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Got an email from a friend who wanted to reconnect. She lost her mom last year and I guess it's taken some time to crawl out of that hole.
Here is what I wrote but I'm not going to send it. Too heavy. Too awful.
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Thanks for the message. I'm glad you're learning and growing through your loss. I am sure your mom's big personality and great presence left a big hole when she passed.
My stepdad died end of Sept. last year. My mom has some kind of dementia, she says it's alzheimers but it's more like Bruce Willis' aphasia, to me. She recognizes people but has limited verbal abilities, can't read, write or type or use a phone or computer. She is still in Greencastle, IN but since my stepdad passed, there's no family nearby. My sister lives in Bloomington, IN, about an hour away. We are talking about moving her to a place in TX that offers hospice rather than skilled nursing. Apparently TX hospice rules are a little more flexible and you don't have to be dying of something to be a candidate for hospice in TX. My sister is wanting a place that will be sensitive to making my mom's life pleasant but not extending it. Mom is going through bouts of starving herself but then her body doesn't let her finish the job. Mom's been suicidal for most of my life. Her last attempt was in Feb or so of 2023 and then she lost her verbal abilities/ability to drive/ability to type, etc. sometime after that. Possibly an effect of the OD or possibly long covid or possibly just...shit happens. My sister suggests we do a 'girls trip' [Mom, her sister my aunt L, my sister H & her daughter E] via RV - Indiana to the wild mustang place in S. Dakota that my mom has supported over the last couple decades, to see the horses in person, then take mom to TX to her new hospice home. It's still in the talking phase, no plans as of yet. We will need to plan it when my niece E is not in school.
Here is what I wrote but I'm not going to send it. Too heavy. Too awful.
=====================
Thanks for the message. I'm glad you're learning and growing through your loss. I am sure your mom's big personality and great presence left a big hole when she passed.
My stepdad died end of Sept. last year. My mom has some kind of dementia, she says it's alzheimers but it's more like Bruce Willis' aphasia, to me. She recognizes people but has limited verbal abilities, can't read, write or type or use a phone or computer. She is still in Greencastle, IN but since my stepdad passed, there's no family nearby. My sister lives in Bloomington, IN, about an hour away. We are talking about moving her to a place in TX that offers hospice rather than skilled nursing. Apparently TX hospice rules are a little more flexible and you don't have to be dying of something to be a candidate for hospice in TX. My sister is wanting a place that will be sensitive to making my mom's life pleasant but not extending it. Mom is going through bouts of starving herself but then her body doesn't let her finish the job. Mom's been suicidal for most of my life. Her last attempt was in Feb or so of 2023 and then she lost her verbal abilities/ability to drive/ability to type, etc. sometime after that. Possibly an effect of the OD or possibly long covid or possibly just...shit happens. My sister suggests we do a 'girls trip' [Mom, her sister my aunt L, my sister H & her daughter E] via RV - Indiana to the wild mustang place in S. Dakota that my mom has supported over the last couple decades, to see the horses in person, then take mom to TX to her new hospice home. It's still in the talking phase, no plans as of yet. We will need to plan it when my niece E is not in school.
My friend's husband died in March. he was diabetic but otherwise healthy. Age 66. I went out to CO and spent 5 days with her recently. She is in bad physical and mental health. she is 56. The friend who invited me to come with her to visit Sam and help is younger than me and has Guillan Barre.
Another friend just younger than me got diagnosed with Huntingtons. She has anywhere from 10 to 30 years to live, but due to the brain effects, how good are those 10-30 yrs gonna be? loss of motor control, depression, irritability, personality changes....yuck.
Death and disabilty are everywhere.... I'm glad to be as healthy as I am. I know I ought to be more physically active and try to drop some weight but nothing has ever worked for me over the long term and I hate to start and fail again. I am consistent on walking dogs twice a day, that's about it.
Home, dogs, and husband are good. We have a nice home routine. My contract job that was extended several times (originally a 6 month, ended up being almost 2.5 yrs) finally ended at the end of March. I have a decent bit of savings, so I'm not desperate but I'm definitely looking. I like working remotely. I don't like office environments -- too much noise and distraction, and I am not good with office politics/socializing. Pretty much feral since the pandemic.
So....that's my life. Nothing too exciting. Nothing too godawful. Lots of people suffering and very little I can do about any of it. Keeping my routine going and finding small good things in the daily small life.
