Jun. 27th, 2002

evile: (clutter)
 
653last nite, last nites dream, etc
  • Jun. 27, 2002
     
    Dream: soemthing about Monica, Mary, and X and being at Cafe Mundi
    (?) maybe? Then parking at work, carpooling with Max G, and he paid
    the wrong meter when he was trying to be gallant and pay for my
    parking...wierd. Dream seemed to have themes on false friends vs.
    true friends, good intentions vs. manipulative behavior. Something
    like that. Is Xtal my 'Mary' or is our friendship as unhealthy as the
    monica-mary one? hm.
    ===================================================
    So last night I went in for my 2nd session with a personal trainer at
    my new gym. I didn't stay to work out afterwards--Tom and David had a
    breakdown in Salado and had to have David's checker towed back to
    Austin,and then they left for Michigan again, this time in Tom's
    Trooper. No champagne and chambord orgy for me :) (they had popped a
    botle of Korbels before taking off the first time,and Tom left the
    rest in the fridge for me. But since he called and I knew I'd have to
    come get him when the tow truck got him back to Austin, no big drinky
    for me. I did have one glass when I got back to the house after
    meeting w/ Rick)

    Last session, the computer was down so Rick couldn't plug in my food
    choices and make me a menu, the caliper was missing so he couldn't
    take my fat readings, bla bla. So this time, we did all that. Didn't
    get around to what I wanted to do, which was learn to use all the
    wierdo weight machines. So, in the spirit of generous kindness I've
    found so evident at my new gym (haha), he said he'd give me a 3rd
    session for free, since we didn't get around to the weights this
    time.

    I somehow don't feel too terribly priviliged by getting this free
    service, considering that I paid for the first 2 sessions, and
    subsequently discovered a card that the gym passes out to new members
    for 2 free trainer sessions.

    Body fat percentage: 37.4
    Fat mass 71.43
    Lean Body Mass 119.57
    Measurements:
    Neck: 12.5
    Upper Arm: 12.5
    Forearm: 10
    Chest: 41.5
    Waist: 33
    Hips: 46
    Upper Thigh: 25
    Calf: 17.5

    Anyway, he supposedly plugged in my food choices and came up
    with 'my' menu. It sucks, and I won't be using it. There are goofy
    things on it, like 3 cups of popcorn for a snack (!!) and .25 cup of
    grape juice with one meal. And 4.5 cups of salad. One meal features
    half a corn tortilla along with the other strange items in that meal.
    Breakfast one day is 1 egg white, 3/4 c. oatmeal, 1.5 oz turkey
    sausage, and 1 cup Orange juice. The next day, it's 3 egg whites, 1
    cup oatmeal, .5 oz bacon, and .5 cup OJ. One meal has me eating 2
    rolls AND 1.2 cups of rice. Jeesus Christ!! This is all to the goal
    of having X percent carbs, X percent protein,and X percent fat in my
    diet every day, all adding up to XXXX number of calories. But it
    makes for some strange quantities of food and some wierdo
    combinations. And this nutrition plan has a ton of bread, which is
    about useless, and not nearly enough veggies. So I won't be following
    it.

    And, of course, he was pushing bottles of vitamins and supplements at
    $35 a pop or so. Yeahright. One is a plain multi--I get Centrum
    Silver or Walgreens Multi-Choice for $6 a bottle. The next supplement
    on the 'must have' list is some herbal mumbo-jumbo items that "have
    been shown to hasten the removal of fat from the liver....may enhance
    liver function during body fat reduction" and is "an attempt to
    increase thermogenesis"...What-EVER. And finally, we have the highly-
    recommended and highly-hyped holy grail of weight loss: Pyruvate,
    which, since I'm on low-carb and in ketosis, my body is theoretically
    making on its own in quantity. Kind of funny the difference between
    this disinterested-third-party-type info
    (http://www.hcrc.org/contrib/sukala/pyruvate.html) on Pyruvate, and
    the hard-seller's version of the same basic info
    (http://www.pinnaclebody.com/pyruvate.htm).

    They wanted me to get a doctor's release to work this program. I am
    embarassed to even send my Dr. the diet and supplement
    recommendations, they are such crap. But I guess I should at least
    have him sign off on the exercise stuff, which I'll actually be doing.

    I have lost 18 lbs since my Dr. appointment in March, so I'm doing
    just fine with my avoiding of processed garbage, white food, & sugar,
    emphasis on lean meat, fresh produce, lots of water, and trying to
    get in some form of exercise every day. Yes, folks, it really is that
    easy. Avoid junk food and get off the couch for a few minutes every
    day and you lose weight. Wow! What a concept. It's kind of
    wierd/scary how easy it's been to lose weight. I have a hard time
    trusting it. But I am NOT going to sabotage myself. I am going to
    take care of my body and let my body take care of me :)

    I am grateful for my trainer getting my measurements and body fat
    calculations,and for getting my target heart rate, but the rest is
    pure crap. The nutrition program on their computer is pretty
    cool,though, with all the calories and percentages all programmed in.
    I wonder if I could get him to let me play with it to develop
    something that I'd actually find useful and do-able? Change the
    percentages to 50% protein, 30% fat, and 20% carbos or something more
    in line with what I'm doing in RL.
 

654Crazy computer generated diet:

 
  • Jun. 27, 2002
     
    Day 1
    Meal 1
    2 pc. wheat bread
    1 cup 2% low fat milk
    1 egg
    1.5 c. orange juice
    1 each profiles 3 & 4 multivitamin
    1 each Lipotropic & Transport
    2 each Pyruvate 1000

    Meal 2
    1 each Apex Oatmeal Raisin Bar

    Meal 3
    1 cup beans, black, cooked
    5 tsp ranch salad dressing
    4.5 cups tossed salad
    1 each Lipotropic & Transport
    2 each Pyruvate 1000

    Meal 4
    2 pc bread, whole wheat
    4 c. zucchini, raw
    1.5 oz cheese, fat free sharp cheddar
    3 oz ground beef patty
    1 apple with peel, lg
    2.25 tbs ketchup
    1 each profiles 3 & 4 multivitamin
    1 L&T
    1 Pyruvate

    Total calories: 1773.7
    24% Protein
    57% Carbs
    23% Fat
    ==============================
    Day 2
    Meal 1
    .75 cup oatmeal
    1 egg white
    1.5 oz turkey sausage
    1 c. OJ
    1 each profiles 3 & 4 multivitamin
    1 L&T
    2 Pyruvate

    Meal 2
    1 c oatmeal
    1 c milk 2%
    .5 tbsp brown sugar

    Meal 3
    .5 each Tortilla-corn
    1 c cooked black beans
    3 c salad
    5 tsp dressing
    1 L&T
    2 Pyruvate

    Meal 4
    6 brown rice cakes
    2.3 oz ground beef patty
    .25 c grape juice
    1 c broccoli
    1 each profiles 3 & 4 multivitamin
    1 L&T
    2 Pyruvate

    Total Calories, day 2:1609.7
    Protein 22%
    Carbs 57%
    Fat 23%
    ===================================================
    Day 3
    Meal 1
    1 c oatmeal
    3 egg whites
    .5 oz bacon
    .5 c orange juice
    1 tbsp brown sugar
    1 each profiles 3 & 4 multivitamin
    1 L&T
    2 Pyruvate

    Meal 2
    3 c popcorn, air popped
    1 c milk, 2%
    1 tbsp cheese, Parmesan, grated

    Meal 3
    1 c pasta noodles
    1 oz chicken breast
    .5 oz grated parmesan
    2 tbsp dressing-italian lo cal
    3 c tossed salad
    4 tbsp prego spaghetti sauce
    1 L&T
    2 Pyruvate

    Meal 4
    2 each roll/bun - dinner
    1.2 c. rice brown, long grain, cooked
    1 c milk 2%
    2 oz chicken breast, skinless, roasted
    .5 tbsp butter
    1 each profiles 3 & 4 multivitamin
    1 L&T
    2 Pyruvate

    Total calories, day 3: 1750.4
    Pro: 22%
    Carb: 54%
    Fat: 25%

    656Re: still fucked

     
    • Jun. 27, 2002
       
      --- In ErikaJournal, E wrote:
      > So, I haven't gotten my retirement fund statement yet, but by my
      > estimate, I've got around $8300 in there.

      Actually, I got my statement in the mail yesterday after work, and
      here's my total:

      7504.28

      20% is 1500.86

      So when I quit, I'll only have $6003.42 to use towards debts. Barely
      cover my Capital One, not any for Magpies credit card :(

      So, continue to work, pay on credit cards and don't use them at all (
      have the long distance bill and my gym membership going on one, but
      theoretically I pay that to 0 every month), get a cool PT job,
      preferably ASAP, but for sure around the holidays and maybe turn it
      into a FT job early next year.
evile: (clutter)
 

  • Jun. 27, 2002
     
    I am so pissed over this email. I sent what I hope is a very very
    nice reply to something that seems pretty much calculated to piss me
    the fuck off:

    I can't tell you enough how sorry I am. I never meant to upset you. I
    have since spoken with J and Asheley, and both girls said that
    they didn't hear me say that. I should have been more careful.
    However if we are going to be nitpicky you have on many occasion told
    me in J's presence how you wouldn't put up with what her mommy
    has put up with in regards to her father. If you want to be pissed at
    me that is fine. Be pissed. There isn't anything I can do to change
    your mind and show you how I was just tired and said an inappropriate
    thing. As far as your expansive knowledge in Psychology and what a
    12/13 year old can grasp, I have to defer to you. I am not as
    educated as you and basically have had to rely on my instincts when
    it comes to child rearing. I spend alot of time with youth. I have
    been trained to deal with adolescents and you are correct that they
    could have misconstrued what I said. I have already apologized to
    you, I said a stupid thing and hurt your feelings badly enough that
    you did what A did at her bachelorette party, and you didn't say
    anything to me until you had been able to work yourself into a
    lather, and be really mad at me. I guess I deserve it.
    At this point, E, I am tired of this mess. I have many more
    things that I need to focus my energy on, and I try very hard not to
    be angry with people, and I go out of my way to avoid confrontation.
    I love you very much, and your friendship is priceless. However I
    can't spend the rest of my life kissing your butt. I guess I am not
    surprised by this anger of yours, after what you told Asheley about
    vengeance and revenge being a good thing for people ( that isn't an
    exact quote, but it is the message she got from it). I considered
    that very inappropriate to tell a child. You have validated for her
    any time that she feels, that getting even is the way to go. ( I
    considered erasing that because of the bithchyness of the remark and
    decided against it as it is a good example in my opinion). I don't
    want to fight with you, and I know you will find reason to be angrier
    with me in this letter. Our friendship is in your hands. I will
    always be here, but I will always be me. I will sometimes say things
    that I think are harmless, and yet I harm, I will continue to say
    what I think and feel. I will be honest with my friends, and not bite
    my tongue when I feel they need honesty. Hell, sometimes I won't even
    think if they need the honesty and I will say it anyway. this in no
    way means that I meant whatever it was I said that upset you as a
    truth. I don't think that Tom is inadequate or wrong for you, but I
    do think that you complain about itty - bitty things about him way to
    frequently, and I almost never hear the positive things, but I have
    also told myself that you probably aren't making these same
    complaints to other people, but tell them to me because I am a
    friend. I will probably continue to share ideas and conversations
    with my children that some may deem inappropriate. I will continue to
    be human and make mistakes. After 32 years take me as I am, or don't
    take me at all.
    I can only say again that I am sorry. and if you would like to end
    our friendship over my poorly thought out comments, then what could I
    do to stop you? You will do what you want to. If you think that you
    are going to be mad forever about this, then let me know. I can then
    prepare for my life without you in it. I get the feeling you don't
    want me there anyway. I wouldn't want to remain in a friendship with
    someone where I feel I can't talk to them about my life, and you now
    feel that you can't discuss Tom with me. You don't have to "fix"
    anything with me. I am not mad at you, but I just can't waste my time
    by walking on eggshells with someone that I thought I had a good
    understanding of who we really are. I thought we were beyond
    pettiness, I at least had hoped that we were.

    -X
 

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