Dec. 9, 2004
From: "Skye DreamSinger"
To: evilE
Subject: Forward: For your review - Agreements (Rules)
Date: Thu, 09 Dec 2004 17:18:48 +0000
I thought it was time to put these in writing as specifically as
possible. Let me know what you think:
Agreements (Rules)
1. Openness and Honesty - Communicate, Communicate, Communicate
Complete Disclosure. No secrets. Total honesty regarding our
emotional involvements. Each must inform the other BEFORE NOT AFTER
we have a sexual encounter. Sex is not just penetration. See below
Definition and Rules of Lower Risk Sex Play.
Have each other's consent.
Never use pressure to get consent.
Be clear with each other about what you want to do and don't want to
do.
2. Protection from physical and emotional harm
Guard against unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted
infection -- IMPORTANT: no body-fluid exchanges outside of the
Family, without the Family's prior consent.
Accept responsibility for your actions. The Definition of and Rules
for Safer Sex are below.
3. The Family and our Home are sacred
Treat each other as equals.
Be attentive to each other's pleasure.
Respect each other's limits.
Relationships outside the Family must never take resources (time,
money or otherwise) away from the Family; Family always comes first.
Relationships outside the Family do not come into the Family's Home
without the prior consent of the Family.
To become part of the Family: All members of the Family, including
the Children, have met and accept this prospective addition.
DEFINITION AND RULES OF SAFER SEX:
(taken from: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/sti/sex-safer.htm)
Three Steps to Safer Sex
Become honest with ourselves about the risks we take.
Decide which risks we are willing to take and which ones we aren't
willing to take.
Find ways to make our sex play as safe and satisfying as possible.
The most important ways to reduce your risk are
Keep your partner's body fluids out of your body vagina, anus, or
mouth. The body fluids to be most careful about are blood, cum, pre-
cum, vaginal fluids, and the discharge from sores caused by sexually
transmitted infections.
Don't touch sores or growths that are caused by sexually transmitted
infections.
Safer sex also means protecting your partner.
Don't allow your body fluids to get into your partner's body.
Don't have sex if you have sores or other symptoms of infection.
Have routine checkups for infections.
Get the correct treatment if you become infected.
How Infections Get Passed Along
Not all sexually transmitted infections are transmitted the same way.
Here are the basics about how infections can be passed through sex
play:
Unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse high risk for
trichomoniasis
gonorrhea
chlamydia
syphilis
chancroid
pubic lice
scabies
hepatitis B virus (HBV)
cytomegalovirus (CMV)
human papilloma viruses (HPVs)
some HPVs can cause genital warts
some can cause cancer
herpes simplex virus (HSV)
can cause oral and genital herpes
pelvic inflammatory disease (PID)
can cause sterility
human immunodeficiency virus (HIV)
can cause AIDS
Unprotected oral sex high risk for
gonorrhea
syphilis
chancroid
HSV
HBV
CMV
Sex play without sexual intercourse risk for
HSV
CMV
HPV
pubic lice
scabies
Lots of other diseases, from the flu to mononucleosis, can also be
transmitted during sex play.
Unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse have the highest risks for
the most dangerous sexually transmitted infections.
Lower-risk sex play includes
masturbation
mutual masturbation
erotic massage
body rubbing
cybersex
kissing
deep kissing
oral sex
vaginal intercourse with a male or female condom
anal intercourse with a male or female condom
Outercourse
For some people, outercourse is sex play without vaginal intercourse.
For others, it is sex play with no penetration at all oral, anal,
or vaginal. Some people also believe that any kind of penetrative sex
play is too risky to be called "safer sex." But many people do have
oral and anal sex sometimes to avoid pregnancy or to "preserve
their virginity" so we include them here.
Outercourse Alternatives to Intercourse
Kissing Many people explore different ways of kissing. They may
also explore kissing different body parts.
Masturbation Many people enjoy masturbating touching their own
sex organs for pleasure. It's the most common way we are sexual.
Partners can masturbate alone or together.
Erotic Massage Many couples touch and rub each other's sex organs
with their hands, bodies, or mouths.
Body-to-body Rubbing/Frottage Many couples rub their bodies
together especially their sex organs for pleasure and orgasm.
Fantasy Couples can read or watch sexy stories or pictures
together. It can also be exciting to share sexy fantasies. People do
it in person, on the phone or Internet, or through e-mail.
Sex Toys Vibrators, dildos, and other toys can be used to explore
and caress the body. Condoms need to be used if partners share the
same toy. Follow the cleaning instructions that come with toys.
Oral Sex Play Many people like to use their mouths on each other's
sex organs. On a woman it is called cunnilingus. On a man, it's
called fellatio. It cannot cause pregnancy. But it can
pass infection. Latex or plastic barriers reduce the risks.
Anal Sex Play Many people enjoy exploring each other's buttocks,
anus, or rectum with their hands, mouths, sex organs, or with toys.
Anal sex play cannot cause pregnancy but it can easily pass
infection. Latex or plastic barriers reduce the risks.
Condoms
Condoms are the best protection when enjoying sexual intercourse.
Condoms help make sex last longer. Condoms help prevent premature
ejaculation.
Latex and female condoms reduce the risk of
vaginitis caused by trichomoniasis
chlamydia
syphilis
PID
chancroid
gonorrhea
HIV/AIDS
Latex and female condoms may offer more limited protection against
bacterial vaginosis
CMV
genital warts
herpes
hepatitis B
cervical cancer
But do not use male and female condoms together.
The Female Condom
stays in place even if a guy loses his erection
has an external ring that may stimulate the clitoris
can be used for anal sex
can be used by people who are allergic to latex
Follow the instructions on the package insert to learn how to use
condoms.
Benedizioni chiari e scuri,
Skye DreamSinger
*********
May the Road rise to meet you,
May the Wind be always at your back,
May the Sun shine warmly on your face,
May the Rain fall softly on your fields,
Until we meet again, may the Lady hold you always in the palm of Her
hand.