![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
The central pillar of the narcissist’s identity (or the central pole of their circus tent, if you prefer that metaphor) is that they MUST be “Special” in some way. Since very few humans can actually be “the best” or “the most beautiful,” and since any inborn talents require practice to perfect and become expert, which is boring, and beauty fades with time and/or self-indulgence, having a special, rare, unusual, or difficult to diagnose illness is often the fall-back when a narcissist can no longer get away with pretending to be an ‘expert’ at something, or get attention based on their physical appearance & sexual promiscuity.
As others who have answered this question have noted, many of these health problems are a direct result of behavior—STIs from inappropriate sexual behavior, health problems related to drinking, drugs, or over indulgence in rich foods. And some problems seem to be entirely made-up by the narcissist, just for attention.
Having a rare or difficult to diagnose “disease” gives the narcissist an excuse to behave badly and make demands of his or her partner(s) that only a ‘sick’ person would be able to demand or expect. His or her ‘health condition’ gives the narcissist an ‘out’ for not participating in things that she or he does not wish to participate in. This mysterious health condition, for example, will ‘flare up’ when the narcissist is moving into a new home so they ‘can’t’ lift or carry anything, but of course their health will improve miraculously when it’s time to go to a concert or an event they wanted to attend. Anyone who questions this, is of course, a very cruel and insensitive person.
Another aspect of the narcissist’s health issue is that they have most likely self-diagnosed based on internet searching. If they can be persuaded at all to visit a doctor, they will assume that the doctor doesn’t know what they are doing. Common sense suggestions regarding a healthier lifestyle, adopting regular sleep habits, sensible diet, reduction in weight, and the like, will be taken as offensive. The Narc will say things like: “It’s my body and I have researched my condition thoroughly, this doctor only studied rare diseases for a week or two in med school, so of course I know better than the doctor does,” This approach allows the narcissist to feels superior to a medical professional and allows him/her to refuse treatment and stay sick, or demand absurd, outdated, debunked, or inadvisable medical treatments and medications, which the doctors will normally refuse, therefore giving the narcissist even more ‘evidence’ for their claim that doctors are incompetent and unhelpful. Some narcissists will refuse to see doctors and self-medicate with alcohol, herbs, their own expired prescriptions mixed with other people’s prescriptions, street drugs, extreme dietary fads etc. Some narcissists will doctor-shop until they can find one they ‘like’ who is likely one who will go along with their delusions and give them whatever meds they demand. Unfortunately, I do believe there are doctors out there who will do this just to get a stubborn and demanding patient out of their office.
There is no down-side to the narcissist’s illness, from a narcissist’s point of view: they get attention, they get out of things they don’t want to do, they feel even further entitlement to make unreasonable demands and place unreasonable expectations on partners, family, friends, and employers, and they can often bully and bamboozle their way into receiving drugs from exasperated doctors. And, since there is no down side that they can see to being sick, they have no motivation to ‘get well’.
==============
Editing to add: Posts tagged 'quora' were originally my answers to peoples' questions on quora.com. They were monetized but I am giving them away for free here.
If you feel inclined to support my writing, here's my paypal
And if you prefer to pay it forward, I recommend Safe Place as an excellent place to support.
