FWIW

[evile]

I have had an experience with A person, B event, or C place that is not the same as yours.
That does not automatically translate to “I think you’re lying”

I have an opinion that differs from yours.
That does not automatically translate to “I am attacking you.”

A bad thing happened to you.
That does not automatically mean that you get to go around saying “I am a good person, and other people are bad people.”

Bad things happen to good people. Bad things happen to bad people. Bad things happen to everyone, all the time. Sometimes as a result of bad decision. Sometimes you're doing something stupid. Sometimes because you’re just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sometimes you’re trying to do something good and it blows up in your face. Sometimes the bad thing that happens is something that the other person isn't even aware of at the time, and it's in no way aimed at you, personally (standing at the bus stop on a rainy day, someone drives by in a hurry and splashes water on you...) Shit happens. All the time. To everyone.

Demonizing others does not help your cause. Attacking others does not help your credibility. Deciding you’ve been attacked and demonized and running around screaming “I’m a victim!” does not invite people to admire you.

You have the right to your thoughts and feelings. But please realize that putting aside your feelings, organizing your thoughts and presenting events as objectively as possible is the best possible way to win friends and influence people.

Unless you just want headshaking and pity. In which case, just keep on doin' what you're doin'.

Comments

[made-of-paradox.livejournal.com]

The thing is, she initially allowed an exception of some sort - and the people she probably mean to include in the exclusion (if that makes sense) are some of the ones most aggravated by what she's been writing, and most feeling that they are the ones she's blaming.

I read stuff under a particular tag, from the beginning of the blog going forward, and before she started denouncing anyone I cared about, I'd come to the conclusion that, whether she meant to be or not, she was either a Drama-magnet or a creator of Drama, mostly from less-than-wise choices on her part. I feel bad about saying that, and I feel bad about what happened to her, but that doesn't really curb my anger or frustration about how she dealt with the aftermath.

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

she was either a Drama-magnet or a creator of Drama, mostly from less-than-wise choices on her part.

Yes. And rather than take responsibility for her choices, she's lashing out at others. I disagree with this approach to life.

And I've watched her talk herself from "the austin group is mostly good" to this bizarre, unreasonable thing about "if one person in a group is bad, or even has accusations of badness, and the rest of the group doesn't [fill in the blank, I have no idea what she's demanding or expecting here.], then the rest of the group is ALSO BAD and to be SHUNNED and TALKED CRAP ABOUT to the ENTIRE REST OF THE WORLD in her fabulous whirlwind tour to discuss sex positivity and relationship communication techniques. (good luck with that, honey...*eyeroll*)

[made-of-paradox.livejournal.com]

Re communication:

http://xkcd.com/1028/

The mouseover nails it. (Put your mouse pointer over the comic and wait for a little text block to pop up.)

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

heh. awesome.

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

good lord....did you hear about what she did at Burning man? that's crossing into actionable territory...jee zus.