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Should I give my narcissist wife a second chance? How do I know for sure she is a narcissist?

A second chance for what? To come back and finish the destruction of your life more completely? To come back and finish decimating your savings, finish killing off your self esteem, come back and destroy your sexual health, come back and ruin your friendships, come back and finish alienating you from your family?

If you know she’s a narcissist, don’t let her back into your life! Change your bank accounts, change your computer passwords, change your address, post office box, make sure she can NEVER get back in to your life!! Narcissists do NOT change. They do NOT regret their destructive, abusive, insane behavior. They do not feel bad for hurting you!

If you aren’t sure if she’s a narcissist or not…go by the behavior. Did she treat you and your friends and family with kindness and respect? Did she behave responsibly with regard to finances? Was she romantically and sexually faithful? Was she emotionally stable? Did she drink to excess? Did she use drugs? Was she able to hold down a job or keep the house tidy & care for your children if she didn’t work outside the home? Was she able to handle disagreements in a mature and respectful way? Did she hit you? Did she yell at you? Did she use sex to manipulate you? Did she make fun of you and humiliate you in public or at home? Did she badmouth you to her family and friends? Did she react positively to your occasional need to spend time with your friends, or with your family, with or without her accompanying you?

If she did not treat you with kindness, consideration, and respect, if she was emotionally unstable, if she abused you physically, emotionally or financially, if she used drugs and alcohol excessively, then it doesn’t matter if she was a diagnosed narcissist or just a plain old everyday jerk, you are better off without her.

Congratulations! You are free. Get therapy to heal your mind and heart. Learn how to set and maintain good boundaries. Don’t get romantically involved with anyone for at least a year while you work on yourself.

DO NOT ALLOW PEOPLE WHO TREAT YOU BADLY TO SHARE YOUR LIFE!

DO NOT LET THE NARCISSIST BACK IN TO YOUR LIFE!!

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