Quora: When the narcissist launches a 'silent treatment' campaign against you

When the narcissist launches a 'silent treatment' campaign against you by having flying monkeys refuse to talk to you…is that something the Narc directly requests from them? How would they know to do this?

 The narc is an excellent manipulator. He or she will give you the silent treatment and then go tell some lie to their followers/flying monkeys about you, which will cause the flying monkeys to dislike and distrust you as well. I had a whole workplace like this; it’s called mobbing

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 The flying monkeys don’t realize they’re being controlled, or that the narc has recruited them to give their target the silent treatment, they think it’s their own idea and that they have perfectly good personal reasons to ignore and mistreat the narcissist’s target.

 

You really have no idea what the narc is saying behind your back; in my case I’m pretty sure my main bully told my coworkers that I was a snob, I thought I was better and smarter than anyone else, and that I was rude. And, since I was there to do a job, I was mostly quiet, kept to myself, and avoided the bully, her words did have the appearance of truth.

The narcissist is adept at creating mistrust between people and compartmentalizing all of their relationships (with both ‘friends’ and ‘enemies’) so that it seems their flying monkeys and various targets won’t ever speak to each other and compare notes to realize that the common instigator of all of the drama is the narcissist. By keeping everyone apart, fostering mistrust, and keeping themselves as the center and the gatekeeper of ‘truth’ and ‘reality’ the narc can keep their sick games going indefinitely.

It is difficult and unpleasant to try and maintain a normal existence when it seems everyone around you is against you. Cultivate nurturing relationships away from the narc and his/her crowd, and do what you can to avoid those people or minimize time spent around them, if they are business associates.

If this is your workplace, find a new job asap! Easier said than done, I know, but when you are spending the majority of your waking life in an office, it needs to be a safe place for you. Also, *document document document*—cover your ass, keep a paper trail, save emails, etc. until you are able to make a clean break.

If this is a hobby or interest group or a place of worship that is harboring this abuser, find a new group.

You should not need to explain to another adult human why you deserve to be treated with dignity; if you find yourself begging for your basic humanity from someone, be it a narcissist or a flying monkey, that person is not worth keeping in your life, they are sick and they need to be gone from your life.

Footnotes

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What Is Mobbing at the Workplace?

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 Posts tagged 'quora' were originally my answers to peoples' questions on quora.com. 

They were monetized but I am giving them away for free here. 

If you feel inclined to support my writing, here's my paypal 

And if you prefer to pay it forward, I recommend Safe Place as an excellent place to support.

Quora: Do flying monkeys do everything they are told to?

 Not necessarily, but then again the most clever and crafty narcs don’t outright ‘tell’ their flying monkeys to do stuff. They just badmouth, temper-tantrum, rage-out, pout, cry, and manipulate until the flying monkey just decides to do something that just happens to be exactly what the narc wanted them to do.

At later phases in the narc-flying monkey relationship, the flying monkeys may have been beaten down enough by being targets that they do take on more of an aspect of servants/slaves to the narcissist, but that’s much later in the evil dance. Generally, the narc will just manipulate rather than outright give orders.

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 Posts tagged 'quora' were originally my answers to peoples' questions on quora.com. 

They were monetized but I am giving them away for free here. 

If you feel inclined to support my writing, here's my paypal 

And if you prefer to pay it forward, I recommend Safe Place as an excellent place to support.