1358 ICQ w/skye

[evile]

 

Apr. 11, 2003

 

 

SkyeDS: <hugs> when you are back. I told Sineater I would relinquish the
phone to him shortly.
evile: hey :) I am guessing you got knocked offline by a phone call
last time we chatted?
SkyeDS: matter of fact yes, wanting an interview right now that
moment, for a fairly well paying litigation position, so I ran right
out of the house like the good little wage slave I am.
SkyeDS: I saw your post shortly afterwards though, and I completely
agree.
evile: How was the interview?

Hopefully everyone will settle down. I don't think Patrick realizes
how he comes across in print.
evile: I just posted info about a bellydance show at the Red Fez next
Friday on HFS in Chaos/off topic forum
SkyeDS: I don't think he does either. And he isn't an ass in person
at all. Unlike Gabe, who is supposedly nice in person but not in
print. He is not nice in person either, at least not to me, but he
has some beef with Arthur that I still don't udnerstand.
SkyeDS: because he has not once spoken to me in person.
evile: bizarre.
evile: I wouldn't take it personally...He is probably pretty popular,
gets caught up in visiting with people he already knows. Hardly
anybody at HFS says 'boo' to me. I figure they're all young/socially
retarded. It's not me :)
SkyeDS: I'm sure Gabe might be nice in person, if he bothered to
introduce himself to the people with whom he has peculiar hangups and
actually bothered to try and discuss them like a rational mature
adult person.
evile: Well...if he hasnt' mentioned any issues directly to YOU, I'd
go ahead and consider the source & the possibility of people stirring
up crap.
SkyeDS: yes, well, if you're going to flame me for something that
didn't have much if anything to do with me, on Chaos, in front of the
entire HFS, it would be considerate of you to at least introduce
yourself to me and bring your beef to my face, politely.
evile: Oh, my gosh, now I remember all that.... Old news. He's
probably forgotten all about it.
evile: Small circles--Ask Sineater if he remembers Marca & Bob from the
old Rocky Horror days. I met up with her and her new triad last night
at Poly dinner. It was....entertaining.
evile: *hapy dance* I also got someone to go to Scarby with me
tomorrow :)
SkyeDS: got knocked off again, sorry
evile: no biggie. figured as much :)
SkyeDS: anyway, Gabe was just a little tacky at the Northern Alliance
event.
evile: Directors Cut of Amadeus at the Paramount this Sun :) way cool!
SkyeDS: oh man, I would love to see that, and this weekend is already
too full as it is :( how long will it be there??
evile: Was that the recent one that had issues about the arrows?
SkyeDS: no no, the one up north at lake whitney. And I'm not going
to expend energy on it, he was just tacky, and showed his true
colors, to my mind.
evile: I guess I missed that one entirely...
SkyeDS: it was cold and rainy the whole day anyway.
evile: Was that the one Phyllis went to with you?
SkyeDS: Phyllis and Bob went even though I told them I thought it was
a bad idea, sonar0m made us late getting there, Phyllis bitched the
entire time we were there and then insisted we leave early. nodnods.
evile: bleh.
SkyeDS: I am about getting tot he point where I don't want passengers
when I go to an event, even though I like company when I drive. I
don't even want to caravan anymore.
evile: I hear ya.
evile: here ya go. the paramount's page was being stupid, hd to find
it at the chron's page, which is always stupid:
http://www.austinchronicle.com/gbase/Guides/Film?Film=oid%3A154059
SkyeDS: I got to see GWTW at the Paramount, first time I've ever seen
it on the big screen. Never saw Amadeus on the big screen either.
evile: it's 3 hours long. I'd have to catchthe 3:15 on Sunday if I
was going to see it...can't stay up late enough for the 7 pm show :P
SkyeDS: oh wait a minute ... duh... SUNDAY. <thinking>
evile: the web page dosn't give show times.TheChronicle says 3:15 and
7 pm Sunday. I am going to go by the box office this afternoon, I
think, and get it straight from them.
evile: I can probably make it there and back during my afternoon
break.
SkyeDS: damn. I promised Mimi I'd go to Drandmir Sunday. Trying to
figure out what time to leave to make the 7:00 show. Without the
horses it would be much easier of course. But I'm not taking the
hroses to the park Saturday, and I made that up to myself in my mind,
by planning to take the horses to Barad Duin visits Drandmir weekend
Sunday.
SkyeDS: I'll just have to figure this out. It is something to ponder
and probosculate upon :)
evile: I'll probably be at drandmir early-ish to loan out my robe
pattern to M. & then back to Austin for the 3:15, and then PNO.
I'll have to skip No KIdding's supper that night. I don't like it
when everything happens the same day.
evile: I need at least one more 'me' to do everything I want to do.
SkyeDS: I dont' understand how you handle your social life without a
secretary
evile: Taurus-Gemini cusp: 3 personalities for the price of 1. ;)
SkyeDS: ROFL point
SkyeDS: in being a double gemini, four for one, I think I need a
secretary :)
SkyeDS: things were easier when I had no life.
evile: yeah...you've got all the soical butterflies but no grouchy
organizer in there.
SkyeDS: I have Taurus in two rather important positions though,
Rising and Saturn, so it bugs me not to be organized
SkyeDS: until someone invents a day more than 24 hours long, or a way
to be in two places at one time, I just don't get to do everything I
want to.
evile: Having no life has it's points...but we're primates. We need
social time with other people. :) Well, maybe 4 against 1 is not
good odds for your poor little organizer-self :)
evile: I just got done with a sort of bad book, but it had an
interesting premise. It was _Kiln People_ by David Brin.
SkyeDS: oh? what premise?
evile: The basic premise of the story is that you can make 'copies'
of yourself in this special clay that go out and do everything you
want to do,then 'download' themselves back into the real body at the
end of the day. That would be SO COOL
SkyeDS: there's an RPG kind of like that tangentially, called
Paranoia, where you have like 10 computer clones of yourself.
evile: ooh, I used to larp paranoia in New Orleans with people on
drugs. It was...fun.
SkyeDS: there was an interesting premise like that in one of teh
Harry Potter books. Hermione was given an hour glass that allowed
her to be two places at once by reversing time. She attended a
double classload that way.
evile: I read the first couple of those. Didnt' see what the big
satan scare was all about. They seemd OK.
SkyeDS: "they teach witchcraft" was all bullshit as any educated
person who does their research could figure out for themselves, just
by asking any practitioner of magick who has read the books.
evile: Well, logic & common sense works OK too. Both in relatively
short supply among religious fundies of all brands.
SkyeDS: I wish my broom flew like that, without me throwing it at
someone, but it doesn't. My wand doesn't work that way either,
neither does my cauldron, and Arthur just isn't the same as an owl
familiar, ya know? <g>
evile: Yeah. That's why HP is called 'fiction'.

total non sequitur: one of the folks at poly dinner asked if I was
going to make her choose between X and Me. I said 'no way'. She
seemed really surprised by that.
SkyeDS: I hate that stuff, I hate it.
evile: Very grateful that X and I dont' have many friends in common
anymore, By Pace's reaction, I'm sure X is asking any mutual
acquaintances to do so.
SkyeDS: I got accused somewhat recently of having made someone choose
in the past on more than one occasion, and the accusation was
completely unfounded, existed solely in said someone's mistaken
impressions.
SkyeDS: poor Pace, I like Pace :(
evile: Pace is going thru enough without me creating a further burden
with stuipd X drama.
SkyeDS: with the change and all that I would think so.
evile: apparently Pace's friends and coworkers are using the wrong
pronouns and hurting Pace's feelings. I tried to put it in context of
people using English for the first time, so as to not take it
personally.
SkyeDS: I don't know why M lets her go to Poly dinners, he isn't
ever going to let her be Poly. Adn surely they are just "bad
influences"
SkyeDS: Sineater has a friend that was Jeremy up until recently and now
she's Audrey.
SkyeDS: no sex change, at 19 she decided to be a man and took
hormones, and just recently in the last few months decided to be a
woman again. One of three that is pursuing Sineater and making him
miserable. Who would have known that having three women interested
in him would make him miserable? lol.
evile: I don't think M is letting her do much of anything these
days. Play with fire, get burned. Poor poor X. (NOT!)...

Did y'all have an 'adjustment' period with the he/she thing? Or was
it pretty easy?
SkyeDS: doesn't seem to phase Sineater, and I don't think it would take
me long to adjust, because such things are not important to me.
evile: I thought Pace was just being silly & needed to get over
paceself, but then someone spelled my name with a C and I noticed my
reaction to that and got some sympathy/understanding of what Pace
must be feeling.
SkyeDS: I did that once for which I apologize, I did not stop to edit
myself as almost always I do
evile: It's silly...and I try not to be all irrational about it. But
I'm E with a K. C is not me...and it doesnn't matter phoenetically or
anything...but it bugs me. Silly. I am not as bad about it as I used
to be. It really doesn't matter :)
evile: Hopefully Pace will get to a similar point. Or will be a girl
long enough for everyone to just get used to it and say 'she'. It's
been a pretty recent thing. People just need some time.
SkyeDS: My parents used to get very annoyed when people call
me "Ondria" as opposed to "Andrea". But what I mean is, it isn't
hard for me to deal with what most consider fringe or abnormality or
whatever they call it, because it just doesn't figure in my thinking.
evile: *nods*
SkyeDS: if Pace is Him today and Her tomorrow, I try to honor what
ever Pace wants to be called, and that's pretty much that.
SkyeDS: I used nto to correct people for calling me a Wiccan because
I thought what difference does it make. When it started making a
difference (because there are huge differences, like the differences
between Baptists and Catholics), I started gently correcting people.
evile: Wish it was that easy for me. I am really trying. I mean, *I*
think it's silly, but if it matters to Pace and hurts paces'
feelings, I try to be sensitive to that.
evile: True about the Wicca/Strega thing. I mean, if you're gonna be
out, may as well be 'out' to the point of being able to educate
people out of their ignorance.
SkyeDS: I'm sure he's going through some amount of hormonal
biochemical insanity right now too, kidn of like PMS. So he's
probably not rational. Rationally I'm sure he knew what he was
letting himself in for, like all of us who are not "normal".
SkyeDS: should I refer to Pace as her from now on, btw? And will
there be a name change?
evile: *laughs* true dat!
evile: Pace has changed her name to Pace. (it was 'roland' but he
never went by it). And wants to be a her in 3rd person
evile: I guess the more I say 'her' the better I'll get used to it.
SkyeDS: thank you. that way I won't upset her worse, although I
don't know when I'll ever have the pleasure of her company again.
evile: Once Sweetie is employed again & our life is on an even keel,
we'll be throwing another party. And I am trying to get better about
inviting people to join me at diffferent things of interest.
SkyeDS: Sineater says Hey, how u, how u doin?
evile: Tired. Time change messed me up. Stayed up too late last nite.
But I'll live. *happy dance* SCARBY TOMORROW!!!
SkyeDS: he does the happy dance with you ;)
evile: funny mental picture, that.
SkyeDS: you have NO idea ROFL
evile: One of the folks from Poly Dinner last night is coming with me
& is totally cool with my arrival & departure plans.
SkyeDS: must be nice. This business of having my plans interfered
with by people I invited to come with, is rather new to me. It's
never been a problem before for whatever reason.
evile: Well, we'll see. It could turn out completely messed up.
Everyone gets to make at least one mistake with me :)
SkyeDS: I completely understand. One or two messups is one thing,
but for me it's been every weekend lately. It makes me grumpy and
antisocial.
evile: feh. That sucks!
SkyeDS: I am not paid to be a chauffeur or sex toy. So if I'm not
paid (and no one offers to contribute to gas, in addition to
completely screwing up the schedule every single weekend), then why
should I...
evile: True. I guess you get to put everyone on" final warning" & see
if they improve :)
SkyeDS: actually I tried to do that without even saying the words. I
simply said, I don't have the money to come get you or take you back,
so you'll have to drive yourself, I'm sorry. And left it at that.
SkyeDS: And where the Boatmans specifically were concerned, I have
left their travel arrangements strictly to Kim and Travis. Travis
gets paid by the DHS for it.
evile: Yeah, but that didnt' really give them the opportunity to do
better with you. :(

I didn't know that about Travis. I guess it makes better sense to let
the man do what h'es paid to..
SkyeDS: technically he isn't paid for driving them but he is paid to
caretake for them in their home 36 hours a week. And so it makes
sense for him to do the driving.
evile: Pace & I had a very deep conversation last night about giving
& receiving, and how it is natural to always be doing the giving, but
it creates a situation where an expectation is there, and then the
giver resents the expectation...but can't seem to accept when the
other person wants to give back. Something to ponder. esp. for me.
SkyeDS: plus, while my truck is more suited for carrying the scooter,
his car is easier for them to get into and out of, my truck, on its
big hauling tires, being very tall.
evile: Yeah. I can't imagine trying to get in & out of y'alls truck
with mobility problems.
SkyeDS: well, I am a giver by nature, I don't know how to say no
gracefully, and I get taken advantage of, and then when I finally
have to say, I'm sorry, I can't afford to keep this up, I simply
don't have the funds, people act all surprised.
evile: Yeah...but there's a point in the relationship where it hasn't
become unbalanced and burdensome YET, in which I suppose you'd need
to speak up and say "hey, can you chip in some gas $" or "I really
need you to be here when I asked you to, so we can get to ___ on
time"...If you dont' ask for what you need, people can't give it to
you.
SkyeDS: I think that's why people act so surprised. Because I don't
do that.
evile: You assume it's common courtesy, or common sense, or just
plain obvious ....but you have to ask. At least the first few times.
Make people aware that there is a give and take that needs to happen.
Pace made me very aware of this. I'm working on it myself.
SkyeDS: nodnod. Now that I've mentioned the gas thing, everyone is
much better about it. And the schedule thing will likely work itself
out too, when people get tired of being left behind because I leave
when I say I will, regardless.
evile: Yup.
SkyeDS: I actually calculated how much one trip costs me in gas (not
oil, insurance, maintenance) and showed the calculations to everyone.
evile: good plan.
SkyeDS: 114 miles, 12 miles to the gallon, 1.50 gallon = $10 trip
more or less.
evile: yeah, but it adds up. Esp. when y'all are not fully employed
as of yet.
SkyeDS: zactly
SkyeDS: it's cheaper to take the black truck, better gas mileage, but
it isn't comfortable to have passengers with us. yes there are back
seats, but no doors, and not even children are comfortable back there
for long.
evile: yeah.
SkyeDS: the black truck is over 8 years old now and isn't falling
apart, I'm pleased. I do want when we are employed to lease a little
fuel efficient something for work commuting though. Do you
recommend your leasing agent?
evile: I don't think he is in business anymore, to be honest. The
last few times I've called him, I haven't reached a human being and
nobody 's called me back. So...no.
evile: Apple leasing was about $40 more a month for teh same car, BUT
they're still in business and you get free car washes & oil changes
during the term of your lease. They were scumbags, but they're well-
established and such.
SkyeDS: wow. How are you going to handle the end of your lease? and
how do you handle your payments now?
evile: Y'all have dealt with more scummy car people than I have, so
you'd probably be able to get a better deal than I did. Plus Sineater
will gladly play the heavy & help with that.
evile: The lease is thru bank of america. They bill me directly and I
pay them. When my lease runs out, if nobody has contacted me, I'm
leaving it in teh driveway with the keys in it.
SkyeDS: <g> you should ahve seen the expression on the salesman's
face when I bought the white truck. It was Halloween, I was in the
corset dressed like a cat (I don't know if you've seen the pics or
not), and I had Arthur with me. And I was completely unlike most
women when they go to look.
evile: hee.
SkyeDS: I called him, told him what I wanted, asked him to have
everything on the lot that applied ready in two hours for me to test
drive. Test drove one, said this is it, it took fifteen minutes, and
came back with cash three days later. Talked him down 3K on blue
book, he thought he'd get it back on trade in, and after the papers
were signed, I said, what trade in?
evile: If he just assumed it and didn't put it in the paperwork, his
own damn stupid fault.
SkyeDS: apparently most women test drive everything in sight for like
three hours, and don't know what they want, and fuss over color and
interior and sun roof and such, and can't ever make up their minds.
evile: Hee. That's exactly what I did, actually :P

Next time I get a car, I'm going to ask Sweetie to be my 'heavy'. I was
all newage woman of the millenium on this last one & probably got
hosed as a result.
SkyeDS: well, when you're a woman hauling horses, and men, and
children and a bird, you have different priorities. Color, interior
and other such don't really figure into it. Other than I like to
have power stuff.
SkyeDS: Tom and Tracie do that, they've refined it to an art.
SkyeDS: when they bought their dualie, Tracie acted like she wanted a
car.
evile: I tried not to harsh Pace's mellow, but I really hate the way
women, esp. single women, are treated in general by society. I
wouldn't change my gender or anything, but I certainly wouldn't
willingly subject myself to it if I didn't have to.
SkyeDS: Tom acted like he was the one who wanted the truck. So the
salesman bent over backwards and practically kissed his own ass good
bye, making concessions to get Tracie to agree to a truck instead of
a car. "Please don't throw me in that thar briar patch" sez brer
rabbit, LOL.
evile: That's cool.
SkyeDS: all sorts of ways to work it but it does usually work well
with a two person team.
SkyeDS: Sineater and I are prepared to work out some team scheme if we
have to, when my working alone ceases to be effective.
SkyeDS: actually when we bought the red truck we did it as a two
person team.
evile: I just hate playing games. Ask for what you want, get a yes-
no, go from there. I dont' like being manipulated, I don't like
manipulating people to get what I want.
SkyeDS: me neither. I was pleased that straightforward, by myself
worked well with the white truck, which is a very good truck.
evile: Speaking of which, what costs $1500 that someone like X
would need and not feel comfortable asking for straight out? I'm
almost done processing that whole mess, but this one puzzle remains.
SkyeDS: I'm a little lost. X asked you for $1500, without telling
you why?
evile: Well, she didn't actually ever straight out ASK and give me a
chance to honestly say 'yes' or 'no'. She told me two very sad, very
improbable stories in which the punch line was she needed $1500.
SkyeDS: there are some people who couldn't ask straight up for a
glass of water if they were dying of thirst in the Sahara. And if
she couldn't straight up ask you of all people, I have NO clue.
SkyeDS: <is a minnow, does not understand the mind of sharks and
piranhas
evile: Okay then. I am just going to give up on that one, i think. My
guess is that it was some kind of procedure associated with her
weight loss, like skin-tightening or soemthing. But i have no idea
what that costs.
SkyeDS: I can't imagine why she would feel like there's anything in
the world she couldn't tell you, though.
evile: Or maybe she was trying to get me to bankroll her next Hawaii
trip. *shrug*
SkyeDS: ok, but why would either of those things be unmentionable?
evile: she had gotten very secretive there at the end. She said it
was because I'm so 'changable' and 'judgemental'. So she was always
approaching thngs obliquely rather than just coming out and asking me
or telling me anything. Hindsight is 20/20...I never noticed it at
the time.
SkyeDS: I don't understand oblique (quite obviously to anyone who's
known me for more than five minutes, probably)
evile: Other than to get a little 'twinge' and know that she was
trying to manipulate me rather than be honest. Which, as you know,
makes me dig in my heels and become very untractable.
SkyeDS: I don't even think I could ask my parents for $1500. It just
isn't in me. For any reason.
SkyeDS: Even though I suspect if I said I was moving home for
financial reasons my parents would have bought me Jim's ranch when he
sold it. ;-)
evile: hee.
SkyeDS: I think, from things you've related before, that some people
assume you are made of much disposable money
evile: So totally not true :) But it's nice to know that I give off
prosperous vibes :)
SkyeDS: you do give off prosperous vibes. But one does not become
prosperous by throwing money about indiscriminately.
SkyeDS: did you see that cirque de soleil is bringing their Alegria
show to Austin?
evile: Yup! at teh old airport right up the street from our house! We
are going for our bday present :)
SkyeDS: awesome birthday present :) I am still mulling the birthday
thing over. And of course anniversary is the week before.
evile: yeah.
evile: I remember I used to know how to have fun without $. I am
remembering bits & pieces of how to do that as the need arises :)
SkyeDS: default every year is Scarbie or Schlitterbahn. I would like
to take the horses and the bird out, and that requires two more
people, and sleeping arrangements (always fun).
evile: yeah.
SkyeDS: actually camping somehwere I could swim might be nice.
SkyeDS: and I am still pondering the lack of a housewarming type
party.
evile: Yup. by may-june you will want water
SkyeDS: you could open a sideline of Magpies and have a party giving
business. I can't think of anyone better at it than you.
evile: *grinz* thank you :)
evile: there is actually money in event planning & i am sure I'd be
good at it. It's just a matter of acquiring the
reputation/marketing/etc, which I SUCK at.
SkyeDS: and you could also have a home and garden type sideline.
SkyeDS: Mimi just got a job as an event planner for either Steck or
Harcourt, she's VERY happy.
evile: That's awesome.
SkyeDS: that reminds me, I am slated to play Priestess of Athena at
midreign. I have been informed I need to sing. I have no idea what
to sing that is Athena-esque, and I really dont' want to sing a
capella, and I am having trouble finding sources for karaoke stuff.
SkyeDS: <doesn't like singing by myself and never has>
evile: There are lots of BD folks who like bardic, right? Put up a
few announcements in the various mail lists, forums & see who you can
find to help :)
SkyeDS: I already asked my known bardic friends, Kim, Aislinn and
Catrysa for help. Kim replied, the other two haven't yet. If all
else fails I guess I will order a cd online, hope it gets here in
time, maybe do Mummer's Song, which my voice is not really suited to,
and humiliate myself...like what else is new.
evile: You are a lot harder on yourself than other people will be;
you've been a professional at this. Do something you enjoy, have fun
with it, don't worry about it :)
SkyeDS: I had no problem singing a capella, command performance, when
Aeris and I did duets. Now Aeris is gone, they want me by myself, or
they think they do. They really don't, and they just don't know it.
evile: Well, this'll learn em ;P
SkyeDS: I suppose I might ought to stop into Celebration and NM and
see if there are resources/suggestions there, at least for what might
be appropriate.
evile: *nod* that's an awesome idea.
SkyeDS: if Sineater finds the program he's talking about that will take
lead vocals out of tracks, I can do anything I want, without having
to hunt a karaoke cdg.
evile: That would be cool.
SkyeDS: <wonders who put the idea into Mimi's head that I shoudl
sing, as well as give an invocation and have an altar> I told Mims,
altar and invocation and robes, no big deal, can do that in my sleep.
SkyeDS: and then she said, oh yeah, and find something to sing to. I
was like, um?
evile: Well, it was her idea. Make her do some of the legwork & find
you a song.
SkyeDS: woudl be really nice if I could carry off Mummer's Song
<wistfully thinking>
SkyeDS: ya know, I might ought to email my baby sister, she's got a
whole host of pagan music, and her husband is a Celtic flautist.
evile: It's tricky, and I dont' sing or really remember any of my
instrumental training,b ut I think you have to change keys & stuff.
evile: there ya go.
SkyeDS: if you have a karaoke machine, you can change the keys.
SkyeDS: I don't have, but Aeris left his with his mom.
evile: I'm sure you'd be allowed to borrow it if you asked :) Since
it's for the good of the Kingdom and all.
SkyeDS: nods, so if all else fails I spend way too much money on
having a karaoke cdg delivered online, use it once <shrug>
SkyeDS: will ask Sineater to spend Sat and Sun at work trying to find
that program that he says he can remove vocals with. If not, then
first thing Monday morning, I order a cdg and hope it gets here by
Friday.
evile: It's always possible there's an instrumental version of a song
you could find & sing to?
SkyeDS: Best Buy has karaoke, but Loreena McKennitt seems hard to
come by other than online.
evile: that's true.
SkyeDS: I have pored throught he bardbook, and am still racking my
brains for what I know that is period *and* Athena like.
SkyeDS: the jury is still out on that one
evile: Yeah..that's tough.
evile: I need to take a potty break. Feel free to 'hang up' while i'm
gone if Sineater needs the phone.
SkyeDS: k thx
evile: back. :)
SkyeDS: wb :)
evile: much bettah
evile: dang it. I keep meaning to bring up my little 'turn your
crafts into cash' book and copy it for Sineater.
SkyeDS: lol well it will keep, it isn't life threatening
evile: I've had it on my 'list' for too long now and I keep
forgetting. It'll be a good excuse to start cleaning up my work
room,too.
SkyeDS: nods
evile: I'm pretty sure I know where I put it...just a matter of
cleaning up the clutter enough to get to that corner :)
SkyeDS: Sineater and I both have our own work rooms now, which is cool
evile: I can't tell you how much stress that removed from my
relationship with Tom... :) It's just great to have your own space!
SkyeDS: plus now when one is annoyed, one can always tell him, oh, go
to your room :P
evile: hee.
evile: He's in the process of getting his work room cleaned out &
finally installing the ceiling fan I bought for his 'housewarming'
present.
SkyeDS: how long ago was that, lol
evile: about a month after we bought the house...however many years
ago that was!
evile: I've learned better than to nag... :P
SkyeDS: nods complete agreement
evile: Things will get done when/if he decides to do them, not a
second before. Why get myself upset? I just go on about my happy
little life.
SkyeDS: I have been on a kick lately of, if one of you three doesn't
want to do whatever, I am a big girl, I'll do it by myself. And if
whatever requires more than just myself, I'm sure I can find someone
who wants to if you don't. I like this independence thing, it can be
cool.
evile: yeah, it is.
SkyeDS: regarding his room, I told him he can do whatever he wants as
long as it does not do structural damage (walls, carpet etc)
evile: Sounds reasonable :)

Did I tell you I got roped into giving a workshop at Poly Big Fun?
AAA!
SkyeDS: any workshop you give anywhere should be a blast :)
SkyeDS: I found a goddess song meant to be sung to Amazing Grace,
which is an easy enough tune even a capella. It was written for a
moon goddess but maybe I could rework it.
evile: You did? cool! As long as it isn't the usual monotone mournful
pagan thing, I think it'll be fine.

I hope my workshop turns out OK. It's a little nerve-wracking. My
soapmaking class for Xs scouts was less than stellar.
SkyeDS: well, I don't know, but it probably didn't have anything to
do with anything under your control.
evile: Nice of you to say so. I think it probably had to do with not
being used to explaining my process. Like some costume-folk know how
to sew so well they leave out steps when they explain how to do
something...
SkyeDS: I keept elling people this when they ask for horseback or
piano lessons. With regard to horses, I cannot teach that which I
was born with inherently, because I was never taught. Tracie says
she had to take lessons to do what I just do.
SkyeDS: ditto piano. Yes I took lessons but much of my ability is
just innate, and since I wasn't taught for example how to play by
ear, or taught my sense of rhythm, how can I teach them to someone
else?
evile: YOu'd think with a recipe right there it would be easy to walk
someone else thru.But there's a timing thing that is just...something
you learn by doing a number of times.

(on the sewing thing: I've been futzing with a muffin cap Liz
explained how to make. Sure I'm missing something here...)
SkyeDS: people are wont to say "those who can do and those who can't
teach" which is bullshit. Teaching requires not only the ability to
do, but the ability to impart that ability to someone else, a magic
in and of itself, I think.
evile: Very true.
SkyeDS: can't teach anything that has to be inherently intuitive,
like anything having to do with timing or what looks or feels right
(bread, pasta, etc)
evile: Yeah...you just learn by doing, and by fucking up and doing
again...But there are some observations you can share that might be
helpful, *if* you are yourself aware of these minute things that you
just take for granted. It's hard to have that kind of awareness & be
able to pass it on.
SkyeDS: I have asked Gramma I dont' remember how many times now to
write down the recipe for biscuits and chocolate sauce. It's very
simple, few ingredients, but the problem is, everything is just
measured till "it looks right"
evile: yeah. My grandmother & great grandmother did that. Lynn & Mom
have their cookbooks, but nothing tastes the way they did it.
evile: I think for my PBF workshop I'll have stuff already made to
play with and recipe lists and just make 1 or 2 items 'on the spot'.
SkyeDS: already made stuff to play with is cool (witness the fun of
play dough and finger paints :)
evile: Yup :) And then if I fucked up the rest of the presentation
totally,nobody would notice because they'd all be busy playing. win-
win.
SkyeDS: good idea (says one whose eyes are still in her fingertips)
evile: The guy planning PBF this year is totally new at it. I want to
help him out as much as I can without making myself crazy. :)
evile: Pace has to be in a wedding that weekend, in which she was
asked to be a groomsman back when she was a boy. Pace is a little
distressed about this, but I told her that tux jackets can be sexy
with the right accessories.
SkyeDS: I love mine, and you look awesome in yours. I'm sure if
reminded Pace would say you look awesome in yours too and feel
better. Nobody accuses me of looking like a man in my tux, and I
surmise, nobody says you do either.
evile: *lol* I usually get 'free the twins!' more than I get 'hello,
sir', if that's what you mean.
evile: I'll probably wear that to GWNN on Sat.
SkyeDS: I was invited to go to gwynn sat too.
evile: Might as well, if you're already in town. It's pretty boring,
but might be more fun if you know a lot of the people. Which I don't,
as of yet.
SkyeDS: Kaleon invited me to go, and I said I would. I am afraid it
is going to be uncomfortable between the two of you...and I don't
want to make either of you unhappy.
evile: I am a grownup and I know how to be civiliized.
SkyeDS: I don't doubt that. What makes me uncomfortable is that I
have made peace with both of you, and I feel guilty about that for
some reason.
evile: It is up to Kaleon and myself to behave ourselves, you are not
responsible for our feelings or our behavior.
evile: Whether or not you like it, you are not the boss of me :)
evile: Or Kaleoon, for that matter.
SkyeDS: somehow I figure, you wouldn't appreciate me making peace
with him, nor him me making peace with you.
evile: Oh please!!!
evile: This is just like the whole deal of Pace wondering if I was
going to make him pick sides. No no no. I am a grownup. You are a
grownup. You have every right to your own friendships & relationships
and I have no right to make that kind of demand on you. Same with you
for me, and Kaleon for you/me.
evile: If someone attempts impoliteness or side-forcing on me, they
will get a smackdown. If people are polite and adult, they will get
teh same courtesy from me.
evile: dammit. I said 'him' about Pace.
SkyeDS: <looks relieved> it wasnt' that I thought anyone would make
demands, it's that I am overly sensitive I think to what other people
think about me, and making other people feel badly.
evile: You dont' *make* anybody feel anything. They are responsible
for their own feelings.
SkyeDS: it might be my overdeveloped sense of loyalty, telling me
that I am being disloyal, to both of you.
evile: If I have a problem with anything you do/say, it is up to me
to deal with it appropriately to the situation. You may trust me to
do so
SkyeDS: I think that's it. I think I feel like I'm being disloyal,
times two.
evile: I am not asking or demanding 'loyalty' of you in this
situation. If Kaleon is, that is for you and him to resolve.
SkyeDS: nods. I feel better, thank you :)
evile: In GWNN, as with any group of people, there are going to be
people you like and people you dont and people who don't like you.
That's just life. Everyone has to deal with that kind of situation.
SkyeDS: I don't know why I even agreed to go. There's no telling
what people are already going to think given no telling what they've
been told.
evile: *shrugs* it's up to you to decide if the shared interests and
benefits from belonging to this group are worth the
drama/politics/gossip/nonsense. Same as with HFS, I guess.
SkyeDS: good point.
SkyeDS: and I automatically tend to assume people think badly of me,
because of past history and reputation.
evile: Well..I don't know what to tell you on that. Just assume that
people don't know you or anything about you until they say otherwise,
I guess.
SkyeDS: won't be the first group of people I wandered unwittingly
into who know all about me according to someone else of course. And
the last time, not a single one of them betrayed in any way what they
had been told or even that they had been told anything at all.
evile: I dont' know if you got disconnected before I told you about
Marca. She is an OLD OLD Rocky Horror person, who I knew by
reputation rather than by association. She used to be married to a
guy named Bob. Say the words 'bob and marca' to Sineater and see how he
reacts...
evile: Annnyway, Marca was at poly dinner with her new triad last
night, and I didn't mention the rocky thing (other than to say that
her name was familiar and was she the Rocky Marca), or any of the
nasty stories I heard, or pass judgement on her based on other
peoples' stories, and she turned out to be a pleasant dinner
companion.
evile: The people who are immature and stuipd enough to believe
hearsay without judging for themselves...you probably dont' want to
be friends with anyway.
SkyeDS: she might have been unpleasant before and grown out of it
evile: It's possible.
SkyeDS: nods, that is true, I have told others that.
evile: it's their loss if they dont' want to give you a chance and
find out for themselves if you're worthwhile, ya know?
SkyeDS: true dat
evile: It's hurtful to be judged by 'the old you' or by gossip,
but...this is a risk of hanging out with people. Seems like you can
take the risk or you can have no life.
SkyeDS: I'm a big girl, I can take whatever comes my way for 2.5
hours anyway, good or bad.
SkyeDS: and I could always wear my new boots and take a whip :P
evile: Yup. :) and who knows, you might actually have fun. Or you
might see people you recognize from other circles. Never know until
you try.
evile: and if you hate it, you can always leave. Or you can decide
not to go again. No biggie. From what I understand, a lot of the
older members just go to the play parties and never go to the munch
anymore
SkyeDS: I'm curious about the play parties. But I know it would make
Kaleon uncomfortable to have me there, even if I never hung out with
him. I think the parties embarass him as much as he enjoys them.
evile: I'd say that's Kaleon's tough shit.
SkyeDS: and it is a good thing that I gave up on trying to train
sonar0m to be a Master. Because all hell would break loose if I took
him to a munch, much less a play party.
evile: But I'm just mean that way. I do what I want and if it puts
someone else in a wad...too bad. Why spoil my fun?
SkyeDS: nods
evile: I mean, it's not like I'd go to Xs house and party on her
front yard, but GWNN or Poly or HFS are 'common ground'/neutral
territory as far as I'm concerned. If someone has a problem with me
being there, tough rockos.
SkyeDS: yes, but it could be seen from the perspective of, well Skye
didn't have any interest in either gwynn or austin polys until either
Kaleon or evilE started going first.
evile: *shrug* so what?
evile: Maybe I wouldn't have had any interest in the polys until you
mentioned you were polyamorous & I got curious. So what if I beat you
to a meeting? silly.
SkyeDS: yes and in that light, if I remember correctly, I was
interested in the subculture long before he was, in the mental aspect
of it more than the physical, but still.
evile: And GWNN and Austin Poly wouldn't be so cool if it weren't for
people saying "I know this great bunch of folk, come meet my
friends"...so what if a got there before b?
SkyeDS: and, if I make things uncomfortable, someone else can leave,
why should it be me.
evile: Yup. Everyone needs to grow the hell up and accept
responsibility for their own actions. if one person in a room of 100
gets you all in a swivet, that's YOUR problem. Like there isnt'
anybody else you could talk to, or anywhere else in the room you
could go. Please.
SkyeDS: you're absolutely right.
evile: Yes I am :) Don't you just hate that? ;P
SkyeDS: not at all :P~~~
evile: hee.
evile: Well, I'm outta here in, like, 15 minutes. Time to go stick
stuff in other people's baskets, I think...
SkyeDS: yep, I need to leave too, and I am not dressed and have
gathered nothing.
SkyeDS: <hugs> travel safely and have a nice time at Scarbie, wind to
thy wings :)
evile: *hugs* Take care & maybe see ya tomorrow :)