Quora: Why would a narcissist post subliminal cryptic messages on social media about you

 

Why would a narcissist post subliminal cryptic messages on social media about you (primary source) during the silent treatment/discard? Even if you have blocked him on social media after you sent him a final goodbye msg that he ignored?

If you’ve blocked him, then how are you able to read his garbage?

It sounds like you are not doing No Contact as well as you ought to be. No Contact does not mean sending a final message and then waiting to see if he responds. No Contact does not mean blocking him on your social media and then using  a friend's account to check his social media posts to see if there’s something he posted that you can choose to take personally and decide it was about you. No contact means NO CONTACT!!!

You have taken a good step in ending a relationship with a person who was not good for you. Now firm up your commitment to NO CONTACT[1]

 

Do not check his social media.

Do not send him emails, texts, or phone calls to make sure he knows that you aren’t interested in him anymore.

Do not ask friends or family to check his social media.

Do not ask mutual friends questions about him.

The narcissist is not going to change or get better. The narcissist is not going to regret mistreating you. The narcissist is going to attempt to suck you back in to their ridiculous drama if you give them a chance. The only person you can change in this situation is yourself.

Do whatever you need to do to avoid thinking and talking about him. Catch up with friends you may not have seen in a while because he made you choose him over them. Take up a new hobby or get back to some of your old hobbies that you may have dropped. Get more involved with your faith community, if you have a spiritual path that you follow. If you don’t have a faith community, perhaps visit a few local churches, temples, synagogues, etc. and attend a few services to see if one is a good fit for you. Make a commitment to a mind-body practice that can help your peace of mind - yoga, meditation, nature hikes, journaling, etc. Consider joining Codependents Anonymous or another support group. Consider seeing a therapist, counselor, or clergy person. Now is the time to focus on YOU. Now is the time to heal and grow and practice self care and strengthen those boundaries and self esteem so that you will not be an easy target for another narcissist.

Footnotes

[1] 

 

no contact rule – Shrink4Men 

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 eventful day at home....made my usual Jack Daniels pie for tomorrow's gathering, got my new work laptop delivered & signed for, and Boba and Liam got in a fight. They were both snoozing by my feet, Liam under the desk and Boba just beside my chair. They had both been laying there quietly when for no reason I can see, Liam took offense to Boba's presence and started growling, Boba started growling back, and then Liam jumped on Boba..all of this is halfway under my desk/feet.chair and I'm trying to get in there and separate them with limited room and visibility. Liam bit my arm. I have a bruise and a puncture. I looked both dogs over and neither of them have any wounds. I put Liam in the bedroom to chill for a while, then gave him calming chewy treat and a benadryl. I don't know what set all of that off....we haven't been in our usual routine for the last few days. the weather has changed, may be causing some arthritis or joint pain for Liam because he's an older dog, he also doesn't see well due to cataracts. He may also be starting to have cognitive issues due to age. We don't really know how old he is, he was 6-8 when we got him, now he's 8-10. I don't know what to do. He was so abject and cringing away from me when I went into the bedroom to give him his calming treat....he was so afraid. :(

We are invited over to my aunt and uncle's for supper, but I dont' want to leave the dogs together by themselves at home. The concern is if I take Liam and he has to stay in the backyard, they think he'll squeeze through the gap between the fence and the gate.  The concern with either Boba or Liam is that my cousin is there with his little old dog, who may be reactive to having other dogs in 'his' space, since my cousin and his pup flew in and are staying there for the holiday. So....I'm not sure what to do. Dose everybody up with benadryl before we go over and leave them at home & hope for the best?

I can't have a dog that is going to randomly attack dogs and people in my house. I'm not ready to really think or act on that knowledge. It's like...I know what I probably need to do. I just don't want to think about it. Or do it.