a thought to ponder

[evile]

Over on Facebook, ubiquity said this: "Every attack is a cry for help."

I read it last night, and I'm still thinkin' about it.

What do you think?

{edited to add: Here is a Pace & Kyeli blog entry about it.

Comments

[eigen-zed.livejournal.com]

No. Some people attack because they know they can get away with it, and because the results of said attack are, on the whole, to their benefit. They will continue to attack until the feedback conditions change. If you consider THAT a cry for help, then I suppose the statement is true, but at that point, vague or possibly question begging. I wouldn't consider it a cry for help, because the person does not want to change. The attacking behavior is being rationally chosen because of its positive consequences. The only way for that person to change is for the attacks to no longer have positive consequences. The people who say "oh, you need help because you're attacking me" just reinforce that behavior.

[wyndhover.livejournal.com]

Not every attack, but almost every attack. If you're lashing out, it's because you need something or you're trying to fix something, yes? We get angry because, from our position (however accurate that position may or may not be), something is very wrong. Therefore it would seem that attacking someone is generally an attempt to either fix it or simply make ourselves feel better about it. There's a need that needs to be filled. And yeah, if one keeps the attitude of 'this is asking for help', it can give us the opportunity to defuse things differently. Leastways, that's how it works out to me.

[made-of-paradox.livejournal.com]

Some are and some aren't.

The sort of "attacks" toddlers make are not, they're part of the process of figuring out how the world (socially and physically) works.

Adults? More likely to be a cry for help, but it might be that no one taught the attacking toddler how to deal with things without attacking.