I was slightly bad & got me one,
too...but I guess that's OK, I needed something nice to help me get
well.
evile: (de-lovely soundtrack)
SkyeDS: lot of soundtracks I want
SkyeDS: should ask sineater when he wants to do the Xmas shopping
evile: B's & L's were for their bdays. Moms was...just cuz.
evile: I"m not doing Xmas this year, btw, other than cards, so please
don't feel obligated to do for me or Sweetie.
SkyeDS: ok (although we're gonna do what we're gonna do anyway :P)
evile: *nod* L says the same thing.
SkyeDS: probably won't be very much, but better than years past,
we're a little more flush.
evile: I should go thru my boxes & see what I have. I often find
stuff that would be 'just right' for someone and then if I put it
away for an occasion I forget about it.
SkyeDS: nod. I am already giving away a lot of stuff in perfectly
good shape to Kelly & the kids.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: a white sweatshirt with a beautiful purple and silver pegasus
full wings outspread
SkyeDS: a pretty purple carousel horse tshirt
SkyeDS: leather thigh his with low heels for Brit to play with
SkyeDS: her feet are my size
evile: wow :)
SkyeDS: and giving Michael a sword I bought for sineater that he didn't
want.
SkyeDS: with his mom's permission of course
evile: sounds like a good haul :)
SkyeDS: I don't think her feelings are hurt knowing that none of it
is "new"
SkyeDS: although certainly the boots and the sword haven't been
touched since they arrived.
evile: nah
SkyeDS: the boots did not fit ankles nor calves
evile: I hate it when that happens.
SkyeDS: I know I have heavily muscled calves, but I have tiny little
ankles and feet so I don't know what that's all about <shrug>
evile: yeah, that's a wierd place for something not to fit.
SkyeDS: I would have paid to have zippers put into the ankles, but
the calves still wouldn't fit
SkyeDS: Kelly doesn't want me giving a hundred dollar pair of boots
to Brit because she thinks I should put them on ebay.
SkyeDS: I told her if Brit would enjoy playing with t hem, it's fine
by me
evile: *shrug* they're yours to dispose of as you will. If you know
Brit will love playing with them, I'd consider it money well spent :)
SkyeDS: my concern is that they may be too tall for her to even play
with, but we'll see.
evile: I remember my mom being horrified when L gave me her
wedding dress for 'playing dress up'....but I loved it, and L was
happy to see me getting use out of it.
SkyeDS: I bet that was cool.
evile: She can always fold them down & swashbuckle around. :) Little
kids are pretty inventive with big people clothes
SkyeDS: that's true, and I think they're designed to fold down.
evile: L's wrists were tiny--the sleeves barely buttoned over my
wrists when I was 8-9.
SkyeDS: that's the problem in finding a new home for the boots
evile: And then I wore skates so the dress wouldn't be too long...and
told all my friends I was going to get married on skates when the
time came.
SkyeDS: my feet are so much smaller than all my friends
evile: you do have itty bitty feet.
SkyeDS: be slow for the next while, have a project that involves
using my floor for temporary filing space
evile: OK
SkyeDS: wow. I made a post to polys and didn't get flamed. cool.
evile: oh, the marriage thing?
SkyeDS: ya
evile: I saw that. THe list's been pretty quiet for a while now, I
think all the trolls got bored and went looking for more fun
elsehwere.
SkyeDS: one of those things that while I was doing it, I knew I
probably shouldn't do.
SkyeDS: anyway, I figured I was leaving myself open for those who
amuse themselves by taking shots at me, to do so
evile: come to think of it, I haven't had my annual Thanksgiving/Xmas
flame war yet. *ducks*
SkyeDS: rofl
SkyeDS: wait a minute. isn't polys moderated?
evile: somewhat
SkyeDS: oh. now it says that msgs don't require approval.
SkyeDS: I remember at one point they did.
evile: I think it's moderated for new members, like the first X#
posts you make are moderated, and after that you're unmoderated.
SkyeDS: I am happy that Kil & Co did not see need to take shots, at
any rate
evile: *nod*
evile: I can't remember the last time she posted on the yahoo group...
SkyeDS: there are so many hurtful things in the world, I really don't
understand people who go out looking for reasons to be hurt/offended
or whatever
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I heard a reasonably good analogy today
SkyeDS: "so...if you were deprived, 20 years ago, of a decent
breakfast, and now, you're being offered a decent breakfast, what
sense does it make to say n o to the decent breakfast now, because
you didn't get one 2o years ago?"
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: I sat down and wrote out, including "line item" specifics,
what I understand our Family Understanding/Agreements/Rules (about
the open aspect of the marriage) to be
SkyeDS: it took a while, but the boys both approved it without
adding/deleting/changing a word.
evile: that's helpful, I'm sure.
SkyeDS: I put it in my LJ under private and then memories so I had
some place to store it (since I did it at work)
SkyeDS: emailed copies to them
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: the level of detail makes it long
evile: I'm sure.
SkyeDS: I guess you can't take the law office out of the paralegal
even when you take the paralegal out of the law office. I feel
better to have everything written down.
evile: yup.

Comments

2688Re: icq w/A

[evile]

Dec. 6, 2004


evile: I guess that's the really intimidating thing about poly--there
are no set rules, you have to discuss and negotiate everything as you
go.
evile: I'm lazy, I like assumptions.
SkyeDS: the level of rules is no doubt what separates poly-fi from
other poly
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: more comfort making for me, anyway
SkyeDS: I don't care about the sex
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: but I get nervous about STDs, babies, and anything that's
going to put a drain on Family Resources
evile: yup
SkyeDS: M's family is being much more reasonable this year than last
SkyeDS: apparently they're still smarting over his not being there at
Xmas.
SkyeDS: last year.
evile: oh well...
SkyeDS: I find that bemusing since I tried to negotiate his coming
home with them every day for more a month during the holidays last
year.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: anyway, this new counselor seems much more capable of reining
in his parents, particularly his rabid mother, than the first one.
So it's all good.
evile: but if they were being ugly about it, that's no incentive for
him to spend time with them.
SkyeDS: for the longest time, counseling was simply an hour long
refereed session for them to bitch at him.
evile: If they seem like they're being more reasonable, hopefuly he
can have some decent family time.
SkyeDS: well, they are well aware through painful experience that if
they harm him, emotionally or physically, I will come get him, and he
won't come back home, except to collect his belongings.
SkyeDS: I don't think they'll risk going there again.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and what amuses/bemuses me, is that people are so surprised
SkyeDS: look, if you mess with one of mine, then you get to deal with
me. what's so hard to understand about that?
SkyeDS: you can play nice with sineater, sonar0m, and my other Friend-
Family, or you can play global thermonuclear warfare with me.
evile: Did you borrow any kind of template for your family agreement,
or make your own?
SkyeDS: I made my own. I did borrow from Planned Parenthood the
definition of Safer Sex
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: it's long and probably boring but you're welcome to it if you
want it
evile: sure.
SkyeDS: which email addy do I send it to?
evile: ********[Bad username or site: yahoo @ com], it gets checked most often
SkyeDS: tay
evile: I checked my freaks.net mail on Friday and found email from
Jenni that she'd sent before Thanksgiving. I felt bad...
evile: Apparently her 'new guy' Tony had some questions for me, ?
SkyeDS: done
evile: (probably TWC related and not anything exciting)
evile: And then to top it off, he came to first wednesday last week
specifically to see me, and I wasn't there because I was sick. yucko.
evile: I have an LJ filter I use to post stuff for just 1 person,
mostly sineater, because I'm never sure if he checks email. So I email
and then post it in my LJ "sineater" filter too.
SkyeDS: I don't know how many well adjusted poly-friendly mono-
partners there are in the Polys.
SkyeDS: but I would imagine that ya'll are a valuable resource
evile: or at least someone 'safe'
SkyeDS: I really need to experiment with the filter thing
SkyeDS: would be handy to have an sineater/sonar0m filter only
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: although M doesn't have an LJ, he could get an ID just for
teh sake of reading mine
evile: yup.
evile: Markus does that (Terri H's boyfriend)
SkyeDS: do filters come with the free accts or do I have to have a
paid acct?
evile: Nope, they're free. You go to the 'friends' section of the
icon bar and I think there's a thing that says 'edit custom friends
groups' under that.
evile: I have a free account, and I've got at least 7 custom filters
set up
SkyeDS: more toys to play with, whee :)
evile: yup
evile: I don't get as much response in my custom filters as I do to
just 'friends only' or 'public' but I think that's still OK.
SkyeDS: I'm always surprised anytime someone says anything to me
evile: heh. in my experience it takes a little while to build up
a 'readership' that comments.
SkyeDS: methinks if I ever say something to which I want/need
comments, I should probably ask for them.
evile: sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't. Kat was super hurt
a while back when she asked for feedback and didn't get any..
SkyeDS: I have a very small friends list. And all of my friends I
see online regularly. So I can ask for opinions in other forums.
evile: *nod* exactly.
SkyeDS: that Planned Parenthood site is really quite good.
evile: yeah. They do good work.
evile: Yahoo must be having issues today, all the email has been slow.
evile: Anyhoo, it's 4, time for me to get. Not a second too soon!
evile: Have a safe trip home! *hugs*