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Long past time for this...
I am re committing to No Contact.
Through my own efforts, and listening to/encouraging discussion of the topic with family and friends, I have been aware of some stuff going down in my stepbrother's family situation that was not my business and nothing I could help, save, or influence positively by becoming involved.
It was stupid and it was a huge mistake. Worse, it gave an abuser an excuse to abuse (not that the abuser needs one, but by placing blame on me and responsibility on the victim, it allowed the abuser to continue to justify vile, outlandish behavior. Behavior that is entirely the choice of the abuser, and no fault or responsibility of the victim or myself)
I am ashamed, embarrassed, and disgusted with myself.
I have removed my direct access and I am recommitting to no contact. I am not going to avoid public places, but I will not approach them or speak to them if I find myself in the same place, or at the same event. If I am approached, I will walk away. I must not contact these people by email, phone, or text, or view social media, both business and personal. No contact MUST include not discussing these people with family or mutual friends.
I have been better about this in the past, and I can be better about it in the future. This is me committing to focusing on my own life & happiness. My brother remains in an unhealthy situation, for whatever reasons. That's not my problem or my responsibility. I can't do anything about it. Knowing details is distressing and pathological for me. No contact is for my health and well being.
Threats against my home, life, and livelihood have been made and dealt with successfully in the past. I do not feel that the person(s) in that household or any of their friends & associates are a viable threat to me. I am committing to remaining non-reactive should family or mutual friends mention that another threat has been made.
If any of you are friends or friendly acquaintances with my brother and his household, I applaud you and encourage you to continue to be so. I would love to see my brother free of that situation. For that to happen, he will need a supportive community of people. Through my own outspoken, opinionated, and codependent controlling behavior, I cannot be that for him. I need to accept that and move on with my own happy life.
Thank you for reading and understanding. Thank you for your patience with my latest slip. I am deeply ashamed. My friends are awesome people. You don't deserve to be mistreated or recruited as negative advocates. I am very sorry. Please hold me accountable if I slip up. I may not like it, but I need it. Thank you.
I am re committing to No Contact.
Through my own efforts, and listening to/encouraging discussion of the topic with family and friends, I have been aware of some stuff going down in my stepbrother's family situation that was not my business and nothing I could help, save, or influence positively by becoming involved.
It was stupid and it was a huge mistake. Worse, it gave an abuser an excuse to abuse (not that the abuser needs one, but by placing blame on me and responsibility on the victim, it allowed the abuser to continue to justify vile, outlandish behavior. Behavior that is entirely the choice of the abuser, and no fault or responsibility of the victim or myself)
I am ashamed, embarrassed, and disgusted with myself.
I have removed my direct access and I am recommitting to no contact. I am not going to avoid public places, but I will not approach them or speak to them if I find myself in the same place, or at the same event. If I am approached, I will walk away. I must not contact these people by email, phone, or text, or view social media, both business and personal. No contact MUST include not discussing these people with family or mutual friends.
I have been better about this in the past, and I can be better about it in the future. This is me committing to focusing on my own life & happiness. My brother remains in an unhealthy situation, for whatever reasons. That's not my problem or my responsibility. I can't do anything about it. Knowing details is distressing and pathological for me. No contact is for my health and well being.
Threats against my home, life, and livelihood have been made and dealt with successfully in the past. I do not feel that the person(s) in that household or any of their friends & associates are a viable threat to me. I am committing to remaining non-reactive should family or mutual friends mention that another threat has been made.
If any of you are friends or friendly acquaintances with my brother and his household, I applaud you and encourage you to continue to be so. I would love to see my brother free of that situation. For that to happen, he will need a supportive community of people. Through my own outspoken, opinionated, and codependent controlling behavior, I cannot be that for him. I need to accept that and move on with my own happy life.
Thank you for reading and understanding. Thank you for your patience with my latest slip. I am deeply ashamed. My friends are awesome people. You don't deserve to be mistreated or recruited as negative advocates. I am very sorry. Please hold me accountable if I slip up. I may not like it, but I need it. Thank you.
