so...Tiger Woods

[evile]

Not that any of *you* care, but it's been all over the internet news & all over the radio. Probably all over the TV news & newspapers, too, but I don't watch TV or read the paper.

People are all agreeing that the facts don't add up. I heard a lady DJ last night speculate that the rumor about Woods' affair was true, and that the wife found out about it and chased her husband out of the house with a golf club. Then she said "That's what *I* would do, if I found out my husband was cheating,"

Appalling. Just appalling. Yes, I know there are songs and literature in praise of jealousy and violence ("run for your life if you can, little girl. catch you with another man, that's the end, little girl,"). But I think there's a line in RL society in which men can't really say something about killing an unfaithful wife out loud, but it's still 'cute'and 'funny' when women threaten their men that way.

So, yeah, that's my theory. Maybe not the jealous rage, chasing him out of the house with a golf club, exactly, but I do think Mr. Woods is a victim of domestic violence. I suspected domestic abuse even before the DJ made her adorable comment about bashing in her husband's head.

I don't think the truth will ever come out. There's still a stigma on male abuse victims. Even worse for a big strong male athlete.

But it would be a great day for female-on-male domestic violence awareness, if it ever did happen.

(Stephen Hawking is also a male domestic abuse survivor, but you just don't hear much about that, do you?)

http://www.menweb.org/battered/

http://www.stopmaleabuse.com/

Comments

[erinlefey.livejournal.com]

Threats of violence. How absolutely adorable!

Grr.

[longshot14.livejournal.com]

QFT. Thank you for this.

[lynnivere.livejournal.com]

Ya, sh*t went down!

[goudananda.livejournal.com]

Men are oppressors and part of the patriarchy. Violence from a man to a woman is subjugation. Violence from a woman to a man is leveling the playing field. In this case...the golf course.

Generally speaking, the media is far too concerned with a golf stars marital life than it is on coffins coming home from overseas.

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

I agree that the media is terminally stupid.

But I don't think violence is any good at all...man against woman, woman against man, adult against child, child against child, or the US against Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, or whoever else we want to wave our red-white-and blue weenie at.

I don't feel like there's a whole lot I can do against our national policies of violence and aggression.

But I am pretty serious about supporting Safe Place and discouraging family violence in my own family. (which is why I don't have good relationships with either of my sisters-in-law. I'm sorry but I don't feel that telling me my brother is a fuck up, an idiot, or a 'shmuck' is appropriate. And I got tired of biting my tongue and allowing my siblings to be treated badly in my presence. They are adults and they can continue to choose to be with someone who treats them that way, but I did not consent to be part of that dynamic.)

I also don't enjoy violent movies, TV shows, video games, or [most] violent music, therefore I do not purchase, watch, listen to, or otherwise consume those things.

The word "peace" is on my front door in something like a hundred different languages.

Hey, Gotta start somewhere.

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

ps: I know you are probably just trying to tweak my melon. I appreciate the opportunity for dialogue.

*hugs*

[goudananda.livejournal.com]

I'm not saying I agree with my first comment. I just think that's the general mindset. If I complain of discrimination as a massage therapist who's a male, I've been told By a female therapist, "well now you know how women feel."

I appreciated the stance of those not at the top of the power structure though I don't like being made to feel deserving because I have white skin, a pair of testicles and chose a female dominated profession. I don't see anyone up in arms that male porn stars make less than females...

Discrimination and violence built this country, it's foundations are anchored in it.

Violence in our society is accepted and expected on many levels depending on one's socioeconomic, racial or class status and context.

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

It's hard to recognize, let alone reject, advantages that are accorded to oneself based on something arbitrary like nationality, race or gender.

I think some people get caught up in "Well, they wouldn't treat me that way if I was white/black/female/male/fat/thin/old/young/attractive/ugly/rich/poor" or just assume that they are being either persecuted or promoted due to same.

Sometimes I'd say the perception of being biased against is valid: mentally picture a crying child with a man kneelind down and speaking to the child. then picture the child with a woman in teh same position. what is the assumption? The man is yelling at the kid, punishing, or attempting to kidnap. The woman is comforting and attempting to help.

A white man walks by your house slowly and he is enjoying the morning. A black man walks by your house slowly and he is casing the place.

A pretty, thin woman says something unpleasant about someone's appearance and it's valid. A fat, ugly woman remarks similarly on someone else's appearance and she's bitchy.

I find it very sad that such assumptions are part of our culture. I do what I can in my part of the Universe not to have, allow, or promote such assumptions.

In other cases, maybe you aren't being persecuted because you're a poor white male, but being castigated because your behavior is actually appalling.

[made-of-paradox.livejournal.com]

What sucks is when a guy runs out his front door on a regular basis, usually followed by a projectile that could hospitalize someone if it hit just right, and the one time he raises his hand to defend himself, his wife gets him thrown out of the house and denies him the opportunity to see his children for a month.

(Which I lived next door to at one time.)

And, I'm sick of the media being celebrity-driven. Hate it. Sick of news media anyway, but geez, could we have some substance?

[goudananda.livejournal.com]

In bodywork communities it's well known that men are discriminated against. This is just, the way things are for better or worse. Ads commonly ask for a female therapist, not just from individuals but from spas and professional organizations. It's just tolerated.

My friends and personal life are being whittled down over time. Something about my assertion that Americans who pay taxes are murderers doesn't seem to sit well with most people. My behavior being appalling? Guess maybe it could be construed that way if you weren't paying attention.

Usually those who say things that are hard to hear get some flack. I don't expect to be any different.

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

I didn't mean you-you. I just meant, in general, folks tend to take things personally for the wrong reasons, in ways that absolve themselves of personal responsibility and place them into a 'special class' such as "white male"...people would rather believe they are being pigeonholed & treated poorly due to something outside of their control, rather than own the responsibility for their actions & behavior and accept the consequences thereof.

but I guess you're lookin for a fight today. That's OK too. I'm also bored & looking for some excitement, so it all works out. :P

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

So, hey, you going to be at poly dinner tonight? I got hugs for you! :)

[made-of-paradox.livejournal.com]

I didn't want to be going to male professionals about my body, period, but I'm coming around. My RMT is a guy and if I switch docs anytime soon, it'll be to a guy. (My gynecologist, I won't switch until she retires, because I'm not going to take business away from someone who saved me from a C-section.)

My kids do better at the pediatricians' office with the woman doctor, though, but I think it's a personality thing rather than a gender thing. And the kids tend to do better with medical professionals who are mothers of kids with Aspergers syndrome, but again, that's more a parent-who-has-a-clue-about-autism-spectrum-disorders than a gender thing.

[goudananda.livejournal.com]

You responded to me so I just assumed you meant, me. No worries. I haven't been to a poly dinner in over 6 months. I'm not sure I'm still liked in those circles. Could be wrong. One day I'll venture forth and visit, probably after a few paychecks from the new job.

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

I haven't been to a poly dinner in over 6 months. I'm not sure I'm still liked in those circles.

I am pretty sure you are still liked :) Something I've discovered is that I can be out in a group and make a faux pas that has me squirming with embarassment, regret, self-recrimination, etc. for DAYS every time I remember it, but other people just don't have that kind of energy to spend on thinking about my screw-up.

So I go back the next time, thinking I'm going to have to apologize and explain myself and bla bla bla, and most everyone there is like "E who? You did what? I don't remember that."

Everyone's even gotten over the giant hissy fit I threw when I quit being dinner coordinator. And that was a giant stinkfest.

Anyway. You should come out sometime. :)

[made-of-paradox.livejournal.com]

About that hissy fit -- I think you were feeling under-appreciated, and I can very much understand that now. And you were in a not-so-good-space with some other stuff. So, I remember it, but I look on it as a reasonable reaction to an overall situation that I knew more about than most folks.

(I'm in "whatever" mode about it right now, which might not be the best thing, but I get some stuff done, at least.)

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/12/snl-continues-to-be-disgrace.html