772 Sunday/Trauma
Aug. 5th, 2002 08:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
evileWell, yesterday my SIL went completely batshit bugfuck. My sister H. & I were invited to go riding with them. So we went over to their house and stood around while they finished getting ready, then we followed them out to the ranch where the horses are boarded. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sineater, H. & I went out to get the horses & skye_ds stayed with the trailer & truck. The horses were not much interested in coming with sineater, they kept walking further and further away from him. So he decided to lure them up to the front gate by wheeling out the wheelbarrow that the foreman uses to feed the horses, luring them in by making them think it was dinnertime. He went to the barn to get the wheelbarrow, and H. and I went to look at the other horses, sit in the shade, and just kind of stay out of the way to let him do his thing. skye_ds went down to the gate of the pasture and started yelling at him to do this and do that and don't let them go in the woods, bla bla. H. and I just stayed in the shade and tried to enjoy the other horses while all this drama is going on. So they finally catch the horses and bring them up to the trailer to go to the park & go riding. skye_ds walks back from the gate and she is red- faced and pouting like I've never seen. She informs us that there was 'a failure to communicate' and explains that sineater didn't do what
she told him to do, bla bla. So I'm all like "Well, the horses are here now, so we'll just follow y'all to wherever we're going to ride".
So she drives like a maniac to the park in Round Rock, taking turns too sharply, etc, and when we get there, the animals are a little distressed. Jessie, sineater's horse, is totally sweating. So sineater decides to rinse her off before putting her saddle & stuff on. So off he goes to do that. I ask skye_ds when she has to leave to go back to her new job in CA. She says she quit, because when she got there they told her she was going to have to work 17 hour days 7 days a week. And, besides, the guy was acting like he was going to fire her anyway, so she quit instead of being fired. bla bla. Whatever.
sineater comes back and says he needs some help managing Jessie and the water bucket, etc. So off she goes. H. & I stay with Mirage & brush & comb her. A while later, we hear skye_ds screaming and crying and carrying on. They walk out of our line of sight, and I hear a 'slap'. Sounded like skin on skin, but since the horse was wet, it could have been her hitting the horse. Then I overhear her saying something like the only thing she wants to hear from Eric is "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am". They get back to where we are and skye_ds tells us that Jessie smacked her upside the head (turns out that Jessie tossed her head and skye_ds's head just happened to be in the way). She tells sineater to put Jessie in the trailer and we'll all just take turns riding Mirage, since sineater can't control his horse. H. says she doesn't want to do that, because it's too hot and she doesn't want Jessie locked in the trailer out in the heat. I suggest that if Jessie is being a discipline problem, the best thing to do might be for sineater to put her thru some exercises and re-assert himself as the boss. So, she orders sineater to bring Jessie back out of the trailer and tie her to a tree, and to make her watch Mirage being put thru some warmup exercises. sineater tries to warm up Mirage, but can't get her up to a trot. So skye_ds takes over and walks/trots Mirage around a bit. We notice that Jessie has gotten a sore spot on her lip, don't know from what. skye_ds starts talking about how the injury just goes to show how out of control the horse is, if she can't even be tied to a tree without hurting herself, and then she starts telling sineater that they're not going anywhere or doing anything until he can demonstrate that Jesse is under control. (all of her orders are being issued in this hollow, just-got-done-crying voice, with occasional hiccups/sobs--she is way freaked out)
H says she wants to go back to aunt L. & Uncle B's. I tell sineater and skye_ds we are going, hug him bye. He says he's sorry he's such a fuckup, or somesuch, and I grab him and look him right in the eye and say, "You are wonderful and I love you. There are lots of people in the world who are going to say ugly things to you and about you, and you do not need to be one of them"
I hug skye_ds bye, too, but she doesn't hug back. H says bye to sineater and the two horses, but not to skye_ds. As we get around behind skye_ds she hollers something about how nobody's leaving until everyone is clear on exactly what happened here. I wave it off, I don't want to hear it. But sineater does a 'come here' gesture, so we stand a moment. sineater says "I messed up, I lost control of my horse, (mumble mumble)". I say "I'm sorry that happened, I'm really sorry that happened" and we get in the car and flee for our lives.
Stopping on the way to L&B's for a 6 pack of beer and some potato chips. I pound 2 as soon as we get to L & B's. H. says she feels sick and goes to lay down. So I finish her beer and wait for Aunt L. to get back.
I am seriously traumatized from yesterday. It was the worst I've ever seen skye_ds. I am pretty sure something happened in CA that she's not talking about, because nothing that happened yesterday was enough to warrant the extreme, red-faced, out-of-control freaking out that was going on.
Aunt L. says I need to distance myself from it, because it hurts me too much to watch sineater being abused like that. I know she is right, but at the same time, I've got this 'battlefield' mentality of NOT wanting to leave someone I care about out in the open, drawing enemy fire, while I'm safe in the foxhole. Ya know? But...sineater is a grownup. He has made his own decisions in life, and he must be getting something from the relationship that makes it worth hanging out while she is screaming and crying and hitting him/threatening to hit him.
*sigh* I am very very sad. But I have to go to work, so I can't drink more beer
H., I think, said it best when she said that watching them in action makes her very grateful for the people she has in her life; not just her BF J. (I guess they didn't break up after all?) but all the normal, caring relationships she has.
I guess, in order to make whatever peace I can with this, I will have to take the H. point of view & be grateful for my loved ones and all the sane, healthy relationships I have. Grateful that I grew up knowing I was worth something and that nobody has the right to scream at me or hit me or make me feel like shit about myself.
sineater, H. & I went out to get the horses & skye_ds stayed with the trailer & truck. The horses were not much interested in coming with sineater, they kept walking further and further away from him. So he decided to lure them up to the front gate by wheeling out the wheelbarrow that the foreman uses to feed the horses, luring them in by making them think it was dinnertime. He went to the barn to get the wheelbarrow, and H. and I went to look at the other horses, sit in the shade, and just kind of stay out of the way to let him do his thing. skye_ds went down to the gate of the pasture and started yelling at him to do this and do that and don't let them go in the woods, bla bla. H. and I just stayed in the shade and tried to enjoy the other horses while all this drama is going on. So they finally catch the horses and bring them up to the trailer to go to the park & go riding. skye_ds walks back from the gate and she is red- faced and pouting like I've never seen. She informs us that there was 'a failure to communicate' and explains that sineater didn't do whatshe told him to do, bla bla. So I'm all like "Well, the horses are here now, so we'll just follow y'all to wherever we're going to ride".
So she drives like a maniac to the park in Round Rock, taking turns too sharply, etc, and when we get there, the animals are a little distressed. Jessie, sineater's horse, is totally sweating. So sineater decides to rinse her off before putting her saddle & stuff on. So off he goes to do that. I ask skye_ds when she has to leave to go back to her new job in CA. She says she quit, because when she got there they told her she was going to have to work 17 hour days 7 days a week. And, besides, the guy was acting like he was going to fire her anyway, so she quit instead of being fired. bla bla. Whatever.
sineater comes back and says he needs some help managing Jessie and the water bucket, etc. So off she goes. H. & I stay with Mirage & brush & comb her. A while later, we hear skye_ds screaming and crying and carrying on. They walk out of our line of sight, and I hear a 'slap'. Sounded like skin on skin, but since the horse was wet, it could have been her hitting the horse. Then I overhear her saying something like the only thing she wants to hear from Eric is "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am". They get back to where we are and skye_ds tells us that Jessie smacked her upside the head (turns out that Jessie tossed her head and skye_ds's head just happened to be in the way). She tells sineater to put Jessie in the trailer and we'll all just take turns riding Mirage, since sineater can't control his horse. H. says she doesn't want to do that, because it's too hot and she doesn't want Jessie locked in the trailer out in the heat. I suggest that if Jessie is being a discipline problem, the best thing to do might be for sineater to put her thru some exercises and re-assert himself as the boss. So, she orders sineater to bring Jessie back out of the trailer and tie her to a tree, and to make her watch Mirage being put thru some warmup exercises. sineater tries to warm up Mirage, but can't get her up to a trot. So skye_ds takes over and walks/trots Mirage around a bit. We notice that Jessie has gotten a sore spot on her lip, don't know from what. skye_ds starts talking about how the injury just goes to show how out of control the horse is, if she can't even be tied to a tree without hurting herself, and then she starts telling sineater that they're not going anywhere or doing anything until he can demonstrate that Jesse is under control. (all of her orders are being issued in this hollow, just-got-done-crying voice, with occasional hiccups/sobs--she is way freaked out)
H says she wants to go back to aunt L. & Uncle B's. I tell sineater and skye_ds we are going, hug him bye. He says he's sorry he's such a fuckup, or somesuch, and I grab him and look him right in the eye and say, "You are wonderful and I love you. There are lots of people in the world who are going to say ugly things to you and about you, and you do not need to be one of them"
I hug skye_ds bye, too, but she doesn't hug back. H says bye to sineater and the two horses, but not to skye_ds. As we get around behind skye_ds she hollers something about how nobody's leaving until everyone is clear on exactly what happened here. I wave it off, I don't want to hear it. But sineater does a 'come here' gesture, so we stand a moment. sineater says "I messed up, I lost control of my horse, (mumble mumble)". I say "I'm sorry that happened, I'm really sorry that happened" and we get in the car and flee for our lives.
Stopping on the way to L&B's for a 6 pack of beer and some potato chips. I pound 2 as soon as we get to L & B's. H. says she feels sick and goes to lay down. So I finish her beer and wait for Aunt L. to get back.
I am seriously traumatized from yesterday. It was the worst I've ever seen skye_ds. I am pretty sure something happened in CA that she's not talking about, because nothing that happened yesterday was enough to warrant the extreme, red-faced, out-of-control freaking out that was going on.
Aunt L. says I need to distance myself from it, because it hurts me too much to watch sineater being abused like that. I know she is right, but at the same time, I've got this 'battlefield' mentality of NOT wanting to leave someone I care about out in the open, drawing enemy fire, while I'm safe in the foxhole. Ya know? But...sineater is a grownup. He has made his own decisions in life, and he must be getting something from the relationship that makes it worth hanging out while she is screaming and crying and hitting him/threatening to hit him.
*sigh* I am very very sad. But I have to go to work, so I can't drink more beer
H., I think, said it best when she said that watching them in action makes her very grateful for the people she has in her life; not just her BF J. (I guess they didn't break up after all?) but all the normal, caring relationships she has.
I guess, in order to make whatever peace I can with this, I will have to take the H. point of view & be grateful for my loved ones and all the sane, healthy relationships I have. Grateful that I grew up knowing I was worth something and that nobody has the right to scream at me or hit me or make me feel like shit about myself.
