2249 dreams

Jun. 4, 2004

 

 

I went to bed last night around 5:30 and didn't get up until my alarm
went off this a.m. (glad I set it). Missed air coolers & any sort of
anniversary goodness (not that I think Tom gives a shit, but whatever)

Dreamt that Sweetie & I broke up and I was living in a storage unit.

Dreamt that [coworker K.V.] was in my cube, supervising something I was
doing. She kept deleting stuff on my screen & messing up my work &
telling me that Goertz had given her a list of the stuff she was
supposed to watch me do. It was irritating.

Dreamt about showers & hot springs, or maybe just springs. Something
about a board game (Trivial Pursuit) with Mom & Sister H & maybe other
family people?

Not a restful night. My back hurts.

2251Re: Brother A & The Rubber Pig's Wedding - sineater's thoughts

Jun. 4, 2004

 

 

evilE  wrote:

whaddya think?

Talk to me. I feel like I've done something wrong
when you don't bother to email me... I know it's stupid
andbin my own head/my own problem, but there it is.

I'd like to hear from you.


--- sineater  wrote:
Date: Thu, 03 Jun 2004 21:40:33 -0500

Subject: Re: did you see the wedding photos?

Yes I did, thank you, sorry for not replying sooner. Brother A looks
happy. That's the most important part. :) Thank you for taking pics.
Brother A and I are playing phone tag now, fun. You didn';t do anything
wrong. We were out of town in um... Canton it was for Steppes
Warlord. We finally buttonholed the marshals to get us authorized for
equestrian games, Jessie and I qualified for intermediate. (Since I
could not safely spear the pig then whip my hand around at a gallop
without breaking my wrist.) So we couldn't have been reached either.
Which sucks... but, this was pretty unexpected all around. I'm sorry
K/mom didn't get a chance to be there though. Tried to call earlier,
will try again tomorrow... also will fire up ICQ Windows Crasher
Deluxe and say hi tomorrow

2252icq w/a

 

 

Jun. 4, 2004

 

 

evile: hey :) There you are.
SkyeDS: I was late today
evile: bummer!
SkyeDS: oh well, just more hours to make up in the next two weeks
evile: ick.
evile: I found Brandy Eileen's LJ & links to her photos--she's the
one who said she'd been in HFS ages ago, maybe the same time as you.
http://www.macblazer.com/gallery/nightsout/dress001
SkyeDS: ty :)
evile: She seemed nice enough just reminded me too much of The Rubber Pig for
now.
evile: Once I get to know her I am sure the resemblance & reaction
will go away--but no reason to inflict myself on someone when I'm not
in the right frame of mind to meet them and like/dislike them for who
they ARE not who they remind me of, ya know?
SkyeDS: nods
evile: Theoretically, The Rubber Pig's having back surgery today.
SkyeDS: not pleasant
evile: if it's true, no.
evile: Brother A said he was coming up to austin Sunday. Which does not
jive with 'wife is having life-threatening surgery 2 days before'
SkyeDS: weird
evile: yup.
evile: Oh well. We'll see.
SkyeDS: what time is he leaving
evile: for ..? I dont' know what time the surgery is today. Or what
time he plans to leave SA to be here for breakfast Sun...it would
have to be butt-crack early...which Brother A has NEVER done well.
SkyeDS: I mean when is he going back to SA
evile: *shrug* NO clue whatsoever, my dear.
SkyeDS: don't know what time we will come home Sunday
SkyeDS: would like to see him :(
evile: Well, hopefully eventually he & sineater will be able to touch
bases & try to make plans. If it was my sweetie in surgery today, I
would not be making ANY plans for the next while...but that's just me.
SkyeDS: me neither
evile: At this late hour, I would not try and alter your existing
plans to accomodate any of Brother A's wierdo maybe-plans.
evile: Brother A is just going to have to learn that people have lives &
plans that they are not going to ditch for his "maybe i'll be around"
stuff.
SkyeDS: :-/
evile: Sorry, but I work 40 hours a week at a shitty job I hate, my
weekends are better than gold to me and I usually have them planned
well in advance in order to spend them as wisely & well as I can.
SkyeDS: nods
SkyeDS: told Mom I have weekends planned through the end of July
already
SkyeDS: and confirmed for the reunion
evile: cool.
evile: Except for summer solstice weekend, I've got most of my summer
planned, too. Well, assuming I go to CRW I have plans thru the end of
July, anyway.
SkyeDS: is usually the case for you, new to me
evile: Sort of hoping we get a 'better offer' for July 4 weekend--as
it is, we are going to Elaine's and I don't really want to see
Patrick or his bratty kid.
evile: Pat pulled a lovely guilt trip on me for my bday, I don't
really want to speak to him.
SkyeDS: what him do?
evile: sent me a card that said something like "We've grown apart and
we should try harder to keep the friendship
going"...translation: "come to my wife's countless "sell useless shit
to your friends" parties"... I think.
SkyeDS: no thanks
evile: Hard to take it as a serious, heartfelt sentiment when it was
sort of half-assedly hand delivered 8 days after my actual bday...
evile: I ran into him after work last week and he dug around in his
briefcase until he found the card, very 'oh by the way'
SkyeDS: :(
evile: I agree that long-standing friendships should not be allowed
to die, BUT I am also to the point where I am NOT going to do all the
work to keep people in my life, and I'm not going to play doormat &
wallet for people just so they'll continue to speak to me.
SkyeDS: I need to take care of your bday too
SkyeDS: and I'm a little more than eight days late
SkyeDS: :(
SkyeDS: <head stuck in research
evile: Honestly, I don't care if anyone remembers it or not....but
there is a mixed message in Pat's belated card that I do not care for.
SkyeDS: mine is an excuse for me to go out and spoil myself
evile: Mine has long outlived its excitement/spoiling factor. It's
just another day & the hype others want to throw on it is annoying
more than anything else.
evile: Not to mention the bitchy little guilt trips that people see
my birthday as an opportune time to throw at me...
SkyeDS: why are peeps like that
evile: Because obviously I am a giant bag of cunts and I DESERVE it.
Obviously.
SkyeDS: :P
evile: Only thing that I can figure out, only thing that makes any
sense. I would not keep getting kicked in the teeth if I wasn't doing
something to bring it on myself...
evile: I just dont see how people can give me so much grief about
what a horrible terrible awful person I am and then NOT understand
why I make NO efforts to stay in touch...HELLO!?!?
SkyeDS: nods
evile: Oh well. Obviously this is another one of those Learning
Experiences that must be endured...
SkyeDS: and this too shall pass...?
evile: perhaps I just need to learn how to give back as good as I get
instead of putting up with the thoughtless jerks of the world... boy,
that sounds like fun. Wake up every day and fight with people.
SkyeDS: :/
evile: options when attacked: defend, retreat/ignore...I don't see
any other way to deal with these people who are trying to make me
feel like shit about myself.
evile: They win no matter what I do. fighting with people defeats my
image of who I think I am. No way I can un-hear or un-read the nasty
things they say, and know on some level that they're true.
evile: The only way to win is to make sure I dont' hear/read what
they say, ever again.
evile: That, or find a way not to care what they think of me. If some
stranger walked up to me at the grocery store and said "you're fat"
or whatever, I'd just laugh and walk away....harder to do when it's
people you care about.
evile: Spending time with decent human beings does tend to help...so
I need to try more of that.
SkyeDS: hard to not care what people think of you
SkyeDS: your gemini half won't allow that
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: <has same problem if not worse
evile: Oh well. Eventually I'll figure it out.
evile: It's just about time for me to run for the hills over here.
evile: This week has been endless...4 days felt like 40.
evile: I hope you have a great bday campout with all your friends &
loved ones. Drive safe :)
SkyeDS: HUGS
SkyeDS: wind to thy wings, bella
evile: *hugs* Happy Birthday!
SkyeDS: :)

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