![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
“What is narcissistic monologuing?”
Jan. 24th, 2022 11:42 pmI didn't know there was a term for this.
Historically, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and just assume they're running their mouths too much because they're nervous, or they're a bit socially inept, or some other excuse. At least I tend to make excuses for them the first time I meet someone and they run off at the mouth like this. When it becomes a constant state every time you see them, then I suspect it's a manifestation of the Narc "Great and Wonderful ME! Show" that is so fucking exhausting.
One of the 'blessings' of age is that I am quicker on the uptake than I was as a younger woman, and I don't tend to tolerate or re-engage with a person once they've bored me to death with a monologue the first time I meet them. Red flag, the end. Life is too short to make excuses for other people's bad behavior. Were they nervous? Are they neuro-untypical in some way? Are they just socially insensitive? Doesn't matter to me, I'm not here to remediate them, teach them, or raise them right.
https://qr.ae/pGBgY5
Rebecca Andrews, Survivor, Student, and Observer
Updated Mar 27, 2020
“What is narcissistic monologuing?”
More: https://www.quora.com/What-is-narcissistic-monologuing
Historically, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and just assume they're running their mouths too much because they're nervous, or they're a bit socially inept, or some other excuse. At least I tend to make excuses for them the first time I meet someone and they run off at the mouth like this. When it becomes a constant state every time you see them, then I suspect it's a manifestation of the Narc "Great and Wonderful ME! Show" that is so fucking exhausting.
One of the 'blessings' of age is that I am quicker on the uptake than I was as a younger woman, and I don't tend to tolerate or re-engage with a person once they've bored me to death with a monologue the first time I meet them. Red flag, the end. Life is too short to make excuses for other people's bad behavior. Were they nervous? Are they neuro-untypical in some way? Are they just socially insensitive? Doesn't matter to me, I'm not here to remediate them, teach them, or raise them right.
https://qr.ae/pGBgY5
Rebecca Andrews, Survivor, Student, and Observer
Updated Mar 27, 2020
“What is narcissistic monologuing?”
Narcissistic monologuing (NM) is an opportunistic form of narcissistic abuse that a narcissist utilizes to increase supply levels, when the right situation presents itself or has been contrived by the narcissist. It can be practiced by narcs of any gender.
Narcissistic monologuing requires a narcissist to leverage social norms around human conversation in order to extract narcissistic supply from another human being or beings. Healthy, balanced human beings understand conversation to be like volleying a tennis ball across the tennis court — one person hits the ball across (offers information or asks something), then the other person replies, and back and forth, so it goes. Conversations are built through the back and forth between the two people.
Narcissists, however, have not the least interest in reciprocity, healthy relationships, or balance. What they are after is SUPPLY. A supply-hungry narcissist may start a “conversation” or enter an existing conversation with a person or persons, and quick as a wink, hijack the conversation, converting it into a lecture-style event. Most often the content of the narcissist’s lecture is related to the greatness of the narcissist — he rescued this or that person, caught the biggest fish, makes the most money, has the most expensive car; she rescued this or that or those people, straightened out a confused person, baked more cookies for the poor than any person ever before on the face of the planet. Sometimes a monologue will consist of the narcissist droning on about a subject they believe they are an expert in, in effect acting as if they other people are lucky to have the opportunity to share in the narcissists' superior knowledge or wisdom.
Having been involuntarily converted from a regular human into an audience member is very uncomfortable for average people, and this discomfort is a lot of what seems to provide the fuel to the narcissist; she feeds off of the listening energy of the “audience” as well as off their discomfort. The energy the listener expends validates the narcissist’s false self.
Narcissistic monologuing is a type of narcissistic abuse, since the people who are present for the narcissist’s lecture will generally feel trapped into listening to the narcissist due to their understanding and acceptance of social conventions, along with their empathy for the narcissist’s intensity and naked need for attention. Although the narcissistic monologue is often a crime of opportunity, it can also be contrived by narcissists when they set up a social situation, such as an outing or a party.
The narcissistic monologue will be employed whenever possible, as narcissists are quite lazy and it is easily accomplished in the right situation. The narcissistic monologue will surely drain the energy from anyone with the misfortune to feel trapped to listen to it or stay in the situation. This is one reason why narcissists generally contrive situations wherein they may employ the monologue technique when it is difficult or impossible for the audience to escape, such as at work in a shared office, inside a moving automobile or any mode of transportation, or within the context of a social situation that is very formal or requires the audience members to remain out of social obligation.
The mere thought of enduring a narcissistic monologue will sicken those who have been subject to them repeatedly, and those of us who understand what is happening on the unseen level, the way energy is being suctioned off of us by the parasitic narcissist, will avoid being trapped in any situation with a narcissistic person for any length of time.
Narcissistic monologuing requires a narcissist to leverage social norms around human conversation in order to extract narcissistic supply from another human being or beings. Healthy, balanced human beings understand conversation to be like volleying a tennis ball across the tennis court — one person hits the ball across (offers information or asks something), then the other person replies, and back and forth, so it goes. Conversations are built through the back and forth between the two people.
Narcissists, however, have not the least interest in reciprocity, healthy relationships, or balance. What they are after is SUPPLY. A supply-hungry narcissist may start a “conversation” or enter an existing conversation with a person or persons, and quick as a wink, hijack the conversation, converting it into a lecture-style event. Most often the content of the narcissist’s lecture is related to the greatness of the narcissist — he rescued this or that person, caught the biggest fish, makes the most money, has the most expensive car; she rescued this or that or those people, straightened out a confused person, baked more cookies for the poor than any person ever before on the face of the planet. Sometimes a monologue will consist of the narcissist droning on about a subject they believe they are an expert in, in effect acting as if they other people are lucky to have the opportunity to share in the narcissists' superior knowledge or wisdom.
Having been involuntarily converted from a regular human into an audience member is very uncomfortable for average people, and this discomfort is a lot of what seems to provide the fuel to the narcissist; she feeds off of the listening energy of the “audience” as well as off their discomfort. The energy the listener expends validates the narcissist’s false self.
Narcissistic monologuing is a type of narcissistic abuse, since the people who are present for the narcissist’s lecture will generally feel trapped into listening to the narcissist due to their understanding and acceptance of social conventions, along with their empathy for the narcissist’s intensity and naked need for attention. Although the narcissistic monologue is often a crime of opportunity, it can also be contrived by narcissists when they set up a social situation, such as an outing or a party.
The narcissistic monologue will be employed whenever possible, as narcissists are quite lazy and it is easily accomplished in the right situation. The narcissistic monologue will surely drain the energy from anyone with the misfortune to feel trapped to listen to it or stay in the situation. This is one reason why narcissists generally contrive situations wherein they may employ the monologue technique when it is difficult or impossible for the audience to escape, such as at work in a shared office, inside a moving automobile or any mode of transportation, or within the context of a social situation that is very formal or requires the audience members to remain out of social obligation.
The mere thought of enduring a narcissistic monologue will sicken those who have been subject to them repeatedly, and those of us who understand what is happening on the unseen level, the way energy is being suctioned off of us by the parasitic narcissist, will avoid being trapped in any situation with a narcissistic person for any length of time.
More: https://www.quora.com/What-is-narcissistic-monologuing
