Quora: How do you know if someone is a narcissist or just has narcissistic traits due to growing up

How do you know if someone is a narcissist or just has narcissistic traits due to growing up with narcissists?

 

My friend, the best advice I ever got was this: “You are not the John Madden of the A-hole bowl.” It’s not your job to be around people behaving like a-holes and make the call as to why they are acting that way.

Another way of putting it: Do you need to know the breed of the dog that is biting you? No. You need to recognize that you are being attacked and do what you can to stop the attack, get away from the animal that is biting you, and be safe & heal from your wounds.

It is very possible to be raised by narcissistic parent(s) and develop those patterns of behavior. It’s possible to be in a relationship with a narcissistic boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, or husband and eventually start to behave in the same inconsiderate selfish manipulative and hateful ways because when you’re dealing with people like that,when it’s the only way to even get close to having your needs met.

What you need to understand to the core of yourself is that you don’t deserve to be treated badly by anyone, ever. Whether that person is immature, having a bad day, doesn’t know any better, or is a malignant sociopath, it does not matter. You should never have to explain, let alone beg for, being treated basic human dignity and kindness from another human being.

If the person you are attempting to diagnose and analyze wants a diagnosis or analysis, let him or her get it from a professional and let them deal with their own issues.

Your job is to live your own best life, take care of your own mental and physical health, love and respect yourself, learn how to be a safe and healthy adult and build safe and healthy relationships with other safe and healthy people. So many of us get into studying on mental illness and trying to figure out what other people’s problems are, and it really takes time and energy away from where we should be working: on ourselves.


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