evile: (clutter)
 written sometime....1988/19/90 in there ish. I am cleaning my work/computer/craft room and trying to get rid of stuff.

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Nikki stood in the moonwalk, staring out into the night. The air and water were filthy, but with the warmth of the bourbon filling her, it didn't seem to matter.  The polluted air held the last light, and made it look lavender.  The greasy water of the Mississippi looked like black patent leather. What was amazing was how little any of it mattered.  The jumble of grey rocks below her, the melody of a lone saxophone somewhere down the walk, the low call of the flat river barges, none of it mattered. Goddamn it, this should be making me feel something, she thought.

But it was over. She and Theo had been together here, sharing muffalettas and laughing. Now he was gone, and nothing was magic anymore.

"Who the hell needs it?" she muttered, tossing the last of her mint julep into a garbage can.  The river stank, the humidity was killing her, and she had a deadline. 

And here's the worst part, she thought to herself, conversationally, as if she was just mentioning the whole fiasco to a friend, the worst part, is that  he let me down so easy, I don't even know when he stopped loving me.  He let me down so easy, I didn't even know I was falling.
evile: (Default)
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I don't really do fashion... My 'look' is like girl next door + a touch of Pippi Longstocking.

For celebrity fashion, I like Isabella Rossellini and Monica Bellucci, they are elegant and classic and never overdone. Plus they are aging slowly and gracefully--no plastic, no obvious dye jobs, they just seem healthy and happy and comfortable with their looks. Which is totally sexy.
evile: (coyote)
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I prefer to go dutch. But it's up to the people dating to figure out. If people can't communicate effectively about something as simple as dinner plans, it's not a good sign for the future. Just my humble two cents.
evile: (Default)
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Pho!
evile: (Bitchplz)
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I am enjoying other peoples answers to this question. I agree with most of them. I have so many pet peeves...I don't even know where to start. Someone said "Fake people." YES. A couple have a pet peeve with Bad/rude drivers. Oh, my, YES. Someone else said people with badly behaved kids in public. YES! Another person said "people who play the fucking victim role" & "people who play with other people's hearts"...OMFYES! Someone also wisely observed that it can mostly be boiled down to "Life. People. Natalie Portman."...pretty much, yeah. That about covers it.

Loud/high pitched people. People who treat everywhere in the world like it's their personal kindercare playground. There are times for boisterous enjoyment of life and there are times to tone down both the volume and the 'bounce' and these folks just don't get it. Yes, I see you running, screaming, playing chase and peek-a-boo between the tables and chairs here in this place that is not a playground. If you are more than 5 years old, you should know better, stop it. It is not cute or funny, it's embarrassing and obnoxious. And if you are the parent of a 5-or-under, start teaching your kids when and where to romp and scream so that I don't have to encounter grown-ass adults who do not know how to behave in public.

People who violate my personal space with unwanted touch (back to fake: folks you just met who decide to glomp onto you and be insta-best-friends [generally because you have something they want.]) Or ppl you meet at a gathering and they see other people hugging you so they assume that they can hug you, too, even though the other people hugging you are long time friends and they just met you. If you just met someone and you want to hug them, ASK.

People who just HAVE to be a speshul snowflake. They can't say "Oh, I dont' like Chinese Food," like a normal person might when discussing dinner options. They have to have a life-threatening SYNDROME that will KILLLLL them if they allow but a morsel of Moo-goo Gai Pan to pass their rosy lips!!!! OMGELEVENTYONE!!1!! And they have to tell you about it in excruciating detail!!! every time the topic comes up!!! Which it does frequently because they like to bring it up. These Speshul Ones seem to have a variety of allergies, illnesses, and personal quirks that make almost any normal human activity one can think of into a life threatening situation, a bizarre ritual, or a trigger for some horrific past baggage. It's beyond tedious. We are all special. Couldn't you be special in an interesting, fun way?

People who just HAVE to be the center of attention at all times. They don't care if they have nothing interesting to add to the existing conversation that everyone else seems to be enjoying, they'll just start a lecture on their most favoritest topic: themself. And if you won't pay enough attention and be sympathetic enough to their sad little story about that one time in fourth grade when someone called them an ugly name, they will take their clothes off or start fondling someone's goodies in front of God and everybody, or some other charming behavior that ensures that all eyes will be on them. These people don't seem to care or understand that there is a difference between positive, approving attention and negative, disapproving appalled disgust from their 'audience'.. all they seem to care about is that everyone is focused on them.

"Life. People. Natalie Portman." Fuckin' A.
evile: (Default)
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I'm really kind of annoyed by people who are all one or all the other.

I don't need to be entertained by my friends 24/7. I like *conversations,* not stand up routines [or long-winded autodidactic lectures on a topic of minimal interest to anyone but the speaker, as is sometimes the case]. But there are times when I, or someone else, will get on a topic of hilarious rantiness (such as a bad day at work, the trashiest wedding they'd ever been to, family drama, dealing with a bureaucracy, etc.) in which it's good to let them vent AKA 'entertain' and go ahead and appreciate the story and do our best to make light of a stressful situation (if that's what the person seems to need).

I also don't really care for friends/acquaintances/family members who come over or call me up on the phone and expect me to do all the talking/disclosing/'entertaining'

I prefer balanced relationships in which everyone gets the spotlight sometimes, in which sometimes we laugh and are silly and crazy and sometimes we talk seriously about serious stuff, and people can roll with the changes in conversational tone as needed.

I probably took this question more seriously than was needed.
evile: (headphones)
[Error: unknown template qotd] Often, 80's girl singer pop will do it. But sometimes I gotta pull out the big guns--The Smiths and/or Morrissey. Sometimes the only way out is over the top.
evile: (Default)
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Probably just hang around the house and touch myself.
evile: (evilE)
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On land, lemon meringue pie.

At sea, warm chocolate melting cake.
evile: (Default)
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Young, pretty women get a lot of attention, but not much respect.

Women who have kids are bad mothers. It doesnt matter what they do or don't do, someone will pass negative judgement on their parenting.

Working women who want respect, recognition, and reward for their accomplishments and contributions in the workplace are pushy bitches.

And old women, ugly women, disabled women, and fat women are either ridiculed and hassled or invisible and ignored.

I think old men, ugly men, disabled men, and possibly some fat men [more into the morbidly obese range than just plain 'fat'] are probably also treated this way. So...the only way to be equal (and it's not a nice equal, it's a nasty equal) is to be old, ugly, disabled, or fat. Why am I thinking of that Kurt Vonnegut story?
evile: (Default)
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I have been so privileged in life, when I think about it...I've had *so* many good days. What they all seem to have in common is that they involve some combination of:

experiencing something beautiful (art, nature, music, theatre)
with someone I care about (friends, family, lover. Occasionally just me)

often accompanied by tasty food and drinks.

I think mostly what it takes to make a peak experience is to stop and appreciate, "Wow, here is this beautiful/unique/amazing thing I'm seeing/hearing/tasting/smelling/touching and here I am, fortunate enough to be enjoying it with [wonderful person/people I care about]"
evile: (monkey)
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I've already wasted too much time and energy kicking myself for opening my fat stupid mouth when I shouldn't have, never manage to say the right thing, ever, so I think I'd rather just wish I was born mute.
evile: (Default)
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No. This is just one more example of how people get too caught up in 'what happens next' and neglect to focus on 'what's happening now?'

I know it's hypocritical of me to say, because I waste most of my 'now' in thinking about the past or the future...but at least I recognize it as pathlogical....so maybe that counts for something.
evile: (Pippi Longstocking)
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Pippi Longstocking, of course!
evile: (Default)
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I really liked Benny and Joon.

Edward Scissorhands and Gilbert Grape tie for 2nd place.

(Everyone adores Captain Jack, it's hardly worth mentioning )
evile: (Default)
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Hedgehog bear: Fat grumpy lazy territorial sleepy dangerous and prickly. But with a soft tummy for those I unprickle for & allow to pet me :)
evile: (Default)
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Appetizer: Shrimp with cilantro & a nice Pinot Grigio

Main: Surf N turf: Filet Mignon & Lobster tail, with fresh steamed green beans and a baked sweet potato with butter. Pinot Noir or an off-dry White Zinfandel.

Dessert: Warm Chocolate Melting Cake with a really good port, or a nice cup of Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee, perhaps with a shot of Bailey's, Kahlua or Amaretto in it :)

followed, of course, by cigars & brandy or scotch at Alfred's with the cruise gang.








My god, this Writer's Block made me miss cruising...SO SO MUCH. And also hungry. Gonna go start dinner now :)
evile: (vampire)
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Jamaica.

Maybe here
evile: (bike)
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My car is HarveyBug. My bike doesn't have a name yet, but I just got a 6-bottle wicker wine basket to put on the back, so it's going to have to be named something like 'el drunko'. :P
evile: (celtic bat)
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Regret is a funny thing. Some people can look into their past and say something like 'oh, why did I drop out of college?' or 'i never should have broken up with soandso'...and imho, that kind of regret is unhealthy and unproductive. You absolutely cannot change the past, you can't take back a stupid, unkind, thoughtless word or action. You cannot and should not torture yourself with 'woulda, coulda, and mighta been'...you have no idea how something may or may not have turned out if you had or had not made a certain choice, and you can definitely make yourself sick or crazy second guessing yourself.

I spoke with a young woman a week or so ago who refuses to revisit past actions and refuses to have regrets to the point of (imho) unhealthy denial, and refusing to learn or grow from past mistakes. Her past is all 'what those mean people did to me' and no personal accountability. Also pretty sick. Refusing to have regrets means you'll just keep making the same mistakes over and over again.

I think the happy medium to this would be in saying, 'ok, I can't go back to when I was 18 and un-drop out of college, but I can remember how I felt and what I did and know this regret and if a similar challenge comes up and I feel overwhelmed and want to quit, I can remember how bad quitting feels. I can try harder and stick with it and find resources and tutors and stay with the discomfort and fear of failure instead of chucking it all.'

Hindsight is always 20/20, you can always look back and say "THERE! That is the thing!" when it was completely unclear to you at the time. That's the nature of wisdom, learning from one's mistakes. But not endlessly blaming, beating up, and punishing yourself for doing or saying whatever it was. It may have sucked, it may have been stupid or thoughtless or selfish or even downright cruel, but you did it, and here are the consequences. Learn and grow. (And, as much as it fucking sucks, make NEW mistakes to regret. UGH!)

So...that's where I'm at with regret today. I'm sure there will be other days when I'm tearing myself up over something I can't go back in time and do better/different, but today is not that day.

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