1458Monday

 

 

 

Jun. 3, 2003

Had a pleasant enough evening with UB. Sineater was in town picking up
the rent on their trailer, so he stopped by. I asked him to read the
[X husband] & X letters, and we talked about X's old habits in HS and
stuff, which really put things into perspective for me. The [X's husband] 
letter (of which I sent you a copy) really creeped him out; he
compared the handwriting to that of a serial killer & said that the
letter alone should be adequate cause to take out a restraining
order. I don't want to be frivolous or abuse the legal system, but it
really concerns me that he is still so 'irate' and would corner [brother A]
in home depot over a month after the 'breakup' and regale him with
hellacious stuff about me. That just seems..extreme.

Anyway, we went to Bennigans & we shared an order of cheese sticks &
then Sineater and Skye_DS shared some kind of deep fried sandwich. I don't
think the girl eats stuff that isn't fried...jeez.

But it was an OK evening. Sineater & I gave her advice on how to deal
with HFS stuff & she & Sineater gave me advice on how to deal with X
drama. It boiled down to basically the same thing: we are dealing
with drama junkies so the best way to deal with them is to take the
high ground and not give them any more material to work with.

Sweetie called at 6:30 and said he was in Arkadelphia (?) whre he'd
stayed the night. He said he might try & sleep a few more hours &
then start home. I'm looking forward to my sweetie being home!!

1459The Ultimate Diet Breaker

 

Jun. 3, 2003

 

 

The Ultimate Diet Breaker

EDITOR'S NOTE:

Change your mind and your body will follow!

by Dr. John H. Sklare

eDiets Psychologist

The words we use have a powerful influence on our belief system and
our behavior. I consistently hear people say things such as, "I
couldn't stop eating" or "I can't control myself." These are the
words that build your prison.

Saying, "I did not stop eating" or "I did not control myself," would
be closer to the truth. This is one of the issues that speak to the
heart of the matter. The difference between these statements is
significant. One implies control and the other helplessness.
There is a concept in psychology called learned helplessness. The
definition is fairly self-explanatory. It is a process whereby you
learn to be helpless. This occurs when you have experiences that you
believe are uncontrollable events... like the eating episode I just
described.

This is a repetitive experience with the same "uncontrollable"
and "helpless" result. These past events give rise to and reinforce
your future expectations. This is how you get lost in this vicious
cycle. When some emotional event triggers your desire to eat, you get
back in touch with this feeling of being helpless and having no
control.

It is your belief that you can't stop eating that reinforces your
loss of control and your predetermined sense of fate. This is a very
important concept. This is where the "distraction strategies" that I
constantly refer to come in handy. There are so many possibilities:
taking a walk, reading a book, writing in your journal, listening to
relaxing music, calling a friend, posting a message at the eDiets
<http://www.ediets.com/news/go.cfm> Emotional Support Center... the
list is a long one.

So, what's the answer to interrupting this kind of negative thinking?
It's not for me to give you some specific activity to do at that
moment. I don't have the magic bullet. What works for one often has
no impact on another. The answer lies inside you.

As someone said to me recently, this is an "inside job." You already
have what it takes. You just haven't been looking inside -- you've
been searching outside for the answer. Don't over-intellectualize
this. Too much thinking and you become a victim of analysis
paralysis. Look for that moment and make the healthier choice.

The way out of this is through mindful and purposeful decision-
making. There is one moment... one single moment right before you
take the first bite that leads you down the road to ruin. I refer to
these as moments of truth. If you can isolate and manage that moment,
you can solve this problem.
======================

Dr. John Sklare, director of the eDiets Emotional Support Center,
shares his expertise on "emotional eating" with the eDiets community.
Dr. Sklare is also the author of the eDiets Audio Companion Program --
the powerful and innovative new offline support program for your
online eDiets program. With the current emphasis on Mind/Body
medicine and natural healing, Dr. Sklare stands firmly on the leading
edge!

 

•  

1461think richer, be richer.

 

 

Jun. 3, 2003

 

 

I caught myself in a silly bit of thinking today: I
had been sort of eyeing the paper parasols at Hobby
Lobby, but couldn't decide what color I wanted (they
had bright pink, yellow, bright green, purple, and
red) It occurred to me that at $3 a pop, I could just
get more than one. Heck, I could even get all 5. It
was such a...revelation. Silly? But kind of liberating
& happy-making all the same.

Life is good. I am really enjoying building my little
savings account, paying just a bit more than minimum
on the credit cards, and going cash-only. It will be
slow getting the cards to 0, but this feels very
healthy and isn't sending me on any panic-driven
spending sprees.