Today's Gift:

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

I can change only myself, but sometimes that is enough.
--Ruth Humlecker

Happiness is more fleeting for some of us than for others. We may ponder this notion but fail to grasp the reason. However, careful attention to how "the happy ones" go through life will enlighten us. We will note how seldom they complain about others' actions. We will discover their willingness to accept others as they are. We will see that their attention is generally on the positive aspects of people and circumstances rather than on the negative.

We can join the parade of "happy ones" by letting go of our need to change people and situations that disturb us. Even when we are certain other people are wrong, we can let go of controlling them. Doing this means changing ourselves, of course. But this is the one thing in life we do have control over.

I will change myself if I think something needs changing today!

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey. © 1994 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the permission of Hazelden.

personal responsibility

These are some pretty radical thoughts. There's a big part of me that wants to say "But if someone cares about me, wouldn't they _____?" and I think that's a dark road of emotional manipulation just waiting to be taken.

I think internalizing these and making them work for me will be very empowering.

=============

* You alone are responsible for the level of satisfaction with the interactions you choose to have.

* If your strategies for interacting don't work, there's no point in blaming the other person.

* The best question to ask yourself isn't, "Who's responsible for my pain?" but "What can I do about it?"

* You can't expect others to change or be any different than they are.

* Relationships come down to two fundamental choices: adapt or let go.

* As an adult, you're never a victim (though you may have been a victim as a child, betrayed and neglected by the very people responsible for your care and nurturing).

From Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem

more good stuff here