Quora: How do I know if he is a Narc or Socio? There is a father who has 3 kids.

 

How do I know if he is a Narc or Socio? There is a father who has 3 kids. The golden child, scapegoat, and the 3rd is like he doesn't want his true self exposed to her; acts like a perf father. But he isn't hypersensitive to criticism &not impulsive

 

 

The label is not all that critical, to be honest. So many people in abusive or dysfunctional relationships get bogged down in ‘analysis paralysis’ where they want to learn all about someone’s disorder and what may have caused the person to behave in that dysfunctional way. (been there, done that. I understand. Truly, I do.) Somehow, the idea of putting a name or a label on a behavior leads the person to believe that if they can name it, they can control it or change it or fix it. Sorry, but no.

The fact of the matter is that it’s a waste of time, generally, to try and figure out what is wrong with someone else and determine a diagnosis based on your layperson research. It’s like going to the Big Book of Dog Breeds after you’ve been bitten, to try and find a picture of the dog that bit you, instead of going to the doctor because your leg is torn open and you’re bleeding out. It doesn’t matter what kind of dog it was. The behavior has damaged you, and you need qualified professional help for your wounds.

If you are in a relationship with a person who is behaving in ways you find destructive, identify the behavior that is a problem for you, rather than applying a label of narcissist or sociopath or what-have-you. Speak to the person who is behaving badly. If they try and turn it around to make it your fault, if they deny that their behavior is destructive, if they use your complaint as an excuse to engage in further abuse and mistreatment, then you have your answer: This is not a person you can have a healthy relationship with.

Get out of the relationship, work on yourself, and make healthier relationship choices in the future.

PLEASE NOTE: If you observe child abuse, or believe that the person is abusing their children, you may wish to call Child Protective Services. You may even have a job or a credential that requires you to report child abuse. Do this as soon as you can, but from a safe distance.

=======================

 Posts tagged 'quora' were originally my answers to peoples' questions on quora.com. 

They were monetized but I am giving them away for free here. 

If you feel inclined to support my writing, here's my paypal 

And if you prefer to pay it forward, I recommend Safe Place as an excellent place to support.