EJ Sept 27 2002

 

 

 

906Life,the universe, bla bla

 

• Sep. 27, 2002

   

  first:
  http://imagehost.auctionwatch.com/bin/imageserver.x/00000000/wethree/3
  89BB_goldblack.jpg
  
  save on computer at home, I am sure I can make one of these!
  
  ----------
  
  Next:
  Mongolian BBQ with Polys last nite. Gave the banner to bryce &
  angela. was seated down with the suck people--fat loudmouth know-it-
  all bitch and her fat beardy husband who thought it was funny to talk
  in that fake-asian "Oh so solly" voice at an asian restaurant, and
  their fairly well-behaved sprog. Ironic moment of the evening: daddy
  hands baby a piece of flatbread and advises her to take small bites &
  remember to chew, as he and his wife snarfed their food without doing
  much of either.
  
  At my right were Andre and Kili. Andre is OK. Kili is self-involved &
  boring. nattered about stuff nobody else at the table really
  understood except Andre, bla bla.
  
  I went over to say 'bye' to bryce & apple at the other end of the
  table & give 'em the banner, and of course Kili had to come over and
  start monopolizing. So I say bye, and this bitch who had only said
  enough to me to introduce herself, said "Bye,sweetheart," or some
  other sort of endearment in this tone that implied a closeness that
  was NOT there. Stupid bitch.
  
  Ah well,I guess there are some jerks among the polys. So much for my
  theory that there were only smart cool people.
  
  J arrived just as I was leaving (this is curly haired poly dude,
  not SIL's dildo) and I hugged him hi & bye. He is a good hugger.
  
  Then off to see the bellydancing. It was wayyy cool. Great fun. Lots
  of energy. Z Helene was in fine form & the other dancers were
  wonderful, too. Last night's performance was 'Iron Chef'- type
  dancing: each dancer would get a theme shouted from the audience &
  have to incorporate the theme into her dancing. We
  had 'Dawn', 'Midnight', 'Balance', an extremely erotic 'Fire', and
  the very silly, but very well done, 'Vampire Martini' where two words
  shouted from two audience members simultaneously caused hilarity
  among the drummers & Z. Andriana danced 'Vampire Martini' quite ably,
  and managed to incorporate both grace & slapstick humor into her
  performance. I think that is a mark of greatness: to be so good at
  what you do, so confident in your abilities that you can make fun of
  yourself and be willing to look foolish in front of people, who will
  be laughing with you the whole time. There is a lesson there for
  Perfectionist Me to take to heart, I think.
  
  It was a really good night. I sat in the front row for the 2nd half,
  and at the finale, Z tapped on me with her zils. That was kind of
  cool. I also got to play with the fringe of beads on her hips at one
  point earlier in the show, when she was dancing as "Mata Harley" (the
  audience suggestions did get silly there towards the end).
  
  She was shaking her butt near me,so I acted like I was going to
  spank. She said "It's OK to hit me" so I patted her butt a couple
  times, getting the bugle beads all sliding thru my fingers. It was
  way cool.
  
  I just love bellydance costumes. . .

907 Labyrinth quiz for diaryland

 

• Sep. 27, 2002

   

  You are most like Sarah. You are loyal to your friends. Your
  imagination and fantasies are what makes you different. Your will to
  win sometimes can be so strong, that you come across as cruel.
  <a href="http://quizilla.com/users/Jarethsdemon/quizzes/What%
  20Labyrinth%20Charater%20are%20you%20most%20like%3F/"><img
  src="http://quizilla.com/user_images/1032563094_sarah66.jpg"
  border="0" alt=""><br> <font size="-1">What Labyrinth Charater are
  you most like?</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a
  href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>
  ===========================
  
  I am thinking I really need to take a self defense class. I think
  part of why I am resistant to losing weight is because of stuff that
  happened to me when I was thinner. Also smaller & younger, but on
  some level I really think that part of me thinks that fat/big is
  better for defending oneself, or for just presenting a daunting
  enough appearance that most male attention will be diverted to
  easier/thinner/whatever marks.
  
  The things I remember most are of course when I was 9 and overslept
  so I could skip church one Sunday, and while I was out running around
  the neighborhood while my family was at church, a jogger exposed
  himself to me and held my arm and made me touch his penis until he
  ejaculated.
  
  Another thing I remember is Donnie, one of the neighborhood kids, who
  held me down on my couch & squeezed my breasts really hard, when I
  was 14 or so. Which was dumb, because at that time I was all into
  kissing boys and probably would have let him feel me up without any
  kind of force.
  
  And,to a lesser degree,there are all the dumb things I did at Tulane.
  Not necessarily against my will, but under the influence & certainly
  being coerced to go further than I was perhaps willing to go. Of
  course, I was fat then (thinner than I am now, but still not in the
  least bit conventionally attractive)
  
  So maybe the Tulane stuff goes against my theory. BUT, I think there
  might be something to my theory, on some level, somewhere. Maybe I
  will try a self defense class and see how it goes.
  
  Perhaps the realization that on some level I draw a connection
  between being thin and being vulnerable will also be helpful in my
  attempts at developing a better relationship with my body, my health,
  food, and sexuality. Hm.