eugh, get it offame!
Jul. 8th, 2011 05:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
evilejust got done having an exchange with one of the most passive agressive people i've met in a while (pot, kettle, shush. I know. Workin on it!)
The unofficial organizer/alpha bitch/cutest geekette of the GeekCruise gang posted today about changing our cruise due to some of the ports are in countries having political unrest.
I responded with my concerns--that it had taken quite some time for the group to settle on this sailing, that some folks had already booked and paid deposits, and that she had not liked Jamaica for safety concerns, but those of us who went did fine. And if Carnival has to skip a port, we'd be likely to pick up some freebies or discounts to appease us, so win, even if we skip a port.
Her reply was 'I was not making up how dangerous Jamaica is, I'm just trying to keep people safe. Sorry for caring about peoples' safety'
So I called her on the passive agressive, and clarified that i was not calling her a liar re:Jamaica, restated my points, and asked her not to pull any more passive agressive on me because it's 'unhelpful, unfair, and unkind'
She then deleted the whole conversation and posted 'everything's shiny'
I dislike this sort of non resolution and non discussion. I dislike being characterized as someone who does not care about everyone's safety because I would not do what she wanted me to do.
I did my best to be honest and kind. It may not have been THE best thing to do, but it was MY best, and I'm not angry or ashamed of myself. I will feel sad if we end up losing her and the geek cruisers as friends over it, but I will not be angry or bitter. I will accept the consequences.
Oh well...I'm annoyed but I will not die. I like the geek cruise folks but I will not feel too bad if they all end up following PA Alpha on another sailing.
the deletery bits ====
Her:
"No that I'm looking to change "the plan", but it's been mentioned that two of our three ports in the last few years have been known to have cruise ships not even stop at them due to the violence in them from the whole Mexico goes esplodey thing. With that in mind... wanted to get a feel for thoughts on that and throw out what I see as a couple of options: Keep what we got and hope we stop at the first two ports and if we don't, keep partying on the ship OR see if those who have already booked can change their reservations to a week before/after to do the same cruise itinerary we had last year and just change up the excursions this time around. Thoughts?"
J posted:
"I think she's looking at iteneraries that do not include Belize and Honduras."
Her:
"Just wanting to give everyone a heads up on the angry political climate and yeah, ya'll were great in jamaica cause no one went wandering around the city proper, was all excursions or staying in the terminal. I wasn't making up my concerns over jamaica. My cousin [------] and her husband had a man pull a rather large knife on them when they were in the city proper and demand [-----]'s purse. Wanted to make everyone aware of what's going on now out two out of three of our proposed stops should folks want to consider switching to a week that doesn't take us top these ports. Sorry for trying to look after folks."
And fooey, I don't have any of mine, she deleted them and my own FB posts don't go to my gmail box.
Oh well. Probably for the best.
The FB email:
Apologizing for being a bitch
I want to apologize for being a bitch today. [ex BF] has frakked my emotions to the point where everything looks like I'm at fault and have done something wrong and can't do a damn thing right and that's how your reply came across with me in this stupid state and frame of mind and I did not mean to take out my emotional shit on you cause you're incredibly too wonderful and no one including myself should ever do that to you.
I'm very sorry for how my response came off and for misinterpreting yours and can only beg forgiveness. Going to stop making posts to anywhere that isn't my own fb wall for awhile until i can calm the fuck down and get my rational head back on if Larry hasn't completely destroyed it :-(
Again I'm so incredibly sorry, [bramblekite]. promise this is not the 99.9% of the time me.
----
I deleted the posts because I don't want my ugliness to effect anyone else, had nothing to do with you. I was in the wrong so took the posts down to keep the invite and group shiny. figured deleting the posts would hold off more confusion and hopefully let me explain myself privately instead of publicly
------
Only a couple people know what an ass [ex BF] turned into after we broke up and I about had it yesterday and am still apparently experiencing the post-explosion side effects of being completely retarded and out of my head from anger at him and the things he's said.
really don't want to plaster that out on the geek cruise wall if i can help it.
I'm truly sorry.
-----
Me to her:
*hugs* Take care of you; maybe we can get together and bitch about men for awhile sometime :)
-----
her to me:
Would love that. The things they'll say and do when you give them what they want and it hurts them still manage to surprise me... *hugs* thanks for being awesome
The unofficial organizer/alpha bitch/cutest geekette of the GeekCruise gang posted today about changing our cruise due to some of the ports are in countries having political unrest.
I responded with my concerns--that it had taken quite some time for the group to settle on this sailing, that some folks had already booked and paid deposits, and that she had not liked Jamaica for safety concerns, but those of us who went did fine. And if Carnival has to skip a port, we'd be likely to pick up some freebies or discounts to appease us, so win, even if we skip a port.
Her reply was 'I was not making up how dangerous Jamaica is, I'm just trying to keep people safe. Sorry for caring about peoples' safety'
So I called her on the passive agressive, and clarified that i was not calling her a liar re:Jamaica, restated my points, and asked her not to pull any more passive agressive on me because it's 'unhelpful, unfair, and unkind'
She then deleted the whole conversation and posted 'everything's shiny'
I dislike this sort of non resolution and non discussion. I dislike being characterized as someone who does not care about everyone's safety because I would not do what she wanted me to do.
I did my best to be honest and kind. It may not have been THE best thing to do, but it was MY best, and I'm not angry or ashamed of myself. I will feel sad if we end up losing her and the geek cruisers as friends over it, but I will not be angry or bitter. I will accept the consequences.
Oh well...I'm annoyed but I will not die. I like the geek cruise folks but I will not feel too bad if they all end up following PA Alpha on another sailing.
the deletery bits ====
Her:
"No that I'm looking to change "the plan", but it's been mentioned that two of our three ports in the last few years have been known to have cruise ships not even stop at them due to the violence in them from the whole Mexico goes esplodey thing. With that in mind... wanted to get a feel for thoughts on that and throw out what I see as a couple of options: Keep what we got and hope we stop at the first two ports and if we don't, keep partying on the ship OR see if those who have already booked can change their reservations to a week before/after to do the same cruise itinerary we had last year and just change up the excursions this time around. Thoughts?"
J posted:
"I think she's looking at iteneraries that do not include Belize and Honduras."
Her:
"Just wanting to give everyone a heads up on the angry political climate and yeah, ya'll were great in jamaica cause no one went wandering around the city proper, was all excursions or staying in the terminal. I wasn't making up my concerns over jamaica. My cousin [------] and her husband had a man pull a rather large knife on them when they were in the city proper and demand [-----]'s purse. Wanted to make everyone aware of what's going on now out two out of three of our proposed stops should folks want to consider switching to a week that doesn't take us top these ports. Sorry for trying to look after folks."
And fooey, I don't have any of mine, she deleted them and my own FB posts don't go to my gmail box.
Oh well. Probably for the best.
The FB email:
Apologizing for being a bitch
I want to apologize for being a bitch today. [ex BF] has frakked my emotions to the point where everything looks like I'm at fault and have done something wrong and can't do a damn thing right and that's how your reply came across with me in this stupid state and frame of mind and I did not mean to take out my emotional shit on you cause you're incredibly too wonderful and no one including myself should ever do that to you.
I'm very sorry for how my response came off and for misinterpreting yours and can only beg forgiveness. Going to stop making posts to anywhere that isn't my own fb wall for awhile until i can calm the fuck down and get my rational head back on if Larry hasn't completely destroyed it :-(
Again I'm so incredibly sorry, [bramblekite]. promise this is not the 99.9% of the time me.
----
I deleted the posts because I don't want my ugliness to effect anyone else, had nothing to do with you. I was in the wrong so took the posts down to keep the invite and group shiny. figured deleting the posts would hold off more confusion and hopefully let me explain myself privately instead of publicly
------
Only a couple people know what an ass [ex BF] turned into after we broke up and I about had it yesterday and am still apparently experiencing the post-explosion side effects of being completely retarded and out of my head from anger at him and the things he's said.
really don't want to plaster that out on the geek cruise wall if i can help it.
I'm truly sorry.
-----
Me to her:
*hugs* Take care of you; maybe we can get together and bitch about men for awhile sometime :)
-----
her to me:
Would love that. The things they'll say and do when you give them what they want and it hurts them still manage to surprise me... *hugs* thanks for being awesome
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-07-08 11:07 pm (UTC)She knows that. That's why she deleted it. You won. The fact that she merely passively accepted defeat is just her MO.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-08 11:17 pm (UTC)I know, silly of me.
Best me thinks "She really doesn't want to go to these two scary places. She had a scary time in Jamaica and she does not want to repeat that in two ports of the next cruise."
Worst me thinks "She is threatened by my alpha-ness, by the fact that I'm at least as cute as she is, likeable, not married, and at least as good as organizing as she is, and therefore wants to go ahead and force a confrontation so that I can be the Big Mean E [yet afuckinggain, as usual, as always, when I meet up with insececure, immature, manipulative, passive agressive people] and she can take the geek cruiser group 'back' and book another date and sailing with the geek cruise group, that does not include me and Thax, and once again be the cutest, smartest, funniest, alpha-est, leader of the pack"....
Which, I could give a shit about, really...I just want to have a good time, and these are Thax's type of people more than mine, so what gets me at the bottom of it all is that Thax will suffer being ostracised because I just had to open my fuckin' mouth and call bullshit where I saw bullshit.
Gargh.
Anyway. off to grocery. My cousin and her two younger ones will be in town in a couple hours and we're all going toobin tomorrow! Life is good. and fun.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-09 01:51 pm (UTC)And that has *what* to do, exactly, with the political climate in Belize and Honduras?
Whatev. I am thinking Thax and I will be on this cruise by ourselves with whatever people he and I get to join us. Which is fine, but it's irritating to be passive-agressive-bullshitted out of a group of friends/acquaintances.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-10 04:42 am (UTC)And I think you and I were going to talk about cruise stuff, since we were thinking about taking one. Sadly John has to have surgery now, and thus will not be going cruising this year (and we're trying really hard not to think about if that might be "ever"). But, it might be good info to have, since the three of us can never agree on what to do for vacation. They also both seem to believe that vacations don't need to be planned more than a month in advance D-:
I'm trying hard to convince Sidney that we should perhaps take a vacation with just us, and have the option to interact with other people. Just once. Might be nice.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-10 06:24 pm (UTC)I know you can book more than 2 ppl per room, but you've got to work it out with the cruise line. 4 of our group shared one room last time, to save $. In that way, it worked well, as far as interpersonal stuff, and space considerations, I'm not sure it worked well at all. ymmv :)
no subject
Date: 2011-07-10 08:43 pm (UTC)I appreciate the invite in a HUGE way. I'll chat with Sidney about it. It's after my school year (projected, if I actually get accepted for Spring), and that's been my big consideration when planning trips lately.