Hit a wall. Done. All out of give-a-damn.
Mar. 3rd, 2014 04:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
evile03-03-2014 at 03:41 PM (56 Views)
This morning, I reached deep into the well of my soul and found....nothing. No more caring or concern for my brother, no more love, no more tears, no more anything. I am just tired and done with caring more about someone than he does about himself. If he doesn't mind being beaten up, beaten down, trashed, used, kicked around and crapped on, then why should I care that someone is doing that to him? If he won't get up and help himself, why should I want to help him? If that's what he's chosen, if that's the life he thinks he deserves, then he can have it. I'm done. Every time I try and care, it gets kicked back into my face. Some of the people even here in this forum can't see that every step of the way on their march through Hell, there was someone, somewhere out there who was crying and bleeding for them, someone who cared, but they were so caught up in the Great and Wonderful Crazy Bitch Show they couldn't be bothered to see what it was doing to them, to the people who cared about them, so busy drowning they couldn't see the life rafts and people reaching out to try and save them. I've cared and tried until I'm bled white. Done.
My brother who is married to TQ and I had a very 'interesting' conversation at one point during middle brother's marriage to The Rubber Pig; he observed quite clearly the dysfunction in our brother's relationship while simultaneously being quite blind to the fact that his own marriage was abusive and unhealthy. At one point in our conversation, he angrily said something like "Why doesn't anyone go in there and get him OUT of that crazy sick relationship???!?"....I bit my tongue so hard it fuckin' bled, people
What I finally managed to say was something along the lines of "Our brother is an adult, he has made this choice freely and willingly, it's not on other people to 'rescue' him from the choices he has made. We told him what we thought of the relationship, we mentioned red flags and warning signs, and he made the choice to be with her anyway, it's his choice, we will be here when or if he decides he wants out,"
I've also told my brother AND TQ both "I don't like the way you treat each other, I think your relationship is very unhealthy. I think that if you can't be together without violence, you should probably be divorced," and it didn't do a damn thing except get me booted out of both of their lives.
There are a handful of other women on this site who have stories just like mine, of telling their son, brother, best friend that their 'beloved' is abusive and evil, and we get thrown out with the garbage every damn time we open our mouths and tell the truth.
I get tired of hittin' the curb so hard, ya know? If people we love want to stick it in the crazy, theres's not a whole lot we can do about it, being that they are demonstrably otherwise sane and functional adults.
(incidentally, my ex left me for a psycho who was breaking up with him every other day, drove him to consider suicide before he'd even moved out of my house to be with her, a woman who threw a giant hissy fit in public when a mutual friend happened to mention my name in front of her. He had a choice to be a faithful and equal partner to a sane woman who was a responsible wage earner, bill payer, considerate of his needs and feelings, or a younger crazy hottie and he picked the crazy. You can't save people from themselves, you just can't.)
I'm done.
evile - 03-24-2014 09:38 AM
I like this article very much.
https://www.notsalmon.com/2014/03/20/havehad-toxic-relationships-kind-read-now/
This morning, I reached deep into the well of my soul and found....nothing. No more caring or concern for my brother, no more love, no more tears, no more anything. I am just tired and done with caring more about someone than he does about himself. If he doesn't mind being beaten up, beaten down, trashed, used, kicked around and crapped on, then why should I care that someone is doing that to him? If he won't get up and help himself, why should I want to help him? If that's what he's chosen, if that's the life he thinks he deserves, then he can have it. I'm done. Every time I try and care, it gets kicked back into my face. Some of the people even here in this forum can't see that every step of the way on their march through Hell, there was someone, somewhere out there who was crying and bleeding for them, someone who cared, but they were so caught up in the Great and Wonderful Crazy Bitch Show they couldn't be bothered to see what it was doing to them, to the people who cared about them, so busy drowning they couldn't see the life rafts and people reaching out to try and save them. I've cared and tried until I'm bled white. Done.
My brother who is married to TQ and I had a very 'interesting' conversation at one point during middle brother's marriage to The Rubber Pig; he observed quite clearly the dysfunction in our brother's relationship while simultaneously being quite blind to the fact that his own marriage was abusive and unhealthy. At one point in our conversation, he angrily said something like "Why doesn't anyone go in there and get him OUT of that crazy sick relationship???!?"....I bit my tongue so hard it fuckin' bled, people
What I finally managed to say was something along the lines of "Our brother is an adult, he has made this choice freely and willingly, it's not on other people to 'rescue' him from the choices he has made. We told him what we thought of the relationship, we mentioned red flags and warning signs, and he made the choice to be with her anyway, it's his choice, we will be here when or if he decides he wants out,"
I've also told my brother AND TQ both "I don't like the way you treat each other, I think your relationship is very unhealthy. I think that if you can't be together without violence, you should probably be divorced," and it didn't do a damn thing except get me booted out of both of their lives.
There are a handful of other women on this site who have stories just like mine, of telling their son, brother, best friend that their 'beloved' is abusive and evil, and we get thrown out with the garbage every damn time we open our mouths and tell the truth.
I get tired of hittin' the curb so hard, ya know? If people we love want to stick it in the crazy, theres's not a whole lot we can do about it, being that they are demonstrably otherwise sane and functional adults.
(incidentally, my ex left me for a psycho who was breaking up with him every other day, drove him to consider suicide before he'd even moved out of my house to be with her, a woman who threw a giant hissy fit in public when a mutual friend happened to mention my name in front of her. He had a choice to be a faithful and equal partner to a sane woman who was a responsible wage earner, bill payer, considerate of his needs and feelings, or a younger crazy hottie and he picked the crazy. You can't save people from themselves, you just can't.)
I'm done.
evile - 03-24-2014 09:38 AM
I like this article very much.
https://www.notsalmon.com/2014/03/20/havehad-toxic-relationships-kind-read-now/
