1451ICQ w/A

 

Jun. 1, 2003

 

 

evile: I remembered to put the Big CMA letter in my car, for whenever
I see you next!
SkyeDS: how did pact go?
SkyeDS: :)
evile: PACT is no more. The $ went to the CMA land fund, which I
don't totally agree with, but
apparently the land is open to all pagan groups to reserve for
various functions, which I didn't know...so
that's a maybe OK solution

SkyeDS: maybe so...where is the land?
evile: It didn't go to anywhere the board, the replacement board, or
the interim board could touch it, it
went straight to the bank. The land is south-ish of Smithville, near
Cistern, TX.
evile: They're holding a big campout open to all sometime in late
June, from what I understand.
evile: I pulled the ultimate airhead stupidass move and locked my
keys in my car. So after dealing with
that, it was too late and I was too hot, tired and pissed off to go
back to Pease Park.
SkyeDS: damn dialup
evile: Sorry 'bout that. Where do I need to start over?
SkyeDS: where is the land?
evile: South of Smithville, Cistern TX. They are having a big campout
end of June from what I
understand, open to non-CMA for raising $$ to pay the land fund.
SkyeDS: not getting my money even if I had it to give
evile: Yeah, I was a little annoyed when that was the consensus, but
I got a major smackdown from this
big a-hole named Josh when I pulled out my list of other local non-
profits who could probably make better
use of the remaining PACT treasury
evile: And then this fucking bimbo was all like "Well, we would have
to make sure they're pagan-friendly
before we gave them anything, and at least we know CMA is pagan-
friendly"
SkyeDS: no, only friendly to certain pagans.
evile: Umm...how are environmental causes, feeding the hungry, taking
care of stray animals, or
preventing abuse NOT good pagan causes, whether they like us or not?
I'd rather serve the community I
live in and who cares what they think of what I do under the full
moon?
SkyeDS: exactly
evile: Anyway, I got a good smackdown, and I figured it wasn't worth
fighting about since PACT is
dissolving, anyway, and I am not EVER joining another pagan group
again.
SkyeDS: can't say as I blame you considerin
evile: Fucking disorganized selfish heads-up-their-butts buncha
hypocrites...
SkyeDS: complete agreement here
SkyeDS: they need to have rituals on the 3d floor of the Omni with
the potted rubber plants.
evile: I guess if I want to do pagan stuff, I do it by myself, and if
I want to do community service, I do it by
myself, too. No spiritual community for me. Nothing bigger to belong
to for me. fuckit.
evile: Oh...in other great happy news, X sent my mom a 12 pg
letter about me and my polyamorous
ways. hahah! Stupidass.
SkyeDS: you can come to my place to do stuff if you want, but bring
Off or something ;)
SkyeDS: um...yeah.
evile: She also emailed me to tell me that I should quit writing
about her and her family on my 'web pages'
because her husband is IRATE. Think I need a restraining order?
SkyeDS: might try superglue and duct tape first...
evile: Her letter to my mom mentioning [X's husband M ]'s anger management
problems, plus the incoherent mess he
wrote and delivered in person to my home might make some convincing
evidence...
evile: I've actually refrained from mentioning on my 'blog that I'm
home alone this week, because I've
been afraid he might come over and break windows or something...
SkyeDS: if we didn't live so far from where you worked, I could come
stay there or you could come stay
here :(((
evile: I was /am sad, but over it, and then [Brother A] ran into [X's husband M ] at
Home Depot like 2 weeks ago and M 
could NOT stop badmouthing me. To the point where A was tempted to
mash his head in..And you
know A is a 'gentle giant'...so it must have been bad.
SkyeDS: nodnods
evile: I just don't understand what I did that merits that much
anger, and I don't understand why he is
continuing to dwell on it. I have not said or done ANYTHING to or
about them (a 'mutual acquaintance'
emailed her and said I was writing about her, but I didn't use any
names, and probably wasn't talking abou
ther, anyway...so WTF)
SkyeDS: I had an attack launched on me by a so called friend in HFS
too, I am also wondering WTF.
Must be contagious.
evile: Just bizarre. It is not too much fun to have to worry about
getting stalked if you mention where
you're going or what you'r edoing on your own damn web-stuff.
SkyeDS: that is insane. maybe you should check into a restrainig
order
evile: Who knows? maybe I'm just being paranoid. I don't want the
cops to laugh in my face.
SkyeDS: I wish they were professionals like DPS, never met an
unprofessional trooper
evile: desk jockeys would most likely mock me and send me away...
SkyeDS: since I work in town M-W, I could see about staying with you
tomorrow night and Tuesday at
least
evile: I wouldn't want to impose...and Sweetie's supposed to be starting
back today, but he did say he'd call on
his way out of Greencastle. And he hasn't yet... I feel like I"m just
being stupid.
SkyeDS: the way [X's husband M]'s been behaving, I doubt it
evile: I'd appreciate it, but I don't want to mess up any of your
plans..
SkyeDS: you won't. I would bring Sineater with me, but then the horses
wouldn't get fed.
evile: Yeah...and who would keep Arthur company?
SkyeDS: that too
evile: Family comes first, I totally understand that.
SkyeDS: I can sleep close to the door in my uniform and look scary :)
evile: I wish my mom hadn't written to X. I guess that's what
started this latest round of nonsense.

Nah, you could have the guest room :)
SkyeDS: wonder what she wanted to talk to X about.
evile: Well, I talked with my mom on the phone after X and
I 'broke up'...I was very sad, but I didn't
talk any shit about her. I guess my mom felt like she needed to take
a side, so she wrote something to X,
and then X sent the 12 page 'oh poor me' saga, and Mom forwarded
it to me with no comments.
SkyeDS: wtf is wrong with people lately
evile: X basically felt that I was only going to hang out with her
if she was willing to join me at either
No Kidding or Poly stuff. I woul dhave been open to other
suggestions, but she didn't make any, and so I
was just like "well, here is what I already have planned this week,
want to join me?"...but apparently that
is not how she interpreted it.
evile: She also went back to that bullshit last summer when I told
that rotten child Ashley not to be a
doormat, Ashley interpeted it as encouraging her to get revenge on
people, and X & I hashed that & I
thought it was OK. But no, she's still pissed about it.
evile: X also represented my accidental 'date' with
ThomasRhymer/J as me 'getting back into dating'.
SkyeDS: and they say I bear grudges
evile: And threw in a bunch of vague stuff about me criticizing her
parenting. What Ever.
evile: She did this whole thing of "You are a mother and I am a
mother, so WE understand things about
being mothers that E never will, and so of COURSE you MUST understand
what I am doing is the best
for my children"
SkyeDS: I got accused of abusing Sineater and abusing the horses this
week, by someone who has no clue
about either subject.
evile: Well, at least the person brought the concerns to you instead
of badmouthing you to other people..
SkyeDS: <rolls eyes>
SkyeDS: um no she didn't
SkyeDS: and that's part of the problem
SkyeDS: she's trying to get me thrown out of HFS
evile: My turn to get disconnected.

So...how did you find out about the person allegedly talking about
you? And how do you know somebody
isn't just trying to stir crap between yo uand this other person?
SkyeDS: everyone told me, and then she made the mistake of getting
caught at it two weekends in a row
evile: Bizarre.
SkyeDS: but thankfully in getting caught at it now it's out in the
open
SkyeDS: I hate people who talk smack behind back and then are
saccharine sweet to face
SkyeDS: wtf am I supposed to do with that?
evile: Ignore 'em, I guess. Don't give them any ammo.
SkyeDS: well her true colors are starting to peak through. She's
miserable and wants me to be miserable,
and she can forget that. Besides I'm too old and fat to go to war
anymore.
SkyeDS: wastes too much energy.
evile: That's too bad.
evile: (not that you aren't going to war, but that someone is trying
to drag you down to their level)
SkyeDS: people, most of them, just aren't worth wasting the energy
and the air on.
evile: yup.
evile: I don't see how one person would have enough pull to get you
thrown out. Drandmir has a pedophile
in its ranks, for godssake
SkyeDS: still don't know wtf X thought to accomplish. You and
your mother have always seemed very
tight to me.
evile: I think X is so nuts that she really does think she was right
and I am wrong.
evile: I don't know whether or not to try & set mom straight about
the poly thing. I am not doing anything
I'm ashamed of, and it's nobodys business but me and Sweetie's...
SkyeDS: there are many things about my current situation with Sineater
that this person is divulging, but only
half truths fleshed out with lies, all of it nobody's business
evile: Basically, besides my faire friends, the Polys are the only
group I can hang out with WITHOUT
Sweetie and have them be OK with that, and not assume I'm after their
mens.
evile: Kaleon tried to tell me some stuff about y'all, but...really,
it made me so sick and sad I couldn't listen
and wasn't interested. Bottom line: Sineater has chosen his life,
whatever it is, it's none of my business, and
unless he asks my help or advice, It remains none of my business
SkyeDS: Kaleon doesn't know as much as he thinks he does.
SkyeDS: I am continually surprised by how little my so called friends
remember of what they've seen first
hand, and how stupid they are capable of being.
evile: You can be pretty high-handed with sonar0m and Sineater...some
might mistake that for 'abuse' if they
don't understand the relationship dynamic.
evile: Bottom line: it isn't any of their business.
SkyeDS: some who seem to forget that Sineater has tried to strangle me,
has busted my bottom lip wide open
in front of my parents, called teh Sherriff on me when I was in bed
asleep, and just recently put a rope
burn scar on my arm that will never go away.
SkyeDS: I only mention these things because there IS a dynamic that
people aren't aware of
evile: I really don't think the rope thing was intentional.
SkyeDS: no, it was stupid.
SkyeDS: and there's good reason I don't go around airing our dirty
laundry.
SkyeDS: but because I don't, everything looks lopsided from the
outside.
evile: I've made my peace; you obviously have reasons for staying
together despite mutual lapses in
judgement that have hurt one another.
SkyeDS: exactly. and whatever goes on between you and Sweetie, if you
want my opinion, you know you can
ask for it, until you do, it's none of my business no matter what it
looks like to me. There are undoubtedly
things I don't know.
evile: If you came to me wanting me to help you get out of the
relationship and away from Sineater, I'd help
you. If Sineater came to me, I'd help him. But since neither of you want
my help or advice, I try very hard not
to involve myself.
evile: I see other people's relationships and I say there is no way I
would put up with this or that, but I'm
sure there's plenty in my relationship that looks unfair and sick
from outside, too.
SkyeDS: despite the lifelong overweening Gemini curiosity, this cat
has finally learned that there IS such
a thing as TMI, truly.
evile: yup.
evile: There comes a time when you have to preserve what you can of
your sanity & your relationships,
and if that involves a fair dab of intentional blindness, so be it.
SkyeDS: anyway, anyone who believes her half truths rather than
coming to me, is not worth it either.
evile: Yup. If these people truly cared about any of the people
involved, they would not be stirring, they'd
be coming to you, Sineater, sonar0m, etc. directly.
evile: Drama junkies.
SkyeDS: I lost my temper over her interference with sonar0m and then
got that out of my system pretty
quickly because after I lost my temper it was pretty laughable.
SkyeDS: Sonar0m's mother always considered her untrustworthy until she
said something said woman
wanted to hear, which was, Skye is using sonar0m.
SkyeDS: after I got through being pissed for all of a few minutes, I
fell down laughing.
evile: yeah.
SkyeDS: I mean, practically speaking, the boy is useless (no offense).
evile: true enough. but probably pretty OK in the sack.
SkyeDS: he has nothing to use...no money, no job, no car, no house,
and every role he fills in my life, was
already filled by Kaleon and Sineater better than sonar0m fills it.
SkyeDS: including bed.
SkyeDS: not that he's bad, he's just...young.
SkyeDS: but anyway, he costs me so much time and money and heartache
sometimes, that if anyone's
using anyone else, it's the other way around.
evile: Doesn't sound like he's worth the drama.
SkyeDS: but after I blew up I thought it was funny so I let it go.
SkyeDS: and then she started in on the horses, and I found out today,
Sineater.
evile: Yucko.
SkyeDS: there are two people I know personally (besides the published
professionals I respect, whom I
don't know personally) that I will allow to offer me instruction on
the horses. One of them is dead now,
and she isn't the other one.
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: and Sineater is none of her damned business. She has three kids,
custody of none of them, doesn't
even get to see two of them at all, she's a passive aggressive
manipulative little cuntbag, forgive my
french, who has so fucked up her own life, she has no business
interfering in mine. Which is fucked up
yes, but which for the most part is happy, at least right now.
SkyeDS: Our family has a strange dynamic, I completely agree, but I
do my damnedest to keep it private
because I know people don't understand, so when someone more fucked
up than any of us starts in on us, I
get a little testy about it.
evile: Well, you had mentioned that they were behind on shots &
farrier...so that might have given
someone some ammo.
evile: I don't know about the Sineater stuff.
SkyeDS: I caught them up, and the farrier said they didn't look bad
to him at all when he trimmed them
last week. And I didn't mention shots to anyone in HFS.
SkyeDS: she accused me of kicking one of the horses in the neck.
evile: bizarre. At the Drandmir tourney, I thought you said they were
behind on shots & farrier, and we
were in front of HFS people. I don't know about the kicking thing.
SkyeDS: First of all, I put my foot beneath a chin to get it out of
the grass where it knew it shouldn't be at
that point, and that is neither kicking nor is it in the neck, and
the horses wouldn't feel me kick them in
the neck anyway, they have the strongest necks in the animal kingdom.
evile: Well, if the person isn't coming to you, there isn't any way
to address their concerns. The person is
obviously just making drama.
SkyeDS: pretty close paraphrase: "she kicked the horses in the neck,
and I checked with other horse
people at the park (unnamed) and they said that was abuse" (WHAT
other horse people in the park?)
SkyeDS: she wasn't at Drandmir. and no one else was paying any
attention at that point.
evile: Well...you don't have the quietest voice, and just because
someone isn't looking at you doesn't mean
they aren't listening.
SkyeDS: well she got caught out this last weekend, and so now that
it's out in the open, I can handle it
without coming off like a bitch.
evile: It's best to just be calm, and ask her to come to you first if
she has any concerns about the animals or
anything else.
SkyeDS: "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"
SkyeDS: problem is, that comes off as rude or starting shit when
smacktalking behind back person is
saccharine sweet/butter won't melt in mouth to your face.
evile: Well, don't go to her level. Just be very polite and tell her
you appreciate her concern, but it would
be best to address her concerns directly to the people involved.
SkyeDS: but now that everyone knows about the behind the back
business, surely no one reasonable would
hold it against me that I say nothing at all, by way of being civil
the only way I know how.
SkyeDS: someone last week finally came up to me and said "Kim
said...." and I said, please ask her to
bring it to my face, and she got in my face, in front of everybody.
And then in the face of the person who
dared to tell me (the man she's using for room/board/sex, Travis -
aka Terwin, the annoying one)
evile: What a scene that must have been...
SkyeDS: I've said all I have to say to her, which is "say it to my
face, please". And I've told Mimi the
Monarch, who happens to be the most tactful person I know as well,
that I"m getting tired of the behind
the back smacktalking politics. I left Drandmir over it.
evile: Yup.
evile: Well, if you stay polite & on-topic and let her go off and be
crazy, you will be the one who looks
better in the end.
evile: She did ask me the other day about your 'slave contract'. and
I basically told her that Kaleon had said
something about it, it upset me and I didn't wnat to hear it, and
that was it.
SkyeDS: that's the entire reason people should stay out of things
they don't understand.
SkyeDS: if Sineater or I wanted that aspect of the situation discussed
publicly we would have done so
ourselves.
SkyeDS: the reason we don't, is because nobody udnerstands, and
nobody wants to know what they'd have
to know TO understand, and everyone was happier not knowing.
SkyeDS: I'm sure you do not appreciate now having to explain to
anyone much less your mother about
Austin Polys and what happened with Jeff.
SkyeDS: and you shouldn't have to.
evile: Most people in the HFS dont' seem to be very mature or cool
about dealing with conflict. You would
be cast in a very good light if you just stay calm and very politely
ask that any concerns be brought to you
and not discussed behind your back. It is hard to keep the high
ground...but possibly worth it if it helps
things blow over.
SkyeDS: I did, because Phyllis was standing behind me and tugged on
my hair, and got me to sit down
and be quiet long enough for her to make a fool of herself without
doing the same myself.
evile: The big hoo-ha at Drandmir today is that apparently some
little girl who had been chasing several
Drandmir boys just last week, got engaged to one of them,
like...today, or something. They're getting
married on the 21st. Sunshine gets to be the 'maid of honor.
SkyeDS: Angela and Ricky? (Sora and Raptor)
evile: hang tight, and Kim's stuff will blow over and some new
exciting drama will take its place, people
will forget all about you, and you'll be fine.
SkyeDS: they're both flirts, they both have reputations as such, and
they've been together for a long time
(for them)
evile: I guess...I dunno. Never met either of them before.
evile: Too bad I already have too many plans for that weekend...might
be funny to see Sunshine in a kilt
:P
SkyeDS: Ricky's darkhaired swarthy and Romany in appearance ( I think
he actually does have the Blood,
a little anyway) and Sora is a little elvin/fae looking critter.
evile: That sounds like them.
SkyeDS: Kim still thinks Sora's after Terwin. I've never seen her go
after anyone, myself. But I guess I
have a different definition of flirting.
evile: Some women can be very insecure about stuff like that.
SkyeDS: which is why you are in the position you are in with the
Polys and the Rennies, because you have
to avoid women like that.
SkyeDS: my frustration is this. No one should go to your Mom. I
mean come on, that's like against the
Geneva Convention or something. Some forms of warfare should be
offlimits.
SkyeDS: The slave contract was nobody's business. And I am going to
find the leaks and have words with
them.
evile: I don't know who told Kim, or why she asked me about it. Kaleon
told me, but I really wasn't
interested...that whole thing is just...none of my business.
SkyeDS: It is completely misconstrued, misunderstood, nobody's
business, and we knew people wouldn't
understand, and we couldn't do anything about that, and that's why we
didn't publish or broadcast it.
SkyeDS: people need to respect what should be offlimits, and leave it
offlimits.
SkyeDS: period.
SkyeDS: and I have always maintained if you can't say it to someone's
face, you don't say it at all.
SkyeDS: because on a practical level, for one thing, if you say it
outloud, it WILL get to their face
eventually anyway, and the shit then hits the fan anyway.
evile: Well, like I said, I think this was to make drama, not out of
any concern or friendship for any of the
persons/critters involved.
evile: I tried not to give her any ammo when she asked me about
it...but with people like that, who knows?
SkyeDS: the hurtful thing is that she has come to me for sympathy and
comfort and to tow their car, and
all other forms of support and I've given them. I even complimented
her not too long ago on being a nicer
person than she used to be. And now this.
SkyeDS: I don't know why I even bother. Nobody ever seems to notice
when I am a nice person, they only
remember when I'm not nice, they think I'm not nice with no
provocation (which is almost never the
case), and so it's pointless, and then I just get hurt when I get
backstabbed.
evile: I'm sorry that the HFS people aren't more mature...Actually,
it doesn't seem like anyone is as mature
as I would hope/expect.
SkyeDS: as long as I have a reputation that isn't entirely deserved
and can't be shaken, why should I
bother, just to then get hurt. I should just go along with the
reputation, because it will keep people away
from me and then they can't hurt me.
evile: You have to live with yourself. So if only for the sake of
having peace within, you have to behave in
the way that makes you feel you've done the right thing.
SkyeDS: well, talking to Travis today gave me some new perspective on
it. If she doesn't stop this crap,
then when she runs for Monarch he's going to run against her.
evile: Mixing personal relationships and politics is messy...
SkyeDS: and he promised that whatever she did, if she was openly
aggressive, he would gather together
people and be openly aggressive back on my behalf. I didn't know
there WERE people who would take
my part.
evile: Yeah, taking a moral high ground can get you some allies.
evile: If people who don't really care one way or the other see you
acting polite and mature and someone
else behaving badly, they're going to take your part, even if they
originally didn't care...
SkyeDS: I told him if he openly even appeared to take my side that
the love affair was over, and he would
have basically a roommate (the only reason he lets her live with him
is because he's trying to help her with
school). I don't think he cares anymore. He behaves like he finally
wants rid of her anyway. She wants
to get married and make babies.
evile: eeks. I'd never fuck a breeder, if I were a man who didn't
want kids.
evile: Too easy to get 'oopsed'
evile: Damn, honey, it's after 11 pm! You need to go to work in the
a.m. and so do I!
SkyeDS: I think I've been as vocal as need be to make my point that
I'm tired of being talked about behind
my back and that I would appreciate it if people came to my face from
now on.
SkyeDS: anyone who doesn't, I'm ignoring. they want to call it being
rude, well...if one finger is aimed at
me there are four pointing back at them.
evile: Yeah...don't give people any ammo, I totally agree.
SkyeDS: nodnod
evile: We should get off the infernal machines & off to bed!
SkyeDS: Sonar0m went so far as to lose his temper and make an
announcement with a lost temper to
everyone who had not yet left, weekend before this last. If it
doesn't stop he wants to quit. I told him I
didn't agree with his treatment of the situation, but I do agree with
his assessment of the situation.
SkyeDS: but I'm not quitting. I have friends there, real friends,
and I am not going to give anyone the
satisfaction of making me quit.
SkyeDS: they don't like me, that's their problem and they can leave.
I'm not going anywhere until I'm
damn good and ready for my own reasons.
evile: yup. As long as the fun ratio continues to be higher than the
hassle ratio, why not?
evile: And if the HFS stuff gets dull, you have their email & phone
#'s so you can always keep in touch &
do other stuff with the people who you consider real friends ;)
SkyeDS: that's what I have to be careful about, not to let the ratios
get inverse like they did at Drandmir.
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: but anyway, what time do you get home from work? I get off at
4 and work probably not five
minutes from your place.
evile: I'm taking the bus, so I usually get home around 5 or a little
afterwards.
SkyeDS: when is Sweetie due home?
evile: I am not sure yet. He said he was thinking about starting back
today, but I didn't hear from him. it's
18 hours drive from Greencastle to Austin.
evile: I will try his cell tomorrow a.m. I guess
SkyeDS: hopefully he will be home by Wednesday?
evile: Should be. I'll call him. Do you have a work # where I can
update you if I find out anything, or
would email be better? (don't want to bug you at work if that isn't
kosher)
SkyeDS: the boys have divied up Wed, Thur and Friday nights between
them to do stuff for my birthday.
evile: cool :)
SkyeDS: email would be better, they're anal at work.
evile: Okay. I'll call Sweetie tomorrow morning (not too early) and see
if he's on the road or what. And I'll
emai & let you know.
evile: Tomorrow night will be our lil' gals nite or whatever :) It'll
be fun.
evile: We can make voodoo dollies... :P
SkyeDS: I'll be tired and not terribly attractive to be around (I
will need at least a sponge bath) but
otherwise, I hope so :)
evile: Sounds good :)
evile: Thank you very much :)
SkyeDS: if I'm not good company you can put me in the corner with a
pillow and a book and I"ll be good.
evile: Whatever you want to do. I'll just be happy not to be home
alone with anger management psycho
running thestreets.
SkyeDS: go on to bed, I'll see you tomorrow :)
evile: okay! *hugs*
SkyeDS: Hugs, buona notte bella

•  

1452today

 

Jun. 1, 2003

 

 

watered plants
did dishes
did laundry
went to Drandmir & hung out
next craft day is 14th
went to see Daredevil with Sunshine, Thax, Liz, and Jose. Joe/orc guy
said he'd meet us there, but didn't.

It was a fun day.

Skye_DS was very nice to volunteer to come over ....I mean, yeah, it's
self-serving and stuff, but total win-win.