![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I agree with the answers I’ve already seen: Narcs either don’t like animals at all, or they choose animals that are easily controlled, animals that are cute (exotic, interesting, unique are also possibilities), and they do not take care of them properly.
A narcissistic abuser of my long acquaintance chooses prey animals exclusively, exotic/interesting/cute ones. The narc also chooses quantity over quality and doesn’t seem to recognize it as odd. At one point, I had two cats, a dog, and a hedgehog, and the narc ‘only’ had two horses. So the narc informed me quite calmly and in a normal conversational tone that they needed to get more horses so that they’d have more pets than me. Never mind that all 4 of my animals put together were smaller, cheaper and easier to maintain, than even one horse. The quantity of pets, and specifically the need to have more pets than me was the only thing that mattered to the narc.
The narc takes these animals into public places with little to no regard for the animals’ health, safety, or well being. For example, one of the animals is a species that is found in the tropics. The narc will take the animal out in frigid winter weather to a restaurant where they’ll be sent out to dine on the patio due to restaurant or health authority rules regarding animals, and the animal will stand there shivering in the cold while the narc shows it off and makes it do tricks and basically behaves like an attention-seeking ass while the animal catches pneumonia. These animals have delicate health and require special diets and a regular schedule, including being able to sleep in a quiet place as soon as the sun goes down. The narc has no regard for the animal’s well being, they feed it french fries and fried chicken and other human-food ‘treats’ which over time make it sick. The narc will keep the animal out way past sunset and then punish the animal harshly if it begins to act out due to being exhausted and miserable, including throwing it harshly onto the ground, even if the floor surface is hard concrete.
And, of course, anyone daring to speak against the abusive behavior will be attacked by the narcissist, who is a self-proclaimed ‘expert’ regarding that animal, and since YOU don’t own one of these expensive, delicate, high-maintenance creatures, obviously you have no idea what you’re talking about when you say it should not be thrown at the concrete floor full-force.
I have seen similar behavior among other suspected narcissists—people at ‘goth’ clubs with live snakes or ferrets….terrified animals who are frightened by crowds of people, whose tender hearing is being damaged by loud music, and then the owner gets upset if the animal acts out in any way. I really hate to see that. It’s so obvious that the owner isn’t doing anything for the benefit of their pet, just owning something ‘cool’ that they want to show off to make themselves look ‘cool’ too. It’s really gross to treat a living, feeling creature as a ‘prop’ for your ‘interesting lifestyle’. But that’s narcs for ya!
The narcissist abuser of my acquaintance also has a number of horses that are not well cared-for (cracked and chipped hooves, bad teeth, dirty and unbrushed manes and coats, either too skinny or too fat, out of condition, etc.)
The narc will haul these animals into city parks that are not designated as horseback riding areas in order to show them off and be ‘interesting’ to people. Bonus points for getting into conflict with local law enforcement so that the narc can play Lawyer and demand to see the specific statute, rule, or law forbidding horseback riding in that area, and ‘where is that posted’ and bla bla bla. The narc will not bring any sort of food or water for the animals, and will allow pretty much anyone who shows interest to ride the animals around—untrained, inexperienced riders who will kick them hard them to make them go, yank on their heads to try and ‘steer’ them, etc.
The animals are already frightened and sweaty when they arrive at the park sometimes, due to the narc being a horrible driver and taking the animals out during times of day when it’s already too hot [1] and they shouldn’t be riding, so it’s just really painful and upsetting for anyone who knows anything about horses to have to see.
Unfortunately, the narc chooses to surround themselves with people who have no idea, and nobody at the urban places these animals are dragged around to show off knows anything about horses, either. Sometimes, the horses will be painted with tempera paints and have a unicorn horn put on them. The narc really wants/needs attention and really wants/needs to be seen as a magickal horse-whisperer. And, of course, if you are graciously ‘allowed’ to ride one of these poor dirty sad beasts, the narc will behave as if you owe them a giant favor for the rest of your life.
Likewise, if you know anything about horses and dare to offer criticism of the way the animals are treated, run all day without food or water, hoof condition, dirty tangled manes, etc. etc. then you will be attacked and belittled, because YOU aren’t the expert, the narcissist is the expert, and you don’t own any horses (or 24 horses like the narc does!) so how could you possibly know anything about them? You are just a jealous idiot for criticizing!
I also agree with the other posts that the narc does not and will not care properly for their pets. It’s an unfortunate fact that many adult humans will stay in a relationship with an abuser in order to protect pets from the abuser. So, if the animals receive care at all, it’s from a family member or partner who feels afraid of what would happen if they weren’t there to take care of the pets, and who feels obligated to stay and tolerate abuse for the well-being of the animals.
Which brings me to a final purpose to the narc’s accumulation of pets: like children, they can be used as hostages and/or bargaining chips against the other adult(s), family, or household members in the narcissist’s life. Just as they use the animals to get attention or sympathy from strangers out in the world, they use the animals’ daily needs as a chain to keep their slaves from leaving.
So, to recap:
- the pet must be cute, exotic, or interesting so that the narc can show it off and use it to get attention.
- the narc actually doesn’t give a crap about the animal’s health or well-being except as an inconvenience when the animal gets sick or behaves badly due to being neglected/abused.
- the pet must be low maintenance, or there must be other people in the narc’s life to provide care, because the narc certainly isn’t going to clean poopy cages or take them to vet appointments or spend any time at all doing anything that is good for the animal that doesn’t benefit the narc FIRST and MORE.
- the pet must allow the narc to present a facade of being special, unique, or an expert in that type of animal.
- the pet must allow the narc to present a fake image of being an animal lover, animal rescuer, Expert Breeder, or some other kind of Great Philantropist
- the pet gives the narc leverage to keep family or partners in line and under control—if you leave, the animal will die without your care. Or, if you leave, the narcissist will punish you by killing the animal outright. Or the narc’s human targets will stay in order to absorb physical abuse that would otherwise be directed against the pets (children).
Footnotes
They were monetized but I am giving them away for free here.
If you feel inclined to support my writing, here's my paypal
And if you prefer to pay it forward, I recommend Safe Place as an excellent place to support.
