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so I'm a hermit now
Jan. 31st, 2024 01:44 pm I vaguely remember that I used to have groups, I used to attend public meet ups, I used to have outside interests, and friends.....I worked (commuted, even!), kept a decently clean house, cooked dinner at times, and still had these outside events I attended and enjoyed.
These days...I don't. And I don't miss it. I have a little part of my mind saying it's probably depression, it's probably unhealthy, I *should* have events and gatherings and people to look forward to ....but I am not keen on 'shoulding' on myself anymore. If I don't wanna do it,I'm not gonna.
Restaurants? For the most part, whatever it is, I can cook it better and cheaper at home. There may be some really niche cuisine I'm not aware of that requires bizarre ingredients or special implements, but mostly, yeah, I am a badass cook and I like my own cooking very much.
Bars/Drinks? Again, better and cheaper at home.
People? see above.
I think the Covid pandemic just hammered another nail into my psyche as far as that goes. I came of age in the 80s when sex=death. I did not lose my virginity until I was 21 and felt I was capable of dealing gracefully and competently with either an unwanted pregnancy or a disease that was a death sentence. Luckily, I was generally cautious and prudent in choice of partners and use of prophylactics and did not end up with either of those outcomes, but I'm 100% sure that the 80s AIDS pandemic left scars on my psyche that made me cautious and paranoid about intimacy for life. So, the covid thing just amped it up....not only should you not have sex with people you love (unless you want them or you to DIE!) you shouldn't even breathe near them. The more you love them, the farther away you should stay. If you cherish this person, leave them alone for their own good.
Idunno. maybe I'm being overdramatic and overstating it....I have spent time with some of my most beloved and older family members since the pandemic. I even went on a cruise.
I just don't feel...people-y anymore. I guess all of my freinds and loved ones are out of practice as well....they could invite me to things, if they wanted me there. I could invite them to things, if I wanted them there. Except I don't do 'things' anymore. I go to the grocery store and the dog park. and I think I like my dogs better than I like most people. And I think I'm ok with it except when I get the feeling that I 'shouldn't' be.
bleh.
This post brought about by a FB friend posting about Sherwood Forest Faire starting soon and my immediate gut response of 'meh'
anyhoo....my mind is scattered these last couple days. allergies and bad sleep. I haven't been getting as much done with work as I ought to. Back to it, I guess. lunch break is almost over.
These days...I don't. And I don't miss it. I have a little part of my mind saying it's probably depression, it's probably unhealthy, I *should* have events and gatherings and people to look forward to ....but I am not keen on 'shoulding' on myself anymore. If I don't wanna do it,I'm not gonna.
Restaurants? For the most part, whatever it is, I can cook it better and cheaper at home. There may be some really niche cuisine I'm not aware of that requires bizarre ingredients or special implements, but mostly, yeah, I am a badass cook and I like my own cooking very much.
Bars/Drinks? Again, better and cheaper at home.
People? see above.
I think the Covid pandemic just hammered another nail into my psyche as far as that goes. I came of age in the 80s when sex=death. I did not lose my virginity until I was 21 and felt I was capable of dealing gracefully and competently with either an unwanted pregnancy or a disease that was a death sentence. Luckily, I was generally cautious and prudent in choice of partners and use of prophylactics and did not end up with either of those outcomes, but I'm 100% sure that the 80s AIDS pandemic left scars on my psyche that made me cautious and paranoid about intimacy for life. So, the covid thing just amped it up....not only should you not have sex with people you love (unless you want them or you to DIE!) you shouldn't even breathe near them. The more you love them, the farther away you should stay. If you cherish this person, leave them alone for their own good.
Idunno. maybe I'm being overdramatic and overstating it....I have spent time with some of my most beloved and older family members since the pandemic. I even went on a cruise.
I just don't feel...people-y anymore. I guess all of my freinds and loved ones are out of practice as well....they could invite me to things, if they wanted me there. I could invite them to things, if I wanted them there. Except I don't do 'things' anymore. I go to the grocery store and the dog park. and I think I like my dogs better than I like most people. And I think I'm ok with it except when I get the feeling that I 'shouldn't' be.
bleh.
This post brought about by a FB friend posting about Sherwood Forest Faire starting soon and my immediate gut response of 'meh'
anyhoo....my mind is scattered these last couple days. allergies and bad sleep. I haven't been getting as much done with work as I ought to. Back to it, I guess. lunch break is almost over.
