dreams

 last two nights in dreamland have been pretty shitty.  yesterday morning, I woke up from a dream where I was having a meal or coffee with my friend Rio, then we noticed that Thax was at another table, sort of obscured by some big thing (like a brewery tank?) At first we were all, "aww, cute coincidence, my husband is here, too" and then I peeked all the way round and saw his whole table and he was sitting with a younger blonde woman. He explained that he was just helping her out by paying for her apartment for awhile.  At that point I felt they were having an affair and I calmly and cheerfully said "Oh, so since you're paying for her place to live, you can go live there too. Give me your house key, please," and I just took his housekey and left with Rio. I was mad but I didn't make any kind of drama, just got his key and left. Was thinking to myself that we'd have to work out details of him picking up and moving all his stuff out of my house at some point but  I was ready and Ok....at some point, Thax changed from being Thax to being this guy I dated when I was 21, a loser named Joe....  (back in RL, Joe was actually sleeping with someone while we dated, many years later he sent me a photo of his wife and son and some quick  math caused me to realize that he knocked her up while we were together. ick. Dodged a bullet.) Anyhoo....that was unpleasant, woke me up feeling bad and sick.

last night I was...somewhere? hotel? house?  It was a party? someplace kind of cluttered and dirty, talking with my ex friend X. Her two older kids were married and having kids of their own, but all living together in this dirty place. X's husband M was there and giving me the stinkeye and saying random mean things whenever he walked by. X was also pregnant. I was either telling or texting my aunt about the pregnancy as I was leaving and telling her that having a baby at 53 is a bad idea, the kid would probably be disabled in some way....and then there was something about flying on a plane and talking to someone at a service counter about losing my suitcase, apparently I hadn't checked it properly or labeled it properly or something....and I was hoping that the tag with my name, address, and phone number would help the hotel/airline / someone to get the suitcase back to me. But since it was lost on my way home, I wasn't that worried because I had clothing and toiletries at home.  Anyway, I was mad at X for being so dumb as to get pregnant in her early 50s, and having a dirty messy place where her whole family lived and nobody bothered to keep it tidy or have any kind of home routine....


so anyway...anxiety dreams, I guess. Maybe fallout from spending time with my widowed friend...grief and trauma. 

I really need to get my shit together, get my death stuff squared away, and start a new job.

I have a final interview pending for this week, the recruiter is setting up a time for me to talk with the employer. 

I've been keeping a normal schedule; up in the morning, walk dogs, breakfast and coffee, then job hunting and such. Probably ought to clean house.