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Jan. 27th, 2026 01:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
evile We survived the freezing and sleeting over the weekend; Thax got a day off yesterday and a half day at work today.
Cousin B. started his new job today instead of yesterday; he's already having second thoughts due to compensation and commute; the work itself is work he likes and wants to do but maybe not for these guys. He is going ahead with a final interview at another place and will take that if it's offered. Not as cool of a job, but better pay and benefits. It's nice to have options.
My job hunt continues; I am thinking I am involunarily retired at this point, whether I like it or not. Just have to figure out how to limp along to end of 2028 where I'll get to start collecting my state retirement. If the state still exists by then and if they're still solvent and if they haven't passed legislation to not give benefits to filthy commie libtards. And if I haven't been murdered in the street or dragged off to the camps by federally funded domestic terrorists...
Housemate Sam is in a bunch because her deceased husband's family is trying to contact her; her husband died and then his brother died within the same year, Sam is very mad at her SIL for not being more supportive of her after her husband's death. I have suggested as kindly as possible that perhaps one should give grace to a person who lost both of her brothers in a short span of time and therefore had no more emotional energy to give to one of her brothers' grieving widows (basically putting myself mentally in a situation where Brother A and Sineater passed in a short span, and what if anything I'd feel like saying to or doing for skye_ds under those circumstances--not much, I'd wager)....Sam is a prime grudge holder. Worse than me, and I didn't think such things were possible. Anyway, apparently her deceased husband's stepfather is selling some property and wants Sam to get her deceased husband's share of whatever it is. The SIL is being improperly communicative, saying things like 'you need to call me,' and 'you have to...' bla bla bla, and this is rubbing Sam the wrong way. We'll see if she continues to be moved to cut off her nose to spite her face and nurture that grudge over the potential benefits of cooperating and communicating with her deceased husband's family. It's not my business either way, but Sam is fussing and complaining about it a lot. At one point, Sam said all she wanted was a little house out on her sister in law's property where she could just rest and live quietly until her death which she still feels is imminent, though she's not talking suicide anymore. I wish that was a viable option for her; living in a single room with two cats in my house isn't good or healthy for anyone, I don't think.
2025 was a year of terrible mistakes. I am finding it very difficult to stop 'coulda, shoulda, woulda'-ing myself over them and I am being consumed by The Nothing, harder and harder every day to get up and look for jobs and do what I need to do. Mistakes happen. I need to learn and go forward and do better as a result of whatever I've learned. I am not accomplishing anything by ruminating and kicking myself for ruining my life last year with a series of poor choices and mistakes.
Cousin B. started his new job today instead of yesterday; he's already having second thoughts due to compensation and commute; the work itself is work he likes and wants to do but maybe not for these guys. He is going ahead with a final interview at another place and will take that if it's offered. Not as cool of a job, but better pay and benefits. It's nice to have options.
My job hunt continues; I am thinking I am involunarily retired at this point, whether I like it or not. Just have to figure out how to limp along to end of 2028 where I'll get to start collecting my state retirement. If the state still exists by then and if they're still solvent and if they haven't passed legislation to not give benefits to filthy commie libtards. And if I haven't been murdered in the street or dragged off to the camps by federally funded domestic terrorists...
Housemate Sam is in a bunch because her deceased husband's family is trying to contact her; her husband died and then his brother died within the same year, Sam is very mad at her SIL for not being more supportive of her after her husband's death. I have suggested as kindly as possible that perhaps one should give grace to a person who lost both of her brothers in a short span of time and therefore had no more emotional energy to give to one of her brothers' grieving widows (basically putting myself mentally in a situation where Brother A and Sineater passed in a short span, and what if anything I'd feel like saying to or doing for skye_ds under those circumstances--not much, I'd wager)....Sam is a prime grudge holder. Worse than me, and I didn't think such things were possible. Anyway, apparently her deceased husband's stepfather is selling some property and wants Sam to get her deceased husband's share of whatever it is. The SIL is being improperly communicative, saying things like 'you need to call me,' and 'you have to...' bla bla bla, and this is rubbing Sam the wrong way. We'll see if she continues to be moved to cut off her nose to spite her face and nurture that grudge over the potential benefits of cooperating and communicating with her deceased husband's family. It's not my business either way, but Sam is fussing and complaining about it a lot. At one point, Sam said all she wanted was a little house out on her sister in law's property where she could just rest and live quietly until her death which she still feels is imminent, though she's not talking suicide anymore. I wish that was a viable option for her; living in a single room with two cats in my house isn't good or healthy for anyone, I don't think.
2025 was a year of terrible mistakes. I am finding it very difficult to stop 'coulda, shoulda, woulda'-ing myself over them and I am being consumed by The Nothing, harder and harder every day to get up and look for jobs and do what I need to do. Mistakes happen. I need to learn and go forward and do better as a result of whatever I've learned. I am not accomplishing anything by ruminating and kicking myself for ruining my life last year with a series of poor choices and mistakes.
