3729Halloween

2 Nov. 6:59 am

 

 

Off work around 4, home & change into pirate/pastafarian outfit.
Picked up Terriblelyne from work, lots of traffic, running late! Traffic
on the way back not so bad, got to Hoover's 6:16. Kulilinei, Mindi & Zack
already there, argonarcher. showed up. They seated us even tho we were
incomplete, Gev, Onyxxlynx and Maggiemaepisces showed up right after we got seated,
then Nikiyoy long after we were seated & ordered.

Nice visit. Maggiemaepisces's theory on skye_ds' SCA Eq. 'big trouble' is that
everyone has to get re-certified, its nothing personal against
skye, they just require it every now and again. That or possibly
some hoo-ha from the recent Bryn-Gwlad thing, since its a small site,
they don't allow horses to roam around, you have to keep them in a
certain area unless there's an equestrian event actually happening.
And same w/trailers.

Kulilinei and Nikiyoy took off after dinner, the rest of us went to the
Vortex theatre. Sweetie was there. Eventually we were joined by Ladydreamtime &
Rainking1. That was a nice surprise.

Vampyress was good. Everyone liked the costuming, the set, and the
casting of women with different body types. Ladydreamtime and Terriblelyne liked
that the singers were in the lower ranges.

After the play, Sweetie went home to put the finishing touches on his
costume and I took Terriblelyne home. Then I went back home & we went to 6th
st. for Halloween. Ran into the only other flying spaghetti monster
on his way out, we visited with him and his posse, they gave us
literature, the monsters 'tagged out' and off we went. We met up
w/Peglegasus and some chick who is apparently our neighboer, and we walked
around. We made about 1.5 rounds before Sweetie got annoyed and thirsty
and neighbor girl decided she wanted a drink, so she and Max went
into Casino el Camino & we went back to the car and he took off his
FSM head. When we got back to 6th, neighbor girl had decided she was
tired and so Max took her home. Sweetie & I went to The Ritz & had a
pitcher. A very drunk Trinity (from the matrix) came and sat w/us,
and we were joined by her friend "Joe" who was in a gas mask, green
rubber gloves and matching green rubber apron. Also at The Ritz, we
saw Tecate Man, 2 "The Jesus"'s from The Big Lebowski, a sexy cop,
some Musketeers, fairies, a Rastafarian, and that's all I can
remember. Out in the street, we saw Bender from Futurama, Darth Maul,
Edward Scissorhands, bunches of pirates, lots of slutty chicks, and
my favorite ironic costume: a 300 lb, 5'2" woman wearing horns and a
red t-shirt that said 'little devil'--hahah.

Then we went by Barflys and I met Sweetie's gang. That was kinda fun. A
very good Hunter S. Thompson was wandering around there. We were
there until last call & a little later, hanging around in the parking
lot. Max was pretty toasted, Bianca and Deedee were going to stay
with him and hang out until he felt a bit more sober to drive.

Then we went home and had really nice Halloween nookie. Sweetie lasted a
really long time :)

 

3730good thoughts

2 Nov. 7:45 am

 

 

"If you are going through hell, keep going." Winston Churchill

Water is fluid, soft and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which
is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and
yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another
paradox: what is soft is strong.
~Lao-Tzu

songs re: abuse

 

 

3733songs re: abuse

 

2 Nov. 9:29 am

 

 

plain white t's - shine
PLAIN WHITE T'S LYRICS

"Shine"

You know it tears me up inside
to see the feelings that you hide
Hide inside that empty bottle
I wish you saw how great you were
I wish you saw what life was worth
You wouldn't have to hide your problems
And I don't care what you might think
I think you've had too much to drink
Can't even talk when you're this way

Run away, run away
But that won't make it any better
Run away, run away
And make Tomorrow harder to live than today

There's so much out there you could miss
there's so much life out there to live
If you would just believe in yourself
You know you're better than all of this
you know you've got so much to give
But you're so afraid to give of yourself

There's a bright light shining inside you
it shines out through your eyes
Don't drown it away, don't be afraid, don't hide
Let it shine

You say you're looking for happiness
but when it comes, you run away from it
You tell yourself you don't deserve it
There's not much more that I can do now the rest is up to you
Until you love yourself, you'll never change
You'll keep on running
Until you deal with today


elliott smith- roman candle

He played himself
Didn't need me to give him hell
He could be cool and cruel to you and me
Knew we'd put up with anything
I want to hurt him
I want to give him pain
I'm a roman candle
My head is full of flames
I'm hallucinating
Hallucinating
I hear you cry
Your tears are cheap
Wet hot red swollen cheeks
Fall alseep
I want to hurt him
I want to give him pain
I'm a roman candle
My head is full of flames
I want to hurt him
I want to hurt him
I want to hurt him
I want to give him pain
And make him feel this pretty burn


Black Eyes Blue Tears- Shania Twian,


Black eyes, I don't need 'em
Blue tears, gimme freedom
Positively never goin' back
I won't live where things are so out of whack
No more rollin' with the punches
No more usin' or abusin'

I'd rather die standing
Than live on my knees
Begging please-no more

Black eyes-I don't need 'em
Blue tears-gimme freedom
Black eyes-all behind me
Blue tears'll never find me now

Definitley found my self esteem
Finally-I'm forever free to dream
No more cryin' in the corner
No excuses-no more bruises

I'd rather die standing
Than live on my knees
Begging please-no more

Black eyes-I don't need 'em
Blue tears-gimme freedom
Black eyes-all behind me
Blue tears'll never find me now

I'd rather die standing
Than live on my knees, begging please...

Black eyes-I don't need 'em
Blue tears-gimme freedom
Black eyes-all behind me
Blue tears'll never find me now

It's all behind me, they'll never find me now

Find your self-esteem and be forever free to dream


Broken Wing- Martina McBride

She loved like he was the last man on earth. gave him everything she
ever had.
He'd break her spirit down, then come lovin' up on her. give a
little, then
Take it back. she'd tell him about her dreams - he'd just shoot 'em
down. lord,
He loved to make her cry. "you're crazy for believin' you'll ever
leave the
Ground." he said "only angels know how to fly."
And with a broken wing, she still sings. she' keeps an eye on the
sky. with a
Broken wing, she carries her dreams. man, you ought to see her fly.
One sunday mornin', she didn't go to church. he wondered why she
didn't leave.
He went up to her bedroom, found a note by the window, with the
curtains
Blowin' in the breeze, and with a broken wing, she still sings. she
keeps an
Eye on the sky. with a broken wing, she carries her dreams. man, you
ought to
See her fly. with a broken wing, she carries her dreams. man, you
ought to see
Her fly. (with a broken wing oooooh)


Goodbye Earl- Dixie Chicks

Survivor- Destiney's Child

I Get Out-Lauryn Hill


Bridge over Troubled Water- Simon and Garfunkel

Please Don't Believe Me-Terry Sue Crawford

Angel- Martina McBride

Sleep- Stabbing Westward

Dear Mr.Jesus

Drake Bell- "Somehow"

Independence Day--Martina McBride

The 11th Commandment--Collin Raye

elliott smith - abused

Keep on Livin'-Le tigre

easier to run by linkin park

hold my hand - kimya dawson

bocuma - boards of canada

Sister Soleil-Little Girl

Pearl Jam-Jeremy, Daughter

Madonna-Oh Father

The Talking Heads-Born Under Punches

'names' by cat power.

 

 

3734Re: songs re: abuse

 

2 Nov. 11:09 am

Me and Emily- Rachel Proctor

Bridge over Troubled Water- Simon and Garfunkel

Please Don't Believe Me-Terry Sue Crawford
Verse 1
Jimmy's walking home from school talking with his friend
But when they get to Jimmy's house he can‚t invite him in
Jimmy says his mom's not well and tells his friend good-bye
He keeps a secret as he slowly walks inside


Cause Mom's been drinking and right now she doesn't care
About this awful burden her child must bear, he's begging


Chorus
Please don't believe me when I say I'm ok
Look a little deeper for the words that I can't say
I'm too small to stand alone, I sure could use a friend
Help me learn to trust someone again
Don't leave me
Please don‚t believe me


Verse 2
There's a house that's dark and quiet where little Amy sleeps
There's footsteps in the bedroom where someone shouldn't be
Somebody whispers I'll hurt you if you tell
Amy keeps the secret and blames it on herself, her smile is just a
shell


Chorus


Bridge


Oh the years fly by for the ones who survive
Till they look like grown ups, and nobody hears them
Nobody hears them cry


chorus


Angel- Martina McBride


Sleep- Stabbing Westward
She's beem here so many times
Before she can't remember
When she last felt anything at all
But this fear and anger
She states intently at the door,
Listens for his footsteps
She knows exactly what's in store
And the knowing makes it worse
When he calls her daddy's little girl,
She doesn't keep him
And when he crushed her
She can't feel her screems are silent
Hides in the corner of her mind
Where she plays contentedly
She leaves this night more far behind
Escapes inside her dreams

Floating high above her bed
Staring at her father's head
Wishing one of them were dead
So this hell could finally end

Dear Mr.Jesus


Drake Bell- "Somehow"
She stares at the moon
Her ribbons out of tune
Memories of the past
At the botSweetie of her glass
And resting on her cheek
The imprint of his ring
A symbol of the weak
Commissioned by the king
Did he tie you down?
Did you make a sound?

[Chorus]
She falls to her knees
Screaming God please
Make something of me
Cause I never wanted anything like what I wanna be right now
An angel again
An angel again somehow

She remembers his old boots
And the shotgun that he shoots
And all she could take
Lies at the botSweetie of a lake
So lift your cig and drag
As you figure out a plan
To hide it all away
How could she ever love this man
Did you weigh him down?
Did he make a sound?

[Chorus]

And when you carry weight in your life (life)
And all the plans you make in your life (life)
The original decision was right

[Chorus]

Did he tie you down?
Did you make a sound?
Did he weigh you down?
Did he make a sound?

Independence Day--Martina McBride

The 11th Commandment--Collin Raye
She hears his heavy breathing in the dark,
his footsteps coming closer down the hall.
She's so ashamed, she's daddy's secret love.
She wants to cry, she wants to die,
but he can't get enough.

The bruises on his face will go away,
mom keeps him home from school till they fade.
She's sorry he was born and tells him so.
He takes it in, he hanges his chin,
he ducks another blow.

Did God overlook it?
What ought have been written,
the Eleventh Commandment;
Honor Thy Children.

He cries for hours, cries and never stops.
He shakes so hard his little cradle rocks.
He'll never have the chance to be brand new,
he'll never walk, he'll never talk,
he's addicted too.

Did God overlook it?
What ought have been written,
the Eleventh Commandment;
Honor Thy Children.

Thou Shalt Not Kill;
Thou Shalt Not Steal;
Thou Shalt Not Take the Lords Name in Vain;
Thou Shalt Not Cause Thy Children Pain.

God does not overlook it.
What ought have been written.
The Eleventh Commandment;
Honor Thy Children.
Honor Thy Children.




elliott smith - abused
Keep on Livin'-Le tigre

You hide inside, so not okay
(keep on, keep on livin')
What if you remember more today?
(Keep on, keep on livin')
The phone rings but there's too much to say
(keep on, keep on livin')
You tell them to go when you wish they would stay
(keep on, keep on livin')
You gotta keep on (keep on livin')...
Disproportionate reactions just won't fade
(keep on, keep on livin')
Every dude you see puts you in a rage
(keep on, keep on livin')
Or stupid shit keeps making you cry
(keep on, keep on livin')
Your friends are worried you won't tell them why
(keep on, keep on livin')
You gotta keep on (keep on livin!)...
Look up to the sky sky sky.
Take back your own tonight.
You'll find more than you see.
It's time now now get ready.
So you can taste that sweet sweet cake
And feel the warm water in a lake (y'know).
What about that nice cool breeze?
And hear the buzzing of the bumble bees.
Just live beyond those neighborhood lives
And go past the yard outside
And push through your greatest fears
And live past your memories ters
Cuz you don't need to scratch inside.
Just please hold onto your pride and...
So don't let them bring you down
And don't let them fuck you around cuz those are you arms,
That is your heat and no no they can't tear you apart.
They can't take it away, no!
This is your time this is your life and...
(keep on livin!)...

easier to run by linkin park
hold my hand - kimya dawson
bocuma - boards of canada
Sister Soleil-Little Girl
Pearl Jam-Jeremy, Daughter
Madonna-Oh Father
The Talking Heads-Born Under Punches
'names' by cat power.

•  

3735last nights dream

 

 

2 Nov. 1:56 pm

 

 

mom & I driving, shopping in some country duck crap store with a wierd
doll that had some poem and musical notes on gold in its mouth, was
UB's LJ entry about her music teacher...Driving around, saw lots of
baby horses. lost? but not very worried about it.