found this poem on the internetz

 it's not exact to my experience, of course, but evokes similar feels. (and this is reason #200074 why I did not have or want kids. And, yes, people can love you and still be damaged and harmful and toxic as fuck.  "just because someone doesn't love you the way you want/ need to be loved doesn't mean they aren't loving you the best they can/ the only way they know how,"....and it fucking sucks.  For everyone.

======================

Your Mother did not heal 

her childhood wounds

 

She repeated the cycle

and inflicted the same pain she endured

 

She chose her comfort of toxicity,

her ego, her self righteousness.

 

Kept the "blood" family close

even if they hurt her daughter.

 

The saddest part is,

She would do it all over again

in the name of "we did our best". 

 

- Divi Maggo