I read a response recently from someone who read a Tune Up in which I mentioned getting bullied as a kid. He confessed that he was a bully in his youth. Now that he has kids and is more spiritual, he has this pit at the bottom of his stomach when he thinks about all the people who are afraid of their shadow because of the torture he inflicted upon them.
On a human level he is afraid of the damage he did and on a personal level he's terrified of the karma he created for himself.
Rather than answer him directly I thought I'd answer here because we all have done things we wish we could take back prior to becoming as enlightened as we are today. And chances are, we are still doing damage, knowingly or not.
Sure, hindsight is 20/20, but what can we do now, on a practical level, to wash our hands of the damage done?
There is a time of year [Virgo] when the universe supports us in going back to review our past actions and repair the holes we created. But we don't have to wait for Virgo to clean house.
As time increases between cause and effect - the cause being the nasty action, the effect being the nasty cosmic kickback - there is greater likelihood those actions will be repeated. Chances are, the bully is still bullying, but is just not aware of it.
Rather than wait for the right time of year, let's nip it in the bud now.
This is where all the clichés come in: it's never too late to say I'm sorry, loving someone means never having to say I'm sorry, and so on. All that is fine and good, but at the end of the day you want to be able to move forward in your life, free of the guilt and self torture - as well as being a better person for having gone through what you've gone through.
Remember, it's not about being a nice guy. It's about correcting those parts of our soul that are not perfect.
This week, we can take the opportunity - and I recommend you do it more than once - to think about those behaviors and situations where we tainted the lives of others.
Close your eyes, take deep breaths, and let the memories come.
Do you feel bad?
Do you feel guilty?
Do you think you're the worst person to walk the earth?
Don't. That's not what we're after. People often mistake guilt with spirituality. We think that if we beat ourselves up, we are absolved. It doesn't work that way. Self-beating doesn't help us change. What we want to do is be conscious of how we acted and to commit to doing it differently next time.
If you are serious about removing evil from your past so it doesn't chase you down at every turn, then you will be willing to take time to rewind your mind and search for those imperfect moments.
And please use the meditation below. It will be a big help.
All the best,
Yehuda
72 Name of the Week
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
evile
