2005-11-02

evile: (declutter)
2005-11-02 12:25 pm
Entry tags:

3729Halloween


    2 Nov. 6:59 am

     

     

    Off work around 4, home & change into pirate/pastafarian outfit.
    Picked up Terriblelyne from work, lots of traffic, running late! Traffic
    on the way back not so bad, got to Hoover's 6:16. Kulilinei, Mindi & Zack
    already there, argonarcher. showed up. They seated us even tho we were
    incomplete, Gev, Onyxxlynx and Maggiemaepisces showed up right after we got seated,
    then Nikiyoy long after we were seated & ordered.

    Nice visit. Maggiemaepisces's theory on skye_ds' SCA Eq. 'big trouble' is that
    everyone has to get re-certified, its nothing personal against
    skye, they just require it every now and again. That or possibly
    some hoo-ha from the recent Bryn-Gwlad thing, since its a small site,
    they don't allow horses to roam around, you have to keep them in a
    certain area unless there's an equestrian event actually happening.
    And same w/trailers.

    Kulilinei and Nikiyoy took off after dinner, the rest of us went to the
    Vortex theatre. Sweetie was there. Eventually we were joined by Ladydreamtime &
    Rainking1. That was a nice surprise.

    Vampyress was good. Everyone liked the costuming, the set, and the
    casting of women with different body types. Ladydreamtime and Terriblelyne liked
    that the singers were in the lower ranges.

    After the play, Sweetie went home to put the finishing touches on his
    costume and I took Terriblelyne home. Then I went back home & we went to 6th
    st. for Halloween. Ran into the only other flying spaghetti monster
    on his way out, we visited with him and his posse, they gave us
    literature, the monsters 'tagged out' and off we went. We met up
    w/Peglegasus and some chick who is apparently our neighboer, and we walked
    around. We made about 1.5 rounds before Sweetie got annoyed and thirsty
    and neighbor girl decided she wanted a drink, so she and Max went
    into Casino el Camino & we went back to the car and he took off his
    FSM head. When we got back to 6th, neighbor girl had decided she was
    tired and so Max took her home. Sweetie & I went to The Ritz & had a
    pitcher. A very drunk Trinity (from the matrix) came and sat w/us,
    and we were joined by her friend "Joe" who was in a gas mask, green
    rubber gloves and matching green rubber apron. Also at The Ritz, we
    saw Tecate Man, 2 "The Jesus"'s from The Big Lebowski, a sexy cop,
    some Musketeers, fairies, a Rastafarian, and that's all I can
    remember. Out in the street, we saw Bender from Futurama, Darth Maul,
    Edward Scissorhands, bunches of pirates, lots of slutty chicks, and
    my favorite ironic costume: a 300 lb, 5'2" woman wearing horns and a
    red t-shirt that said 'little devil'--hahah.

    Then we went by Barflys and I met Sweetie's gang. That was kinda fun. A
    very good Hunter S. Thompson was wandering around there. We were
    there until last call & a little later, hanging around in the parking
    lot. Max was pretty toasted, Bianca and Deedee were going to stay
    with him and hang out until he felt a bit more sober to drive.

    Then we went home and had really nice Halloween nookie. Sweetie lasted a
    really long time :)

     

evile: (declutter)
2005-11-02 12:28 pm
Entry tags:

3730good thoughts


    2 Nov. 7:45 am

     

     

    "If you are going through hell, keep going." Winston Churchill

    Water is fluid, soft and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which
    is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and
    yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another
    paradox: what is soft is strong.
    ~Lao-Tzu

evile: (deadmoon)
2005-11-02 12:34 pm
Entry tags:

songs re: abuse

 

 

3733songs re: abuse

 

    2 Nov. 9:29 am

     

     

    plain white t's - shine
    PLAIN WHITE T'S LYRICS

    "Shine"

    You know it tears me up inside
    to see the feelings that you hide
    Hide inside that empty bottle
    I wish you saw how great you were
    I wish you saw what life was worth
    You wouldn't have to hide your problems
    And I don't care what you might think
    I think you've had too much to drink
    Can't even talk when you're this way

    Run away, run away
    But that won't make it any better
    Run away, run away
    And make Tomorrow harder to live than today

    There's so much out there you could miss
    there's so much life out there to live
    If you would just believe in yourself
    You know you're better than all of this
    you know you've got so much to give
    But you're so afraid to give of yourself

    There's a bright light shining inside you
    it shines out through your eyes
    Don't drown it away, don't be afraid, don't hide
    Let it shine

    You say you're looking for happiness
    but when it comes, you run away from it
    You tell yourself you don't deserve it
    There's not much more that I can do now the rest is up to you
    Until you love yourself, you'll never change
    You'll keep on running
    Until you deal with today


    elliott smith- roman candle

    He played himself
    Didn't need me to give him hell
    He could be cool and cruel to you and me
    Knew we'd put up with anything
    I want to hurt him
    I want to give him pain
    I'm a roman candle
    My head is full of flames
    I'm hallucinating
    Hallucinating
    I hear you cry
    Your tears are cheap
    Wet hot red swollen cheeks
    Fall alseep
    I want to hurt him
    I want to give him pain
    I'm a roman candle
    My head is full of flames
    I want to hurt him
    I want to hurt him
    I want to hurt him
    I want to give him pain
    And make him feel this pretty burn


    Black Eyes Blue Tears- Shania Twian,


    Black eyes, I don't need 'em
    Blue tears, gimme freedom
    Positively never goin' back
    I won't live where things are so out of whack
    No more rollin' with the punches
    No more usin' or abusin'

    I'd rather die standing
    Than live on my knees
    Begging please-no more

    Black eyes-I don't need 'em
    Blue tears-gimme freedom
    Black eyes-all behind me
    Blue tears'll never find me now

    Definitley found my self esteem
    Finally-I'm forever free to dream
    No more cryin' in the corner
    No excuses-no more bruises

    I'd rather die standing
    Than live on my knees
    Begging please-no more

    Black eyes-I don't need 'em
    Blue tears-gimme freedom
    Black eyes-all behind me
    Blue tears'll never find me now

    I'd rather die standing
    Than live on my knees, begging please...

    Black eyes-I don't need 'em
    Blue tears-gimme freedom
    Black eyes-all behind me
    Blue tears'll never find me now

    It's all behind me, they'll never find me now

    Find your self-esteem and be forever free to dream


    Broken Wing- Martina McBride

    She loved like he was the last man on earth. gave him everything she
    ever had.
    He'd break her spirit down, then come lovin' up on her. give a
    little, then
    Take it back. she'd tell him about her dreams - he'd just shoot 'em
    down. lord,
    He loved to make her cry. "you're crazy for believin' you'll ever
    leave the
    Ground." he said "only angels know how to fly."
    And with a broken wing, she still sings. she' keeps an eye on the
    sky. with a
    Broken wing, she carries her dreams. man, you ought to see her fly.
    One sunday mornin', she didn't go to church. he wondered why she
    didn't leave.
    He went up to her bedroom, found a note by the window, with the
    curtains
    Blowin' in the breeze, and with a broken wing, she still sings. she
    keeps an
    Eye on the sky. with a broken wing, she carries her dreams. man, you
    ought to
    See her fly. with a broken wing, she carries her dreams. man, you
    ought to see
    Her fly. (with a broken wing oooooh)


    Goodbye Earl- Dixie Chicks

    Survivor- Destiney's Child


    I Get Out-Lauryn Hill



    Bridge over Troubled Water- Simon and Garfunkel

    Please Don't Believe Me-Terry Sue Crawford

    Angel- Martina McBride

    Sleep- Stabbing Westward

    Dear Mr.Jesus

    Drake Bell- "Somehow"

    Independence Day--Martina McBride

    The 11th Commandment--Collin Raye

    elliott smith - abused

    Keep on Livin'-Le tigre

    easier to run by linkin park

    hold my hand - kimya dawson

    bocuma - boards of canada

    Sister Soleil-Little Girl

    Pearl Jam-Jeremy, Daughter

    Madonna-Oh Father

    The Talking Heads-Born Under Punches

    'names' by cat power.

     

 

3734Re: songs re: abuse

 

    2 Nov. 11:09 am




    Me and Emily- Rachel Proctor

    Bridge over Troubled Water- Simon and Garfunkel

    Please Don't Believe Me-Terry Sue Crawford
    Verse 1
    Jimmy's walking home from school talking with his friend
    But when they get to Jimmy's house he can‚t invite him in
    Jimmy says his mom's not well and tells his friend good-bye
    He keeps a secret as he slowly walks inside


    Cause Mom's been drinking and right now she doesn't care
    About this awful burden her child must bear, he's begging


    Chorus
    Please don't believe me when I say I'm ok
    Look a little deeper for the words that I can't say
    I'm too small to stand alone, I sure could use a friend
    Help me learn to trust someone again
    Don't leave me
    Please don‚t believe me


    Verse 2
    There's a house that's dark and quiet where little Amy sleeps
    There's footsteps in the bedroom where someone shouldn't be
    Somebody whispers I'll hurt you if you tell
    Amy keeps the secret and blames it on herself, her smile is just a
    shell


    Chorus


    Bridge


    Oh the years fly by for the ones who survive
    Till they look like grown ups, and nobody hears them
    Nobody hears them cry


    chorus


    Angel- Martina McBride


    Sleep- Stabbing Westward
    She's beem here so many times
    Before she can't remember
    When she last felt anything at all
    But this fear and anger
    She states intently at the door,
    Listens for his footsteps
    She knows exactly what's in store
    And the knowing makes it worse
    When he calls her daddy's little girl,
    She doesn't keep him
    And when he crushed her
    She can't feel her screems are silent
    Hides in the corner of her mind
    Where she plays contentedly
    She leaves this night more far behind
    Escapes inside her dreams

    Floating high above her bed
    Staring at her father's head
    Wishing one of them were dead
    So this hell could finally end

    Dear Mr.Jesus


    Drake Bell- "Somehow"
    She stares at the moon
    Her ribbons out of tune
    Memories of the past
    At the botSweetie of her glass
    And resting on her cheek
    The imprint of his ring
    A symbol of the weak
    Commissioned by the king
    Did he tie you down?
    Did you make a sound?

    [Chorus]
    She falls to her knees
    Screaming God please
    Make something of me
    Cause I never wanted anything like what I wanna be right now
    An angel again
    An angel again somehow

    She remembers his old boots
    And the shotgun that he shoots
    And all she could take
    Lies at the botSweetie of a lake
    So lift your cig and drag
    As you figure out a plan
    To hide it all away
    How could she ever love this man
    Did you weigh him down?
    Did he make a sound?

    [Chorus]

    And when you carry weight in your life (life)
    And all the plans you make in your life (life)
    The original decision was right

    [Chorus]

    Did he tie you down?
    Did you make a sound?
    Did he weigh you down?
    Did he make a sound?

    Independence Day--Martina McBride

    The 11th Commandment--Collin Raye
    She hears his heavy breathing in the dark,
    his footsteps coming closer down the hall.
    She's so ashamed, she's daddy's secret love.
    She wants to cry, she wants to die,
    but he can't get enough.

    The bruises on his face will go away,
    mom keeps him home from school till they fade.
    She's sorry he was born and tells him so.
    He takes it in, he hanges his chin,
    he ducks another blow.

    Did God overlook it?
    What ought have been written,
    the Eleventh Commandment;
    Honor Thy Children.

    He cries for hours, cries and never stops.
    He shakes so hard his little cradle rocks.
    He'll never have the chance to be brand new,
    he'll never walk, he'll never talk,
    he's addicted too.

    Did God overlook it?
    What ought have been written,
    the Eleventh Commandment;
    Honor Thy Children.

    Thou Shalt Not Kill;
    Thou Shalt Not Steal;
    Thou Shalt Not Take the Lords Name in Vain;
    Thou Shalt Not Cause Thy Children Pain.

    God does not overlook it.
    What ought have been written.
    The Eleventh Commandment;
    Honor Thy Children.
    Honor Thy Children.




    elliott smith - abused
    Keep on Livin'-Le tigre

    You hide inside, so not okay
    (keep on, keep on livin')
    What if you remember more today?
    (Keep on, keep on livin')
    The phone rings but there's too much to say
    (keep on, keep on livin')
    You tell them to go when you wish they would stay
    (keep on, keep on livin')
    You gotta keep on (keep on livin')...
    Disproportionate reactions just won't fade
    (keep on, keep on livin')
    Every dude you see puts you in a rage
    (keep on, keep on livin')
    Or stupid shit keeps making you cry
    (keep on, keep on livin')
    Your friends are worried you won't tell them why
    (keep on, keep on livin')
    You gotta keep on (keep on livin!)...
    Look up to the sky sky sky.
    Take back your own tonight.
    You'll find more than you see.
    It's time now now get ready.
    So you can taste that sweet sweet cake
    And feel the warm water in a lake (y'know).
    What about that nice cool breeze?
    And hear the buzzing of the bumble bees.
    Just live beyond those neighborhood lives
    And go past the yard outside
    And push through your greatest fears
    And live past your memories ters
    Cuz you don't need to scratch inside.
    Just please hold onto your pride and...
    So don't let them bring you down
    And don't let them fuck you around cuz those are you arms,
    That is your heat and no no they can't tear you apart.
    They can't take it away, no!
    This is your time this is your life and...
    (keep on livin!)...

    easier to run by linkin park
    hold my hand - kimya dawson
    bocuma - boards of canada
    Sister Soleil-Little Girl
    Pearl Jam-Jeremy, Daughter
    Madonna-Oh Father
    The Talking Heads-Born Under Punches
    'names' by cat power.

  •  

evile: (clutter)
2005-11-02 12:48 pm
Entry tags:

3735last nights dream

 

 

    2 Nov. 1:56 pm

     

     

    mom & I driving, shopping in some country duck crap store with a wierd
    doll that had some poem and musical notes on gold in its mouth, was
    UB's LJ entry about her music teacher...Driving around, saw lots of
    baby horses. lost? but not very worried about it.