Quora: What are the signs of a (female) Covert Narcissist going into narcissistic collapse?

What are the signs of a (female) Covert Narcissist going into narcissistic collapse?

 This is a really good answer, I think it’s comprehensive and explains ‘how they got there’ 

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This happens when they can no longer manage to maintain the charade, or the gap between their false and reals self. Hard reality knocks, and the vulnerability of their false self is laid bare. Their looks catch up with them. They’ve pissed so many supporters off along the way that people steer clear. The players in their make-believe world including friends, enablers and flying monkeys wake up to realise that the whole victim narrative was a string of lies and that is they who are the toxic ones, and not their victims. That none of their apparent “success” in life is actually attributable to them but was essentially stolen or borrowed from others. That all of their crazy and abusive exes are in fact not unhinged, but were made to appear that way by all of the crazy-baiting and drama deliberately caused by the narc themselves. Their children wake up to the reality that their normal range parents loved them all along.

Mental Breakdown

Narcissistic Collapse presents itself as a massive mental breakdown after which they become withdrawn and isolated. They struggle to face themselves, and as a result can’t face the world.

Narcissistic Collapse is generally permanent – the narcissist never recovers for the rest of their life.

Narcissistic Hibernation

There is a less common variant known as Narcissistic Hibernation. This generally happens when the Narcopath loses their key sources of narcissistic supply and therefore struggles to maintain their charade. They lie low until another is found and from whom they are able to derive sufficient narcissistic supply to feel good enough about themselves to face the world again.

Karma

This is the karma about which pundits offer refer. It’ll happen, sure enough. And if you as a victim want to accelerate the onset of narcissistic collapse, just go out there and thrive. Your success deals them hammer blows.

The Aging Narcopath

1. Most thrive well into their 20s and 30s, having given the impression to everyone they have been popular or the “cool person” since childhood.
2. By the time they reach their 40s, the tables begin to turn.
3. As they begin to show age and resent it, they lose the power to charm and entrance people by using their looks.
4. By the time they hit their 50s and 60s, most narcissistic people start to lose friends and have less influence.

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There are more answers under this topic that are also good. 

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Additionally, I feel that for some narcs when they reach a stage in life where they can no longer uphold a ‘real life’ facade of brilliance, attractiveness, expertise, etc, the modern age allows them a sunset period of being able to keep the attention of followers and flying monkeys enthralled on social media, where they boast and brag, virtue-signal, start flame-wars, etc. I think that this can keep them going a while longer, where in past times the narc would have faded into a pathetic shadow of self-isolated misery.

I think, basically, like any dying beast, the narcissist will become more violent, dangerous, and unpredictable just before she loses all sources of supply and succumbs to her own bleak inner world. I feel that at this time, they are most dangerous both to themselves and to their family, friends, and followers. This can end up being a “Jim Jones” moment for the narc, where she knows she’s going but she doesn’t want to go alone, and she wants to punish the world for her fate. I would be very careful with someone in this state—a person who feels they have nothing left to lose will spend their life and the lives around them with reckless disregard.

Footnotes

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Stewart Cook's answer to What is a "collapsed narcissist"?

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What is a "collapsed narcissist"?

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