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Today's Gift: Anger is not the answer
Oct. 26th, 2011 12:09 pmToday's thought from Hazelden is:
Anger helps straighten out a problem like a fan helps straighten out a pile of papers.
--Susan Marcotte
( Read more... )
Or, as Yoda puts it: "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."
For me, it's always been easier to be angry than to show hurt.( Read more... )
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Also, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Remember that domestic abuse is not always Male-on-Female. It is often Female-on-Male, or Female Parent on child(ren). And, sadly, I have friends who have been in same-sex relationships that have been abusive, too. It seems that there are even fewer resources for people in non-traditional relationships.
I have collected information on abuse, abusers, and ways to get safe under the tag abuse help..
This article on verbal abuse really makes a lot of good points.
Unfortunately, I very much relate to this quote:
Yet, very often those women who have the fire to rebel have also had the misfortune of having abuse and violence to rebel against. This is a formula for becoming an abuser as well. Knowing only the pattern of attack or counterattack, rebellious abused women learn the lesson of destroy or be destroyed. Having rejected the role of victim, they frequently take the only other role available in this destructive duel, that of victimizer. Since they are often not the physically strongest opponent, the weapon of choice of abusive women is usually verbal assault, and they often become skilled slashers and crushers of spirits.
"Slasher and crusher of spirits"....That would be me. And it's a challenge to get out of the black/white thinking that says "You must be the victim or the victimizer [or the rescuer]"...there are other options. Finding them is hard, but worthwhile.
Anger helps straighten out a problem like a fan helps straighten out a pile of papers.
--Susan Marcotte
( Read more... )
Or, as Yoda puts it: "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."
For me, it's always been easier to be angry than to show hurt.( Read more... )
Also, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Remember that domestic abuse is not always Male-on-Female. It is often Female-on-Male, or Female Parent on child(ren). And, sadly, I have friends who have been in same-sex relationships that have been abusive, too. It seems that there are even fewer resources for people in non-traditional relationships.
I have collected information on abuse, abusers, and ways to get safe under the tag abuse help..
This article on verbal abuse really makes a lot of good points.
Unfortunately, I very much relate to this quote:
Yet, very often those women who have the fire to rebel have also had the misfortune of having abuse and violence to rebel against. This is a formula for becoming an abuser as well. Knowing only the pattern of attack or counterattack, rebellious abused women learn the lesson of destroy or be destroyed. Having rejected the role of victim, they frequently take the only other role available in this destructive duel, that of victimizer. Since they are often not the physically strongest opponent, the weapon of choice of abusive women is usually verbal assault, and they often become skilled slashers and crushers of spirits.
"Slasher and crusher of spirits"....That would be me. And it's a challenge to get out of the black/white thinking that says "You must be the victim or the victimizer [or the rescuer]"...there are other options. Finding them is hard, but worthwhile.
