make or break time.....this is the end.

[evile]

http://www.wheresthemoon.com/

Is it loyalty?Or sado-masochism?


The Art and Politics of saying Good-bye

Can every relationship be saved? Some yes. Some no. People grow apart. They get mixed up for the wrong reasons. They're running away from someone or something.
Fact is, when the bond of love is strong enough,
nothing can break it. No third party can corrupt it. And nothing stops the flow.
Sometimes the connection is unhealthy and that can rot your very soul.
In a mutually loving bond--considerate lovers or partners, however,
it's always worth a try to accent the positive,
eliminate the negative,
and not mess with Mr. Inbetween.

So what do you do if the separation is imminent and unavoidable,
either temporarily or permanently?

You can always kill the other person or yourself, to get it over with . But...
you'd definitely get caught or get stuck in between lives so that's no good.
When it comes time to face the fact that it's as much the differences that
define a relationship as the things you might have in common, and when those differences
make it impossible to merge completely, either temporarily or forever,
you have to move forward bravely,
understanding both the art and political aspects of parting:

Remember that the one who tells the truth first wins.
When one person is honest enough to take responsibility and ask for forgiveness for
any harm or wrongdoing, you can
1)blame the other person for everything
2) thank them sincerely and offer what YOU may have done to contribute to the problem
3) recognize that it is illogical to assume that all conditions always remain stable
4) see if there is some way to repair the damage and get closer and more intimate
5) cleverly use that to your advantage and grab some last minute power
5. hide all your feelings, pretend there's nothing wrong and deny everything
6) repeat the same process in your next relationship as soon as possible
7) make a final brave stand to make it work no matter how dire it seems at the moment

But if the situation is terminal all you can do is.
tell them you love them, kiss them good-bye and grieve like a grown up
That said, irony notwithstanding, nothing is written in stone or permanent.


all of which reminded me of reading this a few weeks ago.

Comments

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/complicated-families/201007/when-enough-is-enough

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-would-aristotle-do/201011/siblings-and-self-esteem

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

http://www.interchangecounseling.com/blog/6-steps-to-completing-relationships/