evile | Sep. 26th, 2003

Sep. 26th, 2003

Sep. 26, 2003

me on 'unsent letters' in diaryland. I would love to say this out
loud to her face....but I never will.

2003-09-26: 3:59 p.m.

What the everliving FUCK is wrong with you??! God DAMN it, you stupid
stupid BITCH. You did drugs when we were stupid high school kids and
I thought you were a moron THEN. Especially when you did stupid crap
like stealing and pawning your mom's jewelry to pay for your nasty
little crank habit.

Here is a news flash for you, you dumb fucking cunt. When you grow up
and HAVE KIDS for fuck's sake, QUIT THE DRUGS!

Did you think about those three precious lives even ONCE while you
and your husband were dealing or doing or both out of your HOME. The
one you were supposed to keep clean and safe for your babies?

You goddamned hypocritical BITCH. I don't want to EVER hear you or
your filthy crap-sack criminal husband accuse ME of hating children.
What you have done to yours is the most HATEFUL and WRONG thing I
have ever seen.

And now that you're both in JAIL, I am most likely going to end up
having the responsibility of chilren, even though I never wanted it.
And I will do a goddamned sight better with your kids than you ever
did.

I could beat you to a bloody senseless pulp without even thinking
twice. You dumb twat. You selfish bitch. You rotten stinking EVIL
hypocrite. You immoral drug freak. There are no words for how awful
you are. There is no place in Hell bad enough for you.

Sep. 26, 2003

Sunday: dog sick
Monday: Dog sick, cleaning carpets
Tuesday: Dog sick, Took her to the vet. Heard the words 'kidney
failure' & thought the worst
Wednesday: Blood test says it's not kidney failure, yay! Xrays reveal
tumor & 'mega esophagus'. Have to put the dog to sleep
Thursday: uneventful at work. Nice dinner with Alex & [Sineater] & polys,
great dance, nice visit with Stephanie & folks.
Friday: Shitstorm-- C V calls to tell Sweetie about [M - Xs husband] and X being
arrested, about her having the kids, etc. Letter from Mary K saying
that she and [sister H's dad/my ex stepdad]Gary are Divorcing. I am on my way to give [Aunt L] a copy of the UT informal classes schedule & she calls to say that Elaine is
in the hospital & she's on her way there. I drop off the book, [Uncle B] is
there. He says it's serious & that the 'maids' found her
unresponsive. He was heading to the hospital.

annnnd Johnny Cash, John Ritter, and Robert Palmer are dead.

Enough enough enough.

And we still have to go through picking up Nickie's ashes at the
vet's next Thursday...and whatever happens to Elaine. Please, God,
keep her well...[Aunt L] needs a friend to be retired ladies who lunch
with. Please...

Okay, this is me giving fair warning: if you see me for the remainder of this week, I will more than likely be on a BIG MEAN DRINKING BINGE.

This week has sucked shit. This week has blown goats. This week has been a big old shit cake with crap icing, whipped crap, and a big nasty rotting tumor that looks like a cherry on top.

* We had to put our dog to sleep.

* My ex friend X and her husband were arrested for drugs at home, in front of their children. I am not sure if they were buying, selling, or dealing, but there were razor blades and all sorts of crap all over their house. The children were given to their step-grandmother for now, but it does not seem to be a permanent placement. (And, yes, I wrote this. And I'm not sorry. I'm thinking of sending it to her in care of wherever she's incarcerated.)

*My ex stepdad and his wife are divorcing.

*My auntie's best friend is in the hospital, and "it's serious".

This week has been rotten and evil and I'm tired of it. My face hurts from crying. My throat hurts. My eyes hurt. I am tired. And I just got a nice guilt trippy little phone call that I should be hanging out in the ER waiting room to see how things go. Like I'd do anyboy any good by being there crying in front of people instead of being at home crying alone.

FTS. I am calling my mommy. And then I am going to bed.

Current Mood: indescribable

Sep. 26, 2003

Me to J-Law:

Oh, speaking of 'gals', [Skye_ds] hasn't gotten back to
me about Sunday...last night at dinner [Sineater] mentioned
her saying something like "waiting to hear from evilE
what the plan is" or some crap. Is this girl just
socially retarded, or deliberately fucking shit up so
we can have another 'silence-a-thon'?

She wrote me like 2 weeks ago and said "Hey, want to
hang out some Sunday?" and I said "Sure, the 21st
might be iffy, but the 28th would be great" then she
wrote back and said "28th is better for me, too" so
then I said something like "So, do you want to meet
somewhere for lunch at a certain time on Sunday the
28th, or do you want to come by my house just whenever
you get into town?" No reply.

Then I read in the paper that the Pecan St. festival
is this weekend, so I sent her the internet link for
that and said "another possibility for Sunday?" Again,
no response.

I feel very...wierd...about this. Was I supposed to
make all the plans & say "Be X place at Y time!" or
was I supposed to offer to drive to Rockdale and pick
her up, or meet somewhere halfway or WHAT? And, of
course, there's the little suspicious corner of my
mind that is saying "of course it's going to go tits
up and somehow end up being all your fault, because it
always does and it always is. stupid!"

I really don't want to call, because then I'll end up
listening to boring old stories about her HS and
College glory days and/or her "My Mom is an evil
bitch" stories for like 5 hours. I just dont' have
that kind of time to part with...

Oh well, in the grand scheme of things, it's not that
important. I got to see [Sineater] last night & we had a
nice visit. That's the important part :)

Sep. 26, 2003

Sent: Friday, September 26, 2003 7:55 AM
To: [Skye_ds]
Subject: Sunday?

I haven't heard back from you about firming up Sunday
plans. Did any of my suggestions seem work-able? Would
you rather try and meet at some halfway-point landmark
and then just take one vehicle into Austin, save some
gas & wear & tear on a car?

Please let me know soon where/when you'd like to meet
on Sunday.

XO!

-E
=======================================================
From: A
To: E
Subject: RE: Sunday?
Date: Fri, 26 Sep 2003 13:41:10 -0500

Sorry I've been lax in the response department, I have been fighting
with Yale over incorrect paychecks again.

Thank you btw for taking [Sineater] to poly night ;) Hope that he will want
to keep doing that. Trying to talk him into joining some newsgroups,
like whatever teh two local ngs are, and yahoo's polyfidelity2 (the
one I'm on).

Re Sunday, one car sounds good, so may we meet at your place and what
time is convenient? Was going to stop by Sharjinka's party after the
park on the way home Saturday night. Very unlike me, but in all the
furor over my paycheck, I entirely forgot that the Baby ([Sonar0m]) is
with me on Sundays. Are he and [Sineater] welcome to come along? Matters
not to me whether it is a girls' day out or not, so whatever you want
to do, we do :) Shopping and the festival both sound equally good
to me, so whichever tickles you most :).

I am so sorry for you and Sweetie, about Nikki. For Nikki's sake, I am
content, because I know that you both made sure that she passed from
her painful existence into the Summerlands as painlessly as possible.

Benedizione chiari e scuri,
Skye DreamSinger
*** *** ***
May the Road rise to meet you,
May the Winds be always at your back,
May the Sun shine warmly on your face,
May the Rain fall softly on your fields.
Until we meet again, may the Lord and Lady
Hold you always in the palms of Their hands.
================

Date: Fri, 26 Sep 2003 12:00:24 -0700 (PDT)
From: mE
Subject: RE: Sunday?
To: A

[Sineater] told me a little about your paycheck hassles.
That totally sucks. I hope TWC has been helpful...but
they're not, usually.

I will likely be going by Jinx's party, too. But
I'm not sure what time. Sweetie & I are going to
Fredericksburg for the day. So, whenever we get back
in, I'll head by after that.

It might be too rainy to go to Pecan St. festival.
Then again, bad weather will keep it from being
crowded. I guess we can play it by ear.

The guys are perfectly welcome--they may be bored out
of their minds, but we'll have someone to carry
packages. :)

What do you think of starting off from my house,
one-ish on Sunday? It can be earlier or later, I know
you've got to get up, get people moving, and drive an
hour, so arrival time should be totally at YOUR
convenience. All I have to do is roll out of bed and
answer the door ;) But if I don't hear from you
between now and then, I'll just assume 1-ish.

Looking forward to it!

=E

Sep. 26, 2003

Sweetie emailed me with this.

Subject: Just when you thought this week couldn't get any worse...

C (X's stepdad M's new wife) called with bad news about [M - X's husband] and X,
which I won't repeat via email. Call me at home.
==========
I called him & he said C had called & left all her #'s and wanted
me to call if I wanted to hear the whole story, or whatever.
Translated: call if I want to volunteer for kid-duty. Gah.
==============
Me to J-Law:

In case you were wondering, YES, this week *can* get
crappier. X and [M - X's husband] were arrested for drugs, their
house was apparently so filthy and full of animals
that it has been boarded up, and so now C
(X's stepdad's wife [Xs mom passed and he remarried]) has the kids. In the meantime, the job
market here was/is so bad that [X's stepdad]. is in CA on a
contract gig, so here is poor Childfree C, quiet
cat lover, collector of breakable gorgeous things,
with those 3 kids in her house. They have plenty of
room, the kids will be fine...BUT...dear GHOD. She is
going to be clinging to the ceiling in no time. She's
a big neat-nick & very fussy about manners, etiquette,
etc. Those kids are going to ruin her sanity. I feel
awful, but I don't feel up to taking on any
responsibilities in this situation. *sigh* this is
just SAD. Unbelievably fucking sad. And, if they were
into drugs back in April when the crap hit the fan, it
explains a lot about that whole bizarre situation.