1822 Brother A's next romantic trainwreck

[evile]

• Jan. 5, 2004

  Me to J-Law:
  
  Sister H stayed at the San Antonio NYE party, and had
  this *very interesting* conversation with Brother A's
  childhood friend, Trey's wife, rubber_pig.
  
  Background: Trey and rubber_pig were 17 when they married,
  due to Trey knocking rubber_pig up with the first of their
  THREE children. Trey & rubber_pig are now 27 years old &
  have been married 10 yrs. Brother A says rubber_pig gives him a
  "Skye_DS vibe." She was wearing a dress open down to
  the bellybutton at NYE, showing lots of cleave. She is
  not big like A, but she has no waist & lots of boob.
  
  Anyhoo... So, we had left about 10:30 to go back to
  Austin, and Sister H & rubber_pig were chatting.
  
  rubber_pig: Sister H, when you come to visit this summer,
  you'll have to come stay at my house!
  
  Sister H: Oh, you and Trey are getting a house? That's
  cool.
  
  rubber_pig: No, Trey and I are getting a divorce. By the
  way, your brother's HOT!!!
  
  ----
  erggghhhh! Not another psycho in the family. And this
  one is apparently quite fertile. bleh!!! I wonder how
  much a vasectomy costs & if Brother A would be interested
  in getting one as an early b-day/Xmas present?
  
  
  ===================================================
  
  Date: Mon, 5 Jan 2004 08:55:06 -0800 (PST)
  J-Law to me:
  
  
  I don't want to terrify you. But I need to say this. rubber_pig (a
  cursed name, incidentally. Every rubber_pig I have ever known has been
  totally bughouse) sounds like a blend of UB and That Girl. It's
  the "Your brother's hot" thing that twigged me.
  
  Oh, and the lotsa boob, no waist, bad taste thing.
  
  Love the vasectomy prezzie idea.
  
  ===================================
  Me to J-Law:
  
  I don't think it's possible for me to be any more
  terrified re: Brother A & rubber_pig. They traded phone numbers
  as we were leaving, so "we" can call next time "we"
  are in Austin, she said. Yeahright. Sounds like she's
  gonna make a booty call soon. Please, god, let Brother A
  have common sense for once...
  
  You are dead-on re: her personality--very much a blend
  of That Girl and UB. I guess I should mention--as we
  were rounding up the troops to leave at 10:30, Brother A
  and Trey were in Trey's old room upstairs, sitting on
  the bed with rubber_pig and Trey's Very Tall Coworker there
  (My theory is he's their Eunuch, but the
  Gomez/Morticia/Lurch Addams Family comparison works
  too) Anyway, when we were all back in the car, Brother A
  said he got the feeling they were about to tell him
  "something really important"--I jokingly said
  something about them wanting a Threesome with The
  Eunuch fanning them or something. But maybe I wasn't
  that far off. bleh! I need bleach for my brainstem!!!

Comments

1824Re: Brother A's next romantic trainwreck

[evile]

Jan. 5, 2004


J-Law to me:

I am sorry - I just HAD to laugh about the Lurch/Eunuch/Threesome
bit. Jeezus. Whatta picture. Very bizarre that I could get rubber_pig's
personality dead-on without having met her. I do that a lot. Either I
am psychic, or prone to snap judgments on scant information. :)

===============
me to J-Law:

I wonder how one tastefully brings up the matter of one's childhood
friend having a skankspouse & needing a vasectomy ASAP so as not to
get into the same situation as said friend? Brother A generally tends to
value honesty & bluntness more than the rest of my fam, so maybe I
should just come right out with it.

1825 Re: Brother A's next romantic trainwreck

[evile]

Jan. 5, 2004
> me to J-Law:
>
> I wonder how one tastefully brings up the matter of one's childhood
> friend having a skankspouse & needing a vasectomy ASAP so as not to
> get into the same situation as said friend? Brother A generally tends to
> value honesty & bluntness more than the rest of my fam, so maybe I
> should just come right out with it.
J-Law:

There is no tasteful, diplomatic way to say what needs to be said to
Brother A. I say, just put it right out there. Although, keep in mind
that, while Brother A is more receptive to honesty and directness than the
rest of your folks, if, for whatever reason, and however prematurely,
he has a real thing for rubber_pig, he may well go stubborn/ignorant on
you, viz., "I am going to fuck her anyway," or "it's not like that,
we're just going to hang out."

But if that happens, it will happen regardless of how you put it.
And, in my view, the direct/honest approach is always preferable.
The more one softpedals or talks around a subject, the more likely it
is to confuse the other person or totally unknowingly send mixed
signals/messages yourself.