1453It is a good day to die.

[evile]

 

Jun. 2, 2003

 

 

The Taurus is right-on today. It occurred to me that tomorrow is our
8 yr anniversary since our first date. Where is he? Will he even
call? The last 8 yrs of my life have been a complete waste. If Skye_DS
kills me in the bed tonight, I may do some instinctive struggling for
life, but ultimately it will be a mercy. I am tired of being alive. I
am tired of living with someone who has no respect or regard for me,
my feelings, or my wishes. I am tired of my job, which is going
nowhere and will never pay me anymore than I am making rightnow. I am
tired of the bullshit with X and M stirring up my family with
whatever drama & lies they feel like telling.

No more. Today is a good day to die.

==============================================================

Taurus
Horoscope (by Astrocenter.com)
You may not want to openly admit something to someone today, dear
Taurus, even though you may know that it is true. More than likely,
you are working to hide behind a barrier that has formed between you
and a close loved one or family member. If you insist on behaving
this way, you may want to consider why you even bother staying in the
relationship in the first place.

Gemini
Horoscope (by Astrocenter.com)
Like a game of chess, you may need to think through your next move
quite carefully, dear Gemini. It could be that your opponent is
taking a long time to make his or her next move, and you are
impatient. And as a result, you may make your decision rather
hastily. Feel free to take as much time as you need. Your opponent
may be thinking two or three moves ahead of you already, so be sure
to concentrate


evilE
Sun Sign: Taurus
Rising Sign: Sagittarius

If you don't say exactly what you mean today, evilE, you might get
yourself into a great deal of trouble. Don't compromise your own
thoughts and values just so you can maintain the peace. Love and
beauty are quite favorable for you today, but only if you can take a
relaxed and carefree attitude towards them. Your emotions will be
quite strong, so do your best to balance them with a rational frame
of mind.

Your Rising Sign
With the Moon trine Uranus today, your intuition will likely be much
stronger than usual. Many Sagittarians recognize that this is a
strong ability within them; however not everyone is apt to trust in
this. How many times have you looked back on something and told
yourself that you should have listened to yourself or trusted your
instincts? Probably more often than you care to recall, if you're
like most. With the extra boost today, try to learn from this.


Daily Numeroscope - June 2, 2003
Life Path Number: 6
You're sure to want to spend this day in the company of a trusted
friend or loved one, evilE. Relationships are known to be of the
greatest importance to you, Six, and the 2-vibration that is
happening will serve to enhance this. Be good to yourself by taking
time to chat with coworkers, and to spend time with those you care
about most. Perhaps this will be the perfect day to eat lunch out and
away from the work scene. Later this evening, consider getting
together with someone special - this day also favors romantic
interludes.

Comments

1455Re: It is a good day to die.

[evile]

Jun. 2, 2003


me & J-Law, re: X & her family

Me:

I just realized I left the dog outside & probably left
the back door unlocked when I left for work this a.m.
Aunt L. is going to give me a ride home at lunchtime to
let the dog in & lock up the house. I have been super
careful not to mention to anyone I don't trust that
I'm home alone, and I haven't posted that info in my
lifejournal or diaryland. X's letter to my mom &
her email to me both said stuff about how out of
control [her husband M] is, with his anger & stuff. I feel sad
and sorry as hell for those kids....but a 'supervised
visit' with them would 1) be me admitting some kind of
wrongdoing or sickness that needed 'supervision' and
2) would involve taking either X, M, or one of
their odious friends on outings that were meant for me
and the kids to have fun, not drag one of those
worthless scum on my gravy train.

Breaks my heart...but that's the only way. It was
totally their choice to have things end this way. Not
my fault. Not my problem. I keep feeling bad,but I
have to keep reminding myself of this.

---
J-Law:

Sounds like you have a good, solid perspective on X's kids...
a very hard thing to achieve/keep when you're heart is broken. But
you are right... and I have a feeling that [goddaughter], at least, will seek
you out in future when she needs adult contact/advice from a woman
who isn't her mother.

I used to go down the street to the folks I babysat for - the mom,
Mary used to pour us a couple fingers of Stoli and listen to me bitch
about my mom.

It was/is very wise of you to be careful about the home alone stuff.

Re: 1455Re: It is a good day to die.

[evile]

1457Re: It is a good day to die.

Jun. 2, 2003

J-Law to me:

I think I am going to have a good stiff drink before I read that pile
of crap. I bet my fingers will poke right through the page, just
like when I read George Will in Time magazine.

Good thing my rent comes out of this paycheck. Otherwise, I would
get myself a ticket to Austin to clean her clock for her.
=====================
me to J-Law:

evilE H wrote:
*hugs* When dealing with X and [husband], I just have to
keep reminding myself that shit splatters. As tempting
as it might be to smack the hell out of 'em....

Un fuckin believable. I haven't done anything wrong,
but I am still just dying to go in and correct all of
the misinformation she is loading onto my mom, about
me, about the guy she had a thing for, etc.

But that would just make me look like I had something
to hide or be ashamed of, and I DONT.

===============================================
Date: Mon, 2 Jun 2003 11:50:17 -0700 (PDT)
From: J
Subject: Re: monday!
To: me

You haven't done a damned thing wrong. You know that in your heart,
and I know it, too. Setting the record straight with your folks is,
hopefully, unnecessary - they won't judge you on the basis of X's
obviously biased/subjective account of things. But, it might make
you feel better knowing that they have your side of the story.

BUT - I totally respect what you said about not having to
justify/explain your conduct, since there was nothing wrong/shameful
about it.

There is nothing worse than someone else spouting their
misinterpreted and/or downright deceitful crap about you. I HATE
that. It's betrayal. It's like, why the hell can't she leave it
alone? It is clearly over... and, if it wasn't, she put the last
nail in the coffin by talking shit about you (in writing no less) to
your own mother.

I mean. Fucking duh!

Re: 1455Re: It is a good day to die.

[evile]

Jun. 5, 2003


Date: Tue, 3 Jun 2003 10:05:31 -0700 (PDT)
From: J-Law
Subject: Re: What can you get for "just" 80 $#@!*ing dollars?
To: me

P.S. [X husband]'s behavior is definitely worrisome. Obviously, hang on to
the letter (X's too for that matter)... Usually, they like to see
a series of acts before a restraining order will be issued, unless
there is some kind of imminent threat of bodily harm - like if he
assaulted/threatened you, etc. I would say, though, if [X's husband] or X
make even one more contact with you or someone in your family, it
might be wise to check out the restraining order possibility.

The fact is, if you are freaked, and the facts justify your concern
(which I think they do), then you aren't abusing the system in any
way. You are being cautious, which is why they have restraining
orders in the first place. Too many people let this kind of thing
get too far before they get help.

Be safe, sweetie! And Sweetie will be home tonight. See what he thinks
about all of this.

XOXOXO!!!

J-Law