1307unsent email to J

[evile]

 

 

Mar. 24, 2003

riddle me this...

Okay, I know you don't have time for this and all, but...I just had
to share.

Has it occurred to you that in this situation, they manipulated you
and me into doing and thinking exactly what they wanted us to do and
think? And screwed us out of a friendship in the process? I have
been on the losing side before and I will probably be again, but that
doesn't mean I have to like it.

Anyway...here you have 3 people you're dealing with:

Number One is someone you have history with, but a lot of it is
unhappy history and #1 has proven to be untrustworthy in the past, by
hacking your email, by lying to you about her marital relationship,
by manipulating your behavior in numerous situations.

Number Two is also someone you have some history with, who is
basically either a victim or an enforcer/white knight to #1. #2 will
do, say, or believe pretty much anything in order to keep peace with
#1.

Number 3 is someone you don't have much history with, but someone
whose history you may know due to #3's various conflicts with #1,
which #1 may have shared with you via *forwarded email* (possibly
with comments such as: what do you think of this, what do you think I
should do/say?, etc...is this ringing a bell for you???)

All you know of #3 is what #3 has shared of the past with #1 and #2,
all you know is that #3 wants to minimize interaction and conflict
with #1 in order to try and maintain some sort of connection with #2.

#3 shows up when she says she will, makes plans and follows through
with them, and generally shows herself to be reliable and
trustworthy, at least on the surface, getting-to-know-you level that
you'd reached by the time everything hit the fan.

And yet...when the shit hits the fan and this whole question of who
betrayed whom & who you should believe comes to light, who do you
choose to believe? The person who has betrayed and shat on you time
and again, or the person who had demonstrated only goodwill and
reliability to you the whole time you'd been friends..?

I don't know about you, but I *hate* being manipulated, I hate it
when liars win. And it pisses me off that you're letting them win. I
feel bad for you. I hope that at some point you'll stand up, dust
yourself off, and decide to live on your own terms, without being
somebody elses puppet toy.

It hurts my feelings that you believe I'd share your confidences with
Sineater or Skye_ds, but you're right, there isn't anything I can do if
that's what you choose to believe. But...look at the past behavior of
the people involved, look at who uses which fighting tactics, and
tell me which person is most likely to behave in the way I have
apparently been characterized as behaving.

I didn't believe you had forwarded all that stuff to Skye_ds/Sineater,
especially not intentionally, and I wanted to hear your side from
you. But the more you avoided me, the more I started asking
myself "Well, how well did I really know Kaleon?" and guessing that by
being involved with #1 for so long, maybe you'd picked up some of her
dirty tricks. I couldn't figure out WHY you would have forwarded my
mail to her or Sineater, it would not have gotten you back in her good
graces or really done you any good at all...so I really wanted to
talk it out with you.

But instead, you chose to believe the worst of me and didn't want to
hear my side of things or clarify the email Sineater forwarded to you
(again, someone else's favorite trick, not mine)

You'll live a long time before you get to the point of life where I"m
at...when you're young you can throw away friends and friendships,
because there are always new people to meet, always new friends to
replace the ones you toss away. When you get to be my age, friends
aren't so easy to find or to keep. You don't just leave them without
a word and believe the worst thing anybody tells you about them. YOu
don't have enough friends to afford that kind of waste.

You aren't the loser in this situation. You let them win. There is a
difference. I'm really sorry that we got manipulated like this & that
apparently we're not going to rise above & try to be better than
that. Oh well. I can't change your mind, we probably won't be able to
trust each other again, and that's too bad. I hate it when liars win.