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evilestepdad G had a MRI because when he was visiting my mom at the care facility, he was having some trouble with balance and the staff there noticed and had him set up the MRI appointment. He has multiple lesions on his brain; at this point it's not clear if it's viral (slow covid?), stroke damage, cancer, or what. They wanted to refer him to a neurosurgeon for a 2nd opinion and to get an expert to have a look, but he heard 'surgeon' and was like "NOPE"....so he's at home and my sister H is with him.
H put it very well when she said something like "Our parents prepared us really well for their deaths; they did not prepare us at all for what's actually going on,"
Neither is in a mental state to be able to make good decisions about their own care .
H is going to speak with G/Dad's primary physician and get paperwork done so that she has permission to view his medical records and talk with them about his health. G/Dad has his finances set up so that H can write checks on his accounts and speak to his financial people, so I told her to look at getting medical power of attorney, and 'how to frame it' to G/Dad so that he'll be OK with it "I want to make sure that they'll do what you want them to do, even if you get to a point where you can't tell them yourself,"....our folks are control freaks and they don't want decisions being made 'for' them...so we have to make sure that if they give us permission to do things, it's what they'd want, not what we'd want for them. And Mom and G have both said things in the past that indicate they want quality of life not quantity. H. says he's visibily declining daily.
This is hard news. H. is calling G's son sineater, my estranged stepbrother, to let him know what's going on, and our aunt L, who is the rock of our family. H wants me to tell A, our brother, who is living with us. H does not want A up here 'helping'. I respect her decision on that, A can be very emotional but he has changed some since his prison term and he's pretty darn helpful here in Austin to me and Thax and our aunt L and uncle B. But he's also trying to get his own life together, working 2 jobs and trying to network and do his art and start to get paid for it, etc. So, I understand and I agree with her. Hell, I don't want to go, but it's too much to leave on H's shoulders.
I am prepared to head up there again if needed but H says let's hold off on any decisions until we've all at least had a chance to process the news and sleep on it for a night. She's with G. at home for now, her daughter and their exchange student are at home in their own hometown which is about an hour from mom/G's house and my brother in law is keeping the girls on schedule with school and everything, driving them where they need to go, keeping them fed and whatnot. So....everything is covered for now. The girls are freshmen in HS so they're not completely needy children, so I'm sure that makes it easier.
G had planned to retire at the end of August. He is one of those men whose lives have mostly been their work. I had a bad feeling that he would not survive long after retirement, even though his plan had been to retire an bring mom home from the care facility to take care of her...I just really couldn't see that happening. I talked to him the other day and he was rambling and repeating himself and at the time it concerned me but I let it go... I hate it when my bad feelings are right.
H put it very well when she said something like "Our parents prepared us really well for their deaths; they did not prepare us at all for what's actually going on,"
Neither is in a mental state to be able to make good decisions about their own care .
H is going to speak with G/Dad's primary physician and get paperwork done so that she has permission to view his medical records and talk with them about his health. G/Dad has his finances set up so that H can write checks on his accounts and speak to his financial people, so I told her to look at getting medical power of attorney, and 'how to frame it' to G/Dad so that he'll be OK with it "I want to make sure that they'll do what you want them to do, even if you get to a point where you can't tell them yourself,"....our folks are control freaks and they don't want decisions being made 'for' them...so we have to make sure that if they give us permission to do things, it's what they'd want, not what we'd want for them. And Mom and G have both said things in the past that indicate they want quality of life not quantity. H. says he's visibily declining daily.
This is hard news. H. is calling G's son sineater, my estranged stepbrother, to let him know what's going on, and our aunt L, who is the rock of our family. H wants me to tell A, our brother, who is living with us. H does not want A up here 'helping'. I respect her decision on that, A can be very emotional but he has changed some since his prison term and he's pretty darn helpful here in Austin to me and Thax and our aunt L and uncle B. But he's also trying to get his own life together, working 2 jobs and trying to network and do his art and start to get paid for it, etc. So, I understand and I agree with her. Hell, I don't want to go, but it's too much to leave on H's shoulders.
I am prepared to head up there again if needed but H says let's hold off on any decisions until we've all at least had a chance to process the news and sleep on it for a night. She's with G. at home for now, her daughter and their exchange student are at home in their own hometown which is about an hour from mom/G's house and my brother in law is keeping the girls on schedule with school and everything, driving them where they need to go, keeping them fed and whatnot. So....everything is covered for now. The girls are freshmen in HS so they're not completely needy children, so I'm sure that makes it easier.
G had planned to retire at the end of August. He is one of those men whose lives have mostly been their work. I had a bad feeling that he would not survive long after retirement, even though his plan had been to retire an bring mom home from the care facility to take care of her...I just really couldn't see that happening. I talked to him the other day and he was rambling and repeating himself and at the time it concerned me but I let it go... I hate it when my bad feelings are right.
